New Colored Shades
by ztb
Summary: A new Anastasia and a new Christian met each other under very different circumstances; will they be able to overcome them? Will their love be as strong?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is based on Fifty Shades of Grey, but the story and the characters have little to do with it, except the physicals and some phycology's similarities.**

**Any way, hope you enjoy it.**

**Anastasia P.O.V**

The dim in the club always let my eyes conflicted, it takes me an extra second to adjust to the lighting; the music is really loud, but I'm not even capable of identify the artist all I ear is noise and my ears just feel numb towards it, I'm too much accustomed to notice it.

It's a packed night, that's for sure, I can see expression of pure happiness - all of them fake of course - but none of that seem to matters to the clients, they just want to have a great time, see pretty women, drinks some alcohol and have fun with their buddies; yes, all they see in us is an accessory to their own amusement, just something to fulfill their entertainment, a little piece of meat, candy for their eyes exclusively for their pleasure, for their sight. They don't care if we are here because we have little kids at home that need nourishment or if we don't have a family and need to survive on our own or if we are illegal immigrants that just happen to be conduct to this place and forced to work in here... Nop, none of that really matters as long as we just stand here looking hot as hell, shaking our body, rubbing ourselves against disgusting bulges and don't ruin their little fantasies, yep... Pretty much how it works.

Yes, I'm a stripper and I don't always have this passive-aggressive anger inside me, but some nights I'm just a bit more irritated than others; why do I even do this? Long story, guess I can categorized me as someone who really doesn't have anyone and needs to make a living, so I definitely found here my own income. It's not as bad I as put, I can confess that much, a least not in here where I work; bosses aren't pushy people and treat us all okay, never pushing anyone to prostitution - even though a lot of girls do it from their free will; the club is nice - more specifically a club for the rich society to come and have fun; and our work schedule isn't any kind of exploration either.

I work every day from eleven pm to four am - though let me just tell you it never truly ends at four, Sundays we are closed and every girl get one rotating night off during the week, the money is very good so all and all things just aren't so bad. I guess it just pissed me off see this elitist group of men looking at us, appreciating our bodies, trying to make us fulfill all their fantasies and still think of us as the scumbag of society, like they are just so much better them us that they give as their own money almost for pity, almost trying to rub it on our face how much better they are because of the crazy amount of money they can take out of their pocket and throw at us, showing us that they live the perfect live, with the perfect family, perfect house, perfect cars, perfect empire, perfect self - expect of course none of that is perfect and we see right through their bullshit.

That's way I have the most unbreakable rule as long as can remember: never, ever sleep with any client. I may very well have to take my clothes and show my body but I have some dignity and I'm the one that decides to whom I share my intimacy and bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a totally innocent person, I'm a full grown woman who can enjoy sex and there's plenty of temptation going on around here, but I always manage to get a hold on myself and not succumb to any of that, the whole thing of not spiting where you eat and so on; plus it's just necessary for these men to open their mouth for my libido to go kill itself by the amount of ignorance that comes out of it. Always trying to objectifying us, always trying to make us feel like we are just something they just can take home (well, usually its hotels), use and abuse and get rid off when they had enough, like that's just what we are meant to be, some toy.

But here we where, the club is incredibly packed I guess it must be happening some kind of celebration, but I don't pay much attention to it since I'm starting to get ready for my performance. Every girl gives a show on the pole, there is a lot of secondary poles trough out the divisions, but I'm talking about the one that's right in the center of room, I'm talking about the main show; there's always two or three of them during one night, from different girls depending on the requests from our viewers.

In the benign, when I started working in here, these shows terrified me. I felt very ashamed, all eyes set on me, analyzing my moves, watching me expectantly with greedy and lustful stares, it made me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious of my own skills even though nobody wanted nothing more than for me to continue doing what the hell I was doing. Eventually I started to enjoy it, to feel more confident and I grew accustomed to it and started doing it every now and then. It most certainly helped the fact that I was being requested more frequently than any other girl if I may be honest; and with the passage of time I start to be called for it every night and now, I just love it.

When I'm on the main pole, it's just me and the music, nothing really matters and that's why I like it so much, not because of the compliments I get or the looks from the men watching or even the amazing tips I get, no it really is because I just feel like I'm in a world of my own. I feel I can disconnect from everything and I give the best show it can possible be given, not for the clients in the audience but for someone who only exists in my mind; someone who's not only looking at my tits and ass, but at my femininity, at my whole body as an epitome's of the female form, as a little piece of art that it is there not only to get a man an hard-on but to provide the most erotic performance that is able to seduce the mind first and for most before it gets to the body. It helps me get trough my work and it helps me feel good with myself, like I'm not just some vulgar girl who's selling their body for dollars but some respected and admired performer.

So, this person that I imagine I dance for doesn't really exist, I least I thought so until I stepped in the stage tonight. I started my dance, on my own rhythm, not even notice the whistles and winks and kisses that were being send to me, I don't really care about it I'm shut down and just look for the vague space between sits imagining my mysterious man as usual, nothing really different going on until I glance at the most beautiful and hypnotic grey eyes I'd ever seen in my entire life.

I felt almost sick with that fix stare that I was getting and try so very hard to look any other way but I just couldn't, it felt like I was trapped in that grey sea, that was just mesmerizing, that felt like a storm and yet had the almost calmness and control to it; it was disturbing, during the whole time his eyes never leave mine, never once looked at my almost naked body, like that didn't even matter, like my boobs and legs where not the attraction in here.

I don't remember ever feel so vulnerable, it wasn't like the feelings I would get when I first started – the shame, the self-consciousness – no I just felt exposed like I never felt before. I didn't even notice his face I was so caught on in the eyes. When I heard the music stopped, I felt conflicted I needed to get the hell out of here and calm myself down but at the same time I just wanna to keep dancing to this mysterious eyes that just so happen to made my fantasies real.

Fortunately I managed to get a hold on myself and leave the stage in one piece the fastest I could, strippers aren't allowed to drink during work time and I never felt the urge to break that rule, but tonight I just needed a freaking shot of tequila, or maybe two.

When that was checked, I was still holding on to the bar when I felt a hand grabbing my shoulder. I felt shivers up and down my spine I didn't see who it was but my mind just flick to the pair of grey eyes that I saw and I felt almost dizzy, was it he? Who was this person? How in the hell was he able to make me feel like that just by looking at me? What would I do, did I wanna know who's this mysterious man might be, but then… No, I could not break the rule! Maybe it would be better if I just said a polite hello and scape while I can, would I manage to do that?

I finally got the guts to turn around and see to whom it belong the hand that was still holding on to my shoulder… Well, here goes nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Just wanna to say thanks to everyone who dedicated their time into reading my story and to apologize for taking so long to update. As to a way of saying sorry between today and tomorrow I'm updating two chapters **

**So, thank you and enjoy.**

**Christian P.O.V**

God! I absolutely hate this kind of things; I think it's despicable really. Who even wants to go there? Only very sad and desperate individuals that can't afford to attract others with their own charms, so they need to bring money to the table.

Oh, and I hate even more these kind of women! They are the ones that decided to go down that road so I can't stand when they pull the victim act and let's not even start on how they behave themselves, mousy little things. Definitely not my type, don't like it one bit, never did never will.

I prefer my companions quiet and obedient not loud and obnoxious, but Elliot insisted too much for me to come and it is after all his bachelor party so I have nothing else to say in my defense except resigned myself and prepare to face one very annoying night between my meticulous and controlled nights.

It's somewhere 1.30 in the morning and after a never-ending dinner with all my brothers' friends and colleagues, it is decided it's time to reach our final destination. _Just one more hour or so and you can walk out of here without have to withstand the whining's of Elliot about your very anti-social behave, _my conscience let's me now and I have to agree, this painful night it's about to be over soon, I just have to hang in there a little bit more.

So here we are, at the door of the so famous 96 club – how original 69 reversed is the name of the place, I almost spit on the floor the feeling of repulse is so big and we didn't even entered the damn thing, _fuck, this hour is going to be a lot longer than I thought._

I swallow the most amount of air my lungs can bare and close my eyes for the briefest moment, when I open them again a very tall and built man is greeting us – I guess this would be the security guy, who knows for all I care it can even be pimp – I don't pay much attention to whatever he is saying so I only understand that he wished us a good time and to enjoy ourselves.

Yeah, right a good time! I could almost laugh in his face if the music wasn't irrigating me so much at this moment.

We were escort to our own table, which I believe it must be the VIP area; at least Elliot had the good sense of reserving a private division far way from the crowd and the ordinary men that come here find sexual release.

I guess I shouldn't be the one to judge considering my alternative lifestyle, but the idea of paying women specifically for their sexual services or even for the sight of their bodies is a bit disgusting to me, sure I present my women with extravagant and expensive gifts and I provide for them while they are mine, but that's because I want to, not because I need.

I could have any of them right now not giving them anything but myself and they would still throw themselves on the floor to… hmm, the sexual thoughts just invaded my mind I feel my cock growing in my pants, definitely a sign that I need to call Stephanie and let her now that I'm in needs that she has to provide.

I instantly distracted when some women comes flashing in my direction, she's very pretty it's true with long black hair and beautiful dark blue eyes and amazing body but the though of her working here and have another men growling and touching her skin makes me not enjoy the visions that can form in my head.

She doesn't stop even thought I'm pretty sure I gave her a nasty look, instead she smiles at me and coming next to my ear says " Hey baby boy, wanna let me give a lap dance? I will show you a good time, I promise"

She almost drool herself looking at me and I could stop from smirking at that thought, but when she tried to touch my chest I instantly flinched and felt an incredible amount of repulse coming over me, I felt like vomiting in her lap.

"No thanks, I'm not attracted to whores" maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh but I could stop it, just wanna that she would go way from me.

A look of surprise waved in her face, but quickly recovered letting go of a snarl "Then why you are here pretty boy?"

"That's none of your business, but I do believe it is your business to go suck on some dicks to earn a few dollars"

"You're a fucking cold hearted bastard, you prick!" she said angry, but somehow she just didn't look that much resentful or hurtful at my words so who knows maybe they really are true.

After my brief encounter I felt it was time to go, I couldn't take it more, being here was start to get into my nerves. I walk up to Elliot letting him now of my intentions but considering the music level I had to speak a little louder than I intended to, and once everybody heard what I have to say immediately they tried to stop me.

"Oh, c'mon Christian stay a bit longer, we didn't even seen the main event" _main event, what the fuck?!_ Was this some wrestling fight?

"Yeah, you have to see at least one girl one the main pool"

"I heard it is going to be a very nice performer now" _oh, I bet._

Elliot started to begging me to stay at least until the end of the so called main performance and not wanting to ruin his night I reluctantly agreed.

Suddenly all the lights went off, leaving just a very slim dim at the stage. The lights start to expand to the rhythm of the song and when I notice there was already a girl standing there, moving herself in the most erotic way I ever seen.

I almost felt my heart clench when I gave a good look at her, god was she heavenly beauty! She had long chestnut hair and even from here it felt so soft I wanted to grab it in my hand and pull it… hard. Oh, I shouldn't have these thoughts towards a whore it's not appropriated.

A whore!? What do even know about her being a whore? Maybe she's not one, well she works in here so there's nothing else to discuss.

But she's so hypnotizing her body it's perfect, she's not very tall but so very proportional and those legs look incredible long in heels. But it is when I see her face that I'm thrown off guard, this girl absolutely looks like an angel the nose is so small it appears to be main of porcelain, the lips are perfectly full and pouty and her eyes… oh! Her eyes, is there any more astonishing eyes in the world? They are just two big oceans, so crystal and pure it's truly indescribable.

I was glue to my spot, couldn't move even if my life depended on it. This woman could have been created by Botticelli himself, so amazing she is. I mean she really must be, no one has that skin so white, so flawless, so delicious.

Immediately I started having flashes of her bending over my lap with her sculpted butt turning different shades of lovely pink; of her on her knees her lips just slight open waiting for my…

NO! It has to stop here! She's… she's a stripper god dammit! She's probably one of those who tell all kind of different stories of poverty and difficulties depending on the clients they are with, just so they can earn an extra buck after fucking them.

That thought nauseated me she can't be fucking other guys. _What the fuck am I saying?_ I don't even know her name or her pass, probably she has some kid or some pimp or… For some reason I just can't put my head around that, she's looks so different, so special.

She's a stripper! _And she's messing with your mind, you have to stop this!_

She really is messing with my mind, but she doesn't resemble to any of the other women around here, she doesn't look trashy or vulgar, and she locked her eyes in me like she's dancing only for my sight and what a sight! She definitely should be an artist muse, or maybe just mine. _Mine?!_ I must be going mental.

But before I have time to think anything else, it's over and she disappears into the crowd, she doesn't even pick up all the tips that se earned that are on the stage's floor. My eyes instantly start looking for her I have to see where she is. _God, I'm really going crazy._ I must need to talk to Flynn.

After a restless scan through the club I find my muse on the bar and my body starts walking there without communicate to my brain.

She's here, grabbed to the balcony drinking something. She appears nervous, is she? I wonder why, did she felt she was dancing for me only? I start to get insure, should I approach her?

She's just inches away and instinctively I start to extend my right arm to grab her but I manage to pull away before I reach her. Do I really wanna do this? She's just a stripper, probably I'm putting too much into this it must be my sexual desires that want her because she's beautiful and kind of fills the profile.

On the other hand I really want to talk to her or even just touch her skin. I get in an impasse not knowing either to grab her or just let it go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thank you so much for reading my story it truly means a lot and knowing that someone likes it is the only reason I keep writing **

**I'm sorry I don't have the time to answer the reviews individually but I'm glad I have the support to carry on and I'm so happy you find my writing endearing enough, specially since I'm just a European girl in whose country English is not the official language. **

**But without taking any more of your time, here it goes. **

**Anastasia P.O.V**

_I finally got the guts to turn around and see to whom it belong the hand that was still holding on to my shoulder… Well, here goes nothing._

I gulped for air and pasted a smile in my face turning around slowing.

"Hi there, may I help you?" When I complete my turn over, disappointment and relief storm throw me. Nop, it wasn't the grey-eyed man just some guy whose features I didn't really absorb.

Should I feel happy or sad about this? I could swear I felt his presence behind me.

What the hell I'm saying? I felt his presence? How can someone feel the presence of another person without even knowing them, I didn't even know the guy name.

Probably for the better he didn't approach me, I felt like I was dancing just to him, I almost felt like we created some kind of connection but I guess that's just crazy talk. He probably was just looking at me like any other men in the room, think the same old same and he's astonishingly breath-taking so I'm sure he must have some girlfriend or maybe wife and it's just at the club being an unfaithful jerk.

Yeah definitely for the better, I know I wouldn't be able to maintain neither my posture nor my unbreakable rule intact around that man if he wanted to. God, how can someone gain that amount of power over me just by exchanging looks, but not just any looks, oh… well let's not go there. It's not worth it, must likely thing I will never see the guy in my life again, so no need to worry myself.

_There you go Ana! Keep the positive and nice thoughts flowing_; it's better not go on and create expectative and crazy hopes in my head that will never match the truth.

Yes, I started to feeling much better thinking like that and even was able to conduct a nice conversation with the man that approach me after my performance. Unfortunately for him, he was interested in taking me to some hotel and showing me a good time.

No way in hell I was going to have any kind of relation with this guy, so I had to turn his offer down.

"I'm so sorry honey, I don't do those things. But I'm more than happy to indicate some amazing girls you may like to spend your time with." I said all smiley and flirtatious _(gotta love the job)_

"But I'm interested in you doll, loved your dance. I would like to see you dance for me in private I will make sure you time is well spent." He says liking his lips, _ugh that's repulsive_.

"I'm sorry darling, like I said I just don't do that. There are plenty of girls here whiling to do that, I can call in a few if you want but if you don't then I think it's better if I just go to work."

I was really trying to be very polite, but it was reviling to be something difficult.

"Are you deaf? I said I want you, I will pay good money and you will like it" he winks at me "Now common, I can't waste much more time I have a home to go to."

"Then you should be there in the first place not in clubs harassing women. I said no, I'm sorry but I have to go, have a good night." I snap.

Just when I was about to walk right past him, he grabs my arm pulling me closely to his chest.

"I think you just playing hard sweetie, and I think I'm done with that so let's go before I get real mad" he's really starting to get pissed and tightening his grip harder on me.

When I was starting to fight his hold someone appears behinds us forcing the man to let go of my arm.

"I believe the lady said she didn't want to go anywhere with you." The voice was full of authority and for moments I thought that maybe my gray-eyed stranger came to me so I turn around as quickly as I can, tripping in the process.

Luckily my savior extends his arm and catches me before I got the opportunity to fell flat on the floor. I follow the arm right until the chest and, oh may these are very wide-shoulders! I can see that behind the light blue t-shirt there's a very built body but when I lift my head high enough to perceive the face, I'm not received by whom I wished.

Instead I have a pair of light blue eyes and a lovely mess of curly blond hair expecting me. The guy was tall that's for sure and strong enough to hold me with just one hand. He was very handsome and I was very grateful that he appeared that moment but before I got the chance of saying anything to thanked the man, my almost-kidnapper speaks full of anger.

"Who the fuck are you? I don't believe anyone asked for your opinion so just mind your own damn business and leave the _lady_ to me." He could almost spit when he said lady and instantly tried to pull me to him again.

The blonde stranger however didn't let got of me and instead pushed my assaulter very hard, to the point that the man needed to grab himself to the bar, otherwise he would have been right on the floor.

"If you don't leave this moment, I'm making sure you never set a foot here! And if I see you approach any girl like that, you better fucking believe you will have no foot to put anywhere anymore."

The almost-kidnapper looked very offended but complied to what was told him and leave in a hurry, bursting anger throw every fiber of his being.

"I… I don't… I mean, thank you so much. This doesn't happen very frequently I would had the situation under control but then I would risk a very serious reprimand by my bosses, so you spear me that. Thank you" It was all I could say, obviously I didn't wanna him to think I would be so weak I couldn't take care of myself and it was true. If I did resolve the matter on my own hand, probably I would have to deal with a lot of shit storm later – _clients always right type of thing. _

The man laughed and said very softly "It's all right, he was being a real bastard and I really think is awful men that impose themselves on women."

"Oh, where are my manners, I'm Elliot Grey by the way. Do you wanna a drink, to calm down, maybe?"

"I'm Stacia, nice to meet you. And no thanks, we can't drink while working. You know, work rules - break them and be fired. I appreciate your thought and particularly your help but I really must keep going."

I didn't know the this Elliot guy so no way I was telling him my real name, I never did and neither did the other girls, it kept us safe.

"I get that, do you wanna come with me to my table Stacia?"

"Oh no thanks, I'm gonna see if I can get out of here a little bit earlier." I politely refuse, apparently I'm refusing a lot of offers tonight but after that stunt I'm not in the mood of going facing a bunch of drunk horny guys.

"Even as a favor to someone that possibly saved your life?" He was smiling sweetly so I know he wasn't that much serious.

"Yeah I'm sorry but that experience kind of tired me, I would really prefer just go home but maybe if I see you around another time you can collect your favor"

"I understand that no worries. I don't think that's gonna happen in a few weeks I will be a married man, tonight it's just a special celebration."

"Well, congratulations sir! I hope you get to enjoy your night well. I can send your table a nice girls if you want as a way of paying my debt."

"That would be nice. No way I can convince you though? You king kicked ass in the pole and I was hoping you could get to meet my brother. It doesn't really like these places and the only time he wasn't complaining was when you were doing your thing."

"I will go see some who's available" I said smiling "That's nice to ear and I'm glad your brother appreciated my dance but I really must get going."

"I'm sure if you saw my brother you would change your mind about going home but I get it. Have a good night and try to stay out of trouble Stacia."

"I doubt that, but I guess we will never know. Thanks for everything Elliot, and good luck with the wedding." _If I saw your brother I would change my mind, yeah right._

The only person who would change my mind about anything right now would be my… _No, no! Don't even go there and he's not yours._

I started to walk until my bosses room in the back of the club, Elliot did seem like a nice guy and I really felt good knowing that I was able to distracted his brother, but the night has been truly stressful for me and I could only think of my grey-eyed stranger even though I tried to fight that.

I wonder where he would be, possibly he already left. I wish I could see him again but maybe it's better if I don't get to. I need to rest tonight.

After telling my bosses what appended, they let me go. Its 3.30 so the night was almost over anyway.

I head to the lockers rooms and quickly change into some leggings, a large comfy sweater and some boots. I grab my hair and put in the top of my hair in a bun so that I'm able to take my make-up more easily, I don't ear many so that's something that's done in a minute time.

I got out of the club by the back door and walk slowly to my car trying to put in insight the events of the night. I don't really care about the almost-kidnapper although that really was a frightening experience. I know he probably wouldn't get away with it anyway, since we would have to go throw the security team, but it was awful nonetheless and to thing that so many women do not get to have my luck or be in some place where they are protected it's truly sad and I get a bit depressed while thinking about it but my mind always drive back to my stranger and nothing else seems to matter.

I didn't even know how I got home and not having the energy to undress myself I just fell on the bed and let my exhaustion invade me, soon I'm asleep wondering if I'm ever gonna see those mysterious eyes again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Christian P.O.V**

_On the other hand I really want to talk to her or even just touch her skin. I get in an impasse not knowing either to grab her or just let it go._

When I'm about to grab her shoulder some guy comes around and grabs it first, he pulls himself closely to her to say something and I wait for nothing more.

Clearly this was a sign I shouldn't get involved with this woman, so I turn on my heels and walk away from there not waiting to know if the guy knows her, what he wants or more importantly if she wants anything from him as well.

I couldn't stand how angry I got, just seeing someone else touch her skin. _She probably has dozen of men doing that to her every night! _I shivered at that thought; I just couldn't be here any more.

That woman got me bewitched, I mean she clearly must have done something otherwise I would never be so crazy over a stripper. A stripper, a god damn stripper. Just the word itself caused a nasty taste in my mouth, why couldn't she be a normal girl like a schoolteacher or a librarian or a nurse or whatever. _A fucking stripper?_ I can't be involved with someone like that, the nature of my relationships is already delicate as is, and it doesn't need to have more fuel to that.

No, I must stop thinking about her that way, no fucking hell I will ever be involved with her. I must just forget about this night, she's astonishing… _Fuck, no more thoughts of her Grey, don't you even dare!_

I got to our VIP section the fastest I could and instantly start looking for Elliot. I don't care what he says I'm leaving right now, I can't bear being here in the same space that she is and probably seeing her with a bunch of different men grinding on her, grabbing her ass oh! How incredible disgusting.

Great! Just when I need to get the fuck out of here before I commit any crazy action my brother decides to go missing. I bet he's probably hitting on some girl; he's kind of unstoppable in that matter. Not that he takes things any further, I mean he's going to get marry after all but he can't really stop himself from flirting with every piece of nice ass he's see.

I sit in some chair, passing my hands through my hair. I'm kind of getting desperate in here, my tie is killing me and my suit it's starting to get very warm, it's being unbearable.

I get up in a hurry and ask someone "Where the fuck is my brother?"

I ear somebody answering that he went to the bar and I quickly start to drive myself there. I'm sick of waiting, but as I make my way I stop in my tracks.

I can't really go there, that's where _she_ was and since I'm trying to get her out of my freaking head now is not really the time to went there again, I guess I just have to resigned myself and stay in my place while Elliot comes back.

I could definitely go and not say anything to him, he probably would do that to me if he where in my place but somehow I just can put myself to do that, do get down to that level. He is my brother and I do love him and this is his night, one of the few he got left before he's a responsible family man so I have to hold it and wait a bit longer.

Marriage, who would really want that? God, I wouldn't put myself through that, that's for sure. I like to be able to be in control of my relations, to keep the distance, to keep _a lot_ of distance to be precise. I'm not the flowers and hearts kind of guy, actually that kind of things leave me a nauseated. I resume my interactions with my women to sex, pretty much it's all I want – _and deserve Christian, that's all you will ever deserve – _and it's the only way I know how to communicate, fucked-up right?

Before my thoughts can wander any more my brother comes out of god-knows-where. I instinctively run to him to say I'm leaving.

"I can't stand to be here any longer, I'm sorry but I have to get going Elliot."

"You're a party-crusher just let me tell you that." He's kind of smiling so he's not that much upset "I guess I'm glad she went home too, otherwise she would have being bearing a night she didn't want to for nothing" he says the last part more to himself than to me and I don't understand a thing

"What the fuck are you talking about? Who's she?"

"Uh?" Elliot looks at me confused but quickly recovers "oh, I was just thinking to myself. I met that girl, the one that was dancing on the pole a bit earlier, you know? I told her to come here, but I guess after what happened she was just tired."

_If I know?!_ You must be kidding me, hell yeah I know!

"You met her? What the fuck happened? What are you talking about?" I was starting to get a lot frustrated not knowing what was going on.

"Don't worry; I had everything under control bro. I guess some guy approach her near the bar and wanted her to go with him to some hotel for… well you know what for, but she was refusing saying she didn't do that. He was being really persistent so I had to intervene."

That fucker! That must be the guy that grabbed her shoulder when I was there, fuck! If I had stayed there he wouldn't had been harassing her, he would loose all his teeth if he even thought about that twice!

If something had happened it would have been my entire fault, mine and my stupid jealousy that got the better out of me. She definitely shouldn't be working in a place like this; it's not safe at all.

Then it strike me "_she was refusing saying she didn't do that." _Elliot's words keep playing in my head, she doesn't do that! Of course not! She couldn't, she's not like the others around here. Hell, she's not like the others anywhere. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's just my prejudices taking and keeping me from get to her.

"Where is she? Is she alright?"

"Yes, I guess. Everything ended well. She must be on her way home by now."

I didn't even give my brother time to finish his sentence; I grab my things and immediately started to head to the exit.

"I have to go Elliot, talk to you later."

I rush through the doors, I'm not really sure if I wanna to do this or not but the thought that some guy might have hurt her… I can't just stand that; I need to make sure she is okay.

Suddenly I'm in the cold night and the breeze is wrapping itself around my tired body, I look insistently everywhere and at the end of the street I see a shadow, a female form in the middle of the dark. My heart starts to race so badly in my chest and I think it might explode.

I run, run the fastest I can manage trying to reach that figure and when I finally do I don't even think twice, I grab her arm turning her to me. All I can see is some hazel eyes, scared to death looking right at me.

"I… I'm so sorry. I thought it was some else." I felt a wave of disappointment wash throw my whole body, it wasn't her. I apologized the best I could and slowly walk back to the club entrance, ignoring completely the looks of the woman I just approach.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's not like me to go out running in the middle of the night, straddling strangers on the streets, getting myself worried over things that don't concern me. It's not like me at all; I need to get a hold on myself.

_Get a grip Grey, you're losing your mind over someone you don't even know the name. _The name! I forgot to ask Elliot for her name, he must know it if he talked to her. I ponder enter the club again to ask my brother her name, so that I can ran a background check on her like I usually do, maybe trying to demystify this woman.

After considering it for awhile I decide it's for the better not to do it, she got me crazy just like this I can't afford to give this girl any more power over me, who knows what I might even do then.

No, definitely that can't happen so it's just in my best interest if I never see her again. I'm never setting foot in this place again. I call Taylor to pick me up and within minutes he's in the front door of the club opening the door for me to climb in.

While getting home I decided to text Stephanie, I know it's late but I need to keep my mind distracted. I got some business to attend to this weekend so I told her that I wouldn't see her, but know I'm reconsidering my decision I need to distract myself from this eventful night.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject:** Change of plans

**Date:** March 31 2012 03:56

**To:** Stephanie Miller

Miss Miller, it's just to let you know to be prepared this weekend, I might need you after all.

Hope I don't wake you up and that you'll have a nice day until there.

Looking forward,

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I put my phone on my pocket and let go a huge breath I didn't even know I was holding. This night did not go at all as planned and this girl really needs to stay out of my head, I can't be distracted like this.

Probably I just need a good release to let go of this all situation, I don't have an appointment with Claude tomorrow but I need to let go some steam off so I'm gonna go to his gym, just to absorb myself from the world for a bit.

Yeah, that's a nice idea; I'll do it in the morning whenever I wake up, since tomorrow I decided to take the day off to prepare myself for my important and boring weekend of business and reunions.

It's only when I get to my bedroom that I realize how excruciating tired I am, I feel like my forces have left me so I just strip myself down to my boxers and let my body fall on the bed like a dead weight.

_I just strip myself._ I chuckled at the irony of that thought, really even when my conscience is begin to, my subconscious doesn't seem able to let go of that woman. I have to fight it I can't succumb myself to the power of some girl, even if she did look like an angel.

I feel myself drift to the sleep and even though I'm terrorized that my nightmares are coming to haunt me once again, tonight I can't fight the exhaustion I'm feeling so finally I let go.

I let go only to wake up a couple of hour's later, haunted yes but not by my normal nightmares. No this time was by an heavenly figure with the most mesmerizing big blue eyes capable of melting any cold heart, and they were looking at me… no, they were looking through me, seeing me all of me.

I wake up sweating all over, how can that even be possible? I have to stay away, I have to fight this urge this is bad for me, she seems capable of see my own soul. Do I have one? If I do, she's seeing through it that's for sure.

I can't let that happen but right now I can't think straight, I feel weak but I can't stop my own actions.

I pick up my phone and make the phone call I've been fighting, after ringing six times finally I got an answer.

"What the hell man? Why are you calling me right now I just got home, I need to sleep."

"I need to know something and don't you even dare asking me any questions, just answer and let go."

"What the… fine, what it is?"

"What's the girl name, the stripper?"

"I… Stacia."

"Thanks."

I hang up, maybe I will run a background check just to be sure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Anastasia P.O.V**

_I didn't even know how I got home and not having the energy to undress myself I just fell on the bed and let my exhaustion invade me, soon I'm asleep wondering if I'm ever gonna see those mysterious eyes again._

I wake up unsettled, actually I didn't even wake up since I never fully slept, this was one of the most restless nights I ever had and I have my share of them quite often.

Every time I tried to close my eyes I was haunted by another pair of them, by a merciless gaze that kept teasing and looking right past trough me. I almost could see pain underneath the desire, pain that could match my own.

That thought caught off guard and left me very nervous, obviously it was my subconscious adding emotions and interpretations towards something that in reality wasn't there. Yeah, it couldn't be, why would it be?

Probably it's just me so afraid and alone that and I'm starting to create imaginary layers so that I don't keep feeling so abandoned and frightened in the world.

Yep, all in my head. Don't start expectations where there's place for none. I'm feeling sick of these thoughts but I can't help to I get up from the bed as quickly as I can, running towards my leaving room. The moment I start to get close to the wall my vision becomes foggy from the tears forming in my eyes.

I just stop and stand, staring at the bigger picture that hangs in there. The pain it's so much to bear even after all these years, I wonder if it will ever go away. Probably not, I guess incidents like these ones scar you for life. I have the most unbearable feeling of nostalgia inside me and I can't take much more.

I instinctively flinch my eyes searching for another picture that can bright my day and when I finally found it, I can't hide my smile it always warms my heart looking at this photo, my only family. The only thing that separates me from absolute loneness, my sister. Well not really sister but that's just how I feel about Kate.

So when I see her lovely smile I know I don't have to face anything just by myself, she always helps me and most importantly she never judges. I'm really glad I still have her in my life, I guess I have one thing to be thankful for.

We've been best friends since elementary school, in reality I had, once, a very large group of friends trough out most of my teenage days but after the accident that changed so drastically every thing I knew and condemned my life I lose all of them and wasn't able to make new ones, mostly because I couldn't be a social butterfly anymore, to much pain was staining my heart but also because nobody believe in me nor did they support me in my struggle.

Kate on the other hand was the only one that never once doubted and always kept supporting me, even when destiny didn't allow us to go to university together… well that's life. She got her Journalism graduation almost two years ago and I'm so very proud of her.

Looking at us hugging in her high school graduation celebration made me miss her and since we didn't been that much connected I decided I should give her a call.

"Steele, thank god you're calling! I haven't heard from you in a while, I was starting to get real worried over here."

"Yeah, I have been kind of busy. You know, always trying to do something to get me distracted, but I really miss you, how have you been?"

"Ugh, I don't know… me and Aiden kind of been having problems, like _a lot_. I need to get out of my chest… when are you available busy woman?"

"Tomorrow? You know I don't work Sunday's evenings."

"I will see if I can make it work. Call you later confirming it, 'kay?"

"Sure. Talk to you later Kate, bye"

I hang up feeling a little better but as I put in perspective the previous night events I start to get nervous again, I still remember those eyes so well they could been here in my room looking at me. The eyes are what imprison me the most but the all package was breathtaking, the man was behind gorgeous. I will probably never lay eyes in a man like that again.

I definitely would not be surprise if I went to Greece and saw there a sculpture of him portraying some Olympus god, yep that would be much credible to me so handsome he was, but I really need to get that behind my back.

_Most likely you will never see him again! _Yes, it's true. Definitely for the better like that, the man appeared cold, distant even. Not that I know him or any his past, but I'm sure he's probably committed to some high society princess to go along with his charms so I need to leave it be.

Even if he did take an interest in me I'm sure it would be only physical, who am I after all? Just some stripper… _some stripper with a messy past._ It's better to leave like that; I'm really not ready to reminisce in my buried memories again, I already get a lot of that in my dreams _(more like nightmares)._

I was getting annoyed to be doing nothing and even though I'm exhausted I just couldn't bear to sit around and be inside my own head all goddamn morning, I already do that a lot and it's very tiring. I decide to work out, taking in consideration my profession I have to do that more times than any human being should be aloud to, but I understand the need of having a kickass amazing tone body so I just resign myself to that.

Actually I find it very therapeutic most times; it just helps me disconnect towards the worlds and I'm so appreciative of that, it's unspeakable.

I hoop on the shower, definitely need a very hot one and even though I'm trying so very hard to keep that mysterious man out of my thoughts he keeps coming in, stronger every time. I was truly fighting the urge but what the hell, who cares? Who will even know? I decide to please myself, I really need a release right now and masturbation sounds amazing to me in this moment.

I start fantasying about those eyes so full of desire rooming trough my body asking for my touch, slowly my own hands are moving up and down my thighs, cupping my breasts. I'm seeing his tongue licking his lips in approval and I squeeze my nipples, rolling them around my fingers letting the water fall down over me imagining his mouth on my entire body licking and biting me; as the biting gets harder my right hand slides to my so needing sex and starts to circling and pressure my clitoris while inserting delicately one finger in me, my walls clench to my touch while in my mind I'm doing nothing; it's that grey-eyed stranger who's touching me, caressing my skin, kissing my neck, squeezing my ass, I turn my front on the wall balancing myself with my left arm so that I don't collapse in the tub and I slip inside me another finger, this time circling them, pushing them in and out in an additive rhythm.

I'm so close, I shut my eyes down and bite my lip so hard until the only image I can form in my head is his eyes looking at me in the middle of my thighs while is tongue is stroking my center driving me insane. Oh, I'm moaning and my breathing it's getting really heavy, my fingers are so little I need two of them to ensure I can produce the feeling of fullness, and that's all I put in me. My two little fingers penetrating my pussy till I can't bear it anymore and I come all in my own hand, riding my waves of pleasure with only one pair of eyes in mind.

Definitely needed that, I'm feeling much lighter now. I continue to wash me carefree even though I licked my own fingers imagining it was my fantasy man tasting them, I kind of blush at that action, that was really naughty but then again no one is here to know and after my depressing morning that changed my mood.

Quickly changing myself into something comfortable, like some yoga tight pants and a simple white tank top, I pull my earphones and decide that I would be running to the gym, to refresh my head.

Once I got there I went to the little bar to grab something to drink and eat since my breakfast wasn't the most complete thing in the world. I decided to sit a bit, enjoying my muffin and orange juice just to get a rest before working literally by butt off. My personal trainer isn't available right now but I push myself to the limits even alone.

I'm there, drinking so ever calmly when suddenly my heart stops for a moment and starts to race so badly seconds after, I think it might explode in my chest. I can't breath, oh god where's the air when you need it?

_Fuck, fuck fucking fuck, jesus fucking christ, fuuuck…_ I think you get the point, big lots of fucks. The man is here; my fucking grey-eyed man is in here.

What should I do? Do I go talk to him? And say what, _oh hi how are you, you look hot, by the way I just masturbated this morning thinking of you._

No, not how are you_… more like who are you._

This can't be happening right now, I had made my peace to the fact that I probably would never see him in my life and surprise, surprise here he is looking straight at me. Should I ignore him? Yes, that's the better I can do.

I never once saw him in this gym, why now? Maybe he has been here lot of times and I just never noticed it. No, that's not plausible I would obviously noticing somebody like this man, he isn't exactly the type of going under the radar and judging by the looks of every female in this room, I would say I'm right.

I need to walk the hell away from him; he doesn't look like good news no matter how gorgeous the guy is… oh, so handsome and sweaty, I think I'm starting to melt.

_No no no missy!_ Let's not go there, now it's not the time, it's time however to walk the fuck out of here and don't even look back, it's your best interest to keep him away from you, _you have quite a baggage and relationships are not your forte_.

Yes, yes I need to remember that, just keep that thought present and maintain my posture while silently walk out of here.

Just when I'm decided to ignore him, our eyes lock and I'm glue to the spot. What do I do now, I can't move. _Fuck!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Christian P.O.V**

_I hang up, maybe I will run a background check just to be sure._

I couldn't sleep after that phone call, Stacia… _Stacia_ that name sounded odd and yet it drip smoothly out of my tongue like it was meant for me to pronounce it even if it wasn't real. It definitely suited such an uncommon woman a name like that, was she American? Maybe she's foreign, maybe she's from some east country in Europe, yes her stoic looks could backup an origin from there. She appear so royal, so superior, so incandescent and yet… a stripper.

She could be anytime in the world, she could even be a princess if she wanted to and no one would doubt that seeing her delicacy and skin tonality but no, that would been to easy on you _and nothing on your life can be simple you should understand that by now, better then one. _

My internal conflict drag itself for over and hour, this girl mesmerized me so much I can't seem to be able to concentrate in anything else but she sells her body, her own body to a bunch of strangers for a living how can I have a relationship with someone that does that?

I need to get anyway from these unfamiliar feelings I'm having, and I will. For now however I'm gonna background check her just to see if I can find something that turns me off and end this spell soon.

It's only seven in the morning but I can't wait any longer and soon I'm heading towards my office, calling Welch for his services. I know it's early and it's a weekend day but he's taking too long to answer and I'm getting impatient. I pay him exceptionally well so regardless of the days he needs to be ready to do his job, finally the answer comes.

"Welch I need you to do a background check. Immediately."

"Uhm… Sure sir, who should I be looking for?"

"Stacia"

"Stacia? I'm gonna need a bit more than that sir."

"That's all I got, it shouldn't be that difficult that's hardly a common name, but I suspect she works at some club you can start by there."

"Don't you know the name of the club sir?"

"I'm not sure, I guess it's something like 95 or 96 but that's your job to find out. Are you expecting me to do it for you Welch?"

"No of course not sir, I'm sorry. I'll be on it right away."

"Good, call me as soon as you know anything and I expect that to be very soon."

I hang up a bit more hopeful, of what? I don't even now that for sure but knowing I will know more makes me please. Finally I got the upper hand; I'm not used to being cornered nor do I like the feeling of it. Obviously I couldn't let any of my employees suspect that I'm related in any kind to a stripper, so I couldn't let it show that I know her.

I chuckled at that, _I can't show that I know her?_ That shouldn't be too hard since I don't fucking know her regardless of how intimal we are in my head. I believe I need a shower to clear my mind and that's exactly what I do.

Instantly I regret it, since the moment I step a foot in my shower and close my eyes, Stacia is the only figure forming behind my shut lashes. My cock starts to give away signs of life, getting so hard it's hurtful. I don't masturbate in so long I can't recall the last time I did it, I feel like a horny teenager with raging hormones unable to control them. Even though that's exactly want I am right now – someone unable to control my desires.

I see before me Stacia with the same eyes and the same gaze she had while performing, full of desire and passion calling for me pulling me close to her. She's wearing a little black nightgown, almost transparent, almost exposing her completely and yet it doesn't. It's covering her breasts and her behind, hidden them teasingly for my insistent gaze, I'm rooming trough the fabrics expecting them to disintegrate before my eyes. It doesn't though, it's her frail little hands that start to fulfill my wishes changeling me while pushing the vests out of her body. It's so slowly it's excruciating I want to touch it but I can't reach her, all I can do is watch.

And that's all I do, I watch as Stacia gets naked in front of me, looking expectantly trough her thick lashes so innocently yet so full of temptation, she licks her lips while her hand wander across her body driving me insane; I can't take this anymore so I start to grab my cock stroking it gently at first while admiring my muse, seeing her cupping her breasts, her so perfect and firm breasts pulling her own pink little nipples, biting her lip.

I start pumping me harder, squeezing till the bottom and rotating back until the top, the water is providing me a nice lubrication and I can only imagine what it would be like to have Stacia fluids in me, but she's still just before me, now stroking her own pussy, pushing one finger inside her while her thumb keeps circling her clit. That's so hot my own grip get's harder and harder and I can't find a fastest rhythm, Stacia starts to moan so loudly I barely can't take it anymore. I feel she's close to come and so I am, I stroke harder and instantly a wave of pure pleasure starts to form in my dick and quickly spreads to my all body, so strongly I lose my strength.

"Oh Stacia… oh I'm coming so hard for you… ah fuck… oh baby…"

_What the fuck?_ The moment my ecstasy vanishes away my mumblings become clear to me. _Stacia?_ Since when do I call the names of the woman when I'm coming? _Baby? _I can't even believe my fucking words, I don't use pet names they repulse me. What's wrong with me?

_Besides going overboard because of a stripper and masturbating in the shower thinking of her? _Oh god, my own brain is snapping at me, I really must be crazy. I need to distract myself from these thoughts, even though I hate to admit but I never felt so good after and orgasm like right now. I can't even stand to imagine what would be like the real thing.

_Oh Stacia, what are you doing to me._

When I'm fresh and clean my phone rings and I almost run towards it, would it be news about Stacia? I get to it as quickly as I can but unfortunately it's not whom I expect, instead it's a text from Stephanie saying she can't wait to be with be. _Of course not_, I think to myself smirking.

My mood changes however seeing her text, she's starting to get clingy, starting to ask more of me, of us and I can't stand it. Maybe I should end this… but it's better not, let's wait and see how the day goes by.

After taking my breakfast Welch call me and I flinch just looking at the ID, oh what information's will he bring, do I really want to know? Maybe it's better to keep this fantasy only in my head, it's safest at least…but I need to know something so I pick up.

"Grey."

"Sir I tried to get as much information as possible but… there's none."

"None?! How is that even possible?"

"I… I'm sorry sir, really there's a Stacia that works in a club, the 96 one but anything besides that is confidential. "

"Confidential? How can it be so, doesn't she have a passport, a driver license, some proof of existence?" I'm getting mad, real mad and frustrated if it wasn't Elliot the one informing on the girl's name I would think I'd be delirious.

"Stacia is a pseudonym sir. Any records on the girls that work in the club are kept by the owners there and they aren't in any server. I think they keep the information's in files, maybe at the office."

"What?! In what century are they? That… that's all you got?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful sir but there's nothing we can do besides see the records personally. Can I do anything else?"

"I see… no that would be all. If I need anything I'd call you then"

The rage inside me was so big I threw the phone against my desk so hard I got amazed at the fact that didn't disintegrated itself. How can that be, everything is out of my reach, out of my power _and I can't bear to feel powerless_.

Stacia is not her fucking name, she lied! I feel betrayed by her, she lied. It's a fucking fake name, a name she gives all her clients… yeah her clients, because that's who she is and that's what she does… she's a fucking liar stripper. I should it see it coming, obviously Stacia wouldn't be a real name.

It's not that I didn't think of that possibility it's just that the actual realization of that is… _is hurtful?_ Is that even possible? Now I really need Stephanie, I'm gonna spank her so hard until she can't walk anymore tonight and I feel better with myself. Yes, that will do.

I just have to put up with a dreadful afternoon of meetings and them I will find my peace, my true relive but it's only 8 in the morning and I need to keep me distracted from this, whatever it is so I decide to work out like I had planned to.

Since I know Claude it's not available for a private meeting at my house I decide to get to his gym, maybe some fresh air and new surroundings will help the time go by faster so I pick up my phone.

"Taylor, get in my office."

The efficiency of Taylor always strikes me when he's able to fulfill my commands quicker than any other person could, I most definitely picked the right man when I hired him, it might even be one of my best accomplishments.

"Good morning sir. What do you need?"

"I need to get to the gym, Claude's gym. Do you have the address?"

"Yes sir, I do have it. Should I take you there?"

"Yes, get everything ready while I dress myself."

"Right away. I will be waiting you in the car sir."

I went to my bedroom to put up some shorts and a t-shirt, my hair it's still dump from the shower but I don't even bother trying to fix it, and since I never really can I just leave it be. My beard is starting to show but I'm not in the mood of getting shaved, I will just go with this look today and I don't even care.

When I get to the Fitness&Wealth Club the place is not very crowed, internally I'm very pleased by that realization I can be in my own tranquility and not having someone smuggling my space. Getting out of that cold and empty house makes me feel better; I can hardly call it a home since I feel very little of comfort and peace in it.

An hour later my body is becoming tired due to the lack of rest and to my poor nourishment this morning, since is weekend Gail's not around and because I didn't plan on having Stephanie over I don't have anyone that can produce a decent and rich meal.

I realize that this place has a bar and I could really afford a break, I going very hard on myself this morning, normally I only push me this much when I'm around Claude, but that's most due to my male pride.

The bar is nice and full of people, precisely women. Does everyone come here before they work out? Maybe it's some meeting point for people with regular social life, _unlike you Grey_. Well, I much rather be alone and keep my business between my own self. Everybody stares at me while I enter the place, I don't care honestly, I'm used to have this kind of attention, female kind of attention but for the most part I ignore it and today it's not a nice day for any kind of flirtatious situation given my state of mind.

It's only when I'm heading to some random table dodging myself from the hungry stares I get, that I see her and I'm frown in the spot.

Could it be true? It's feels like a mirage to me, I'm not sure if my eyes are correct or if it's just my mind playing tricks on me after the sleepless night and the hardcore workout session. I blink in exasperation trying to get a sense of what's real and what's not and I guessing this pretty much it's true, it's Stacia.

_Stacia, _the fucking lying stripper, I instantly feel rage boiling in my pores even though the look on her face is of complete surprise, one that could match my own. So I see she does recognize me and surely wasn't expecting to find me in here. Well _Stacia,_ neither did I.

Her beauty strikes me hard once again; my thoughts did her no justice in that matter in fact I think she looks even more beautiful than last time, without any makeup or slutty clothes. Yes, she's more divine in the most mundane piece of clothing and with a ponytail that in any other vestment she could have. That's hard to swallow, that someone can look this good this simple.

Should I go talk to her? _She's a fucking liar_! Thinking more closely she didn't even talk to me let at least lie… _No Grey, that's just your dick talking! _Yeah… maybe I should just fuck the girl and leave it to rest probably that's what this is all about. I just need to do that and break free from this trance I'm in.

_How are you gonna do that, did you forget you don't just fuck like a normal person? _god, my mind it's really working against me today and probably I should listen to that, I'm always a rational individual and I perceive that as an undoubtedly quality of me.

Before I can think any further our eyes lock and those insane blue oceans called for me like a siren, without even knowing I'm walking towards her, she's like a mermaid capturing me with her signing to the depths of the sea, sinking me, drowning me from my whole life.

Yes, she's a mermaid and she's enchanting me, there couldn't be more precise words to describe what's going on in my head but before I got any change to understand what's really going on outside of it, I'm standing in front of her table with my surprised stripper eying me admired and… _frighten_? Could that be it? Maybe she's feeling like me.

That though busted my confidence and now, standing in front of her I can't back down.

"Is this seat available?"

"I don't see anyone sitting in there so I suppose it is." _Oh, sharp little tongue, aren't we? _I smirk to her.

"Well, then I will take it."

"You're kind of stating the obvious here, but I'm about to leave so…" she almost snaps at me.

Well, well, well look who's so feisty. I normally hate women like that but I have to admit it I'm kind of turn on by her big mouth; I can't let her leave now that I eared her melodic voice so I need to keep her in her place.

"Oh, you won't keep me company?" I play hurt, but in reality I feel desire fuming trough my eyes.

"I… well…" she's biting her lip very hard while arranging her thoughts, just like my fantasy, I'm starting to be real excited and my arousal is getting somewhat evident, she finally breaks my train of thoughts "I don't think that would be appropriated sir."

_Sir?_ Did she call me sir? She almost whispered that last word but I can swear I eared her saying it and my cock instantly twitches in my boxers; I really can't let her go away now.

"Why would that be so?"

She blushes at that question and I wonder why, she produces a shy and mysterious smile upon her lips. Is she having inappropriate thoughts about me? I definitely have some sort of effect on her and I really want to push and see where it goes.

"You… I don't even know you" she finally lets it out but I'm pretty sure that was not the motive she was thinking.

"You are right, let us rectify the situation. I'm Christian Grey." I present myself extending my hand for her to take it. Well let's see what name you have today, _Stacia._

She hesitates in taking my hand but eventually succumbs, touching me with her frail fingers. I instantly feel and electric jolt trough my body and I paralyze for moments. _What the fuck was that?_ Before I can delay on it any longer, she takes her hand away from me placing it on the table.

"I'm Stacia, nice to meet you." She appears to be realizing something, given the expression in her face.

_Maybe she's realizing she's a lying little bitch_. This woman is lying, lying to my fucking face. _Stacia_, I know that's not your name _liar_. I instantly become mad.

"Just Stacia?" she nods with her head "That's rather uncommon, I would even think you're lying to me." I let my rage show in my voice and my words come out very harsh.

"Well maybe I am. I guess we will never find out." She snaps back and I'm thrown away, this girl is answering back, to me!

"I do have a way of finding out things." I whisper that like a threat and she better be taking it as one since I don't like to play games and specially to be lied to.

"That's very presumptuous. Why would someone go around finding things that really aren't of their business?" This girl is really starting to get on my nerves, who do she thinks she is, talking to me like this way.

"To have the upper hand, _Stacia_." I state angrily, spiting her fake name to her.

"And why do you want that, are you a control freak?" now she's really knock me out, _who the fuck is she?_ I would spank the hell out of you, you wouldn't even be able to walk for a month, and then you'd see who the control freak is.

"It depends on your perception of what a control freak is."

"So far you fill my perception very nicely." I'm getting real pissed in here, she's pulling my every nerves.

"Now who's being presumptuous?"

"A tit for a tat, I think it's only fair." _Oh, now you want fairness_.

"Interesting… where was that thought when I told my real name and you invented one for yourself?"

"You should be glad I gave you something to address me for!" She appears angry herself and that only upsets me more.

"Oh, I see. Like the same thing you give your clients to call you while you grinding on them?"

A look of shock and hurt flashed in her beautiful eyes but quickly they were replaced by and evident fuming rage.

"A name can carry a lot of history and if it's up to me you will never know mine, you don't deserve it!" I could swear I saw her eyes glittering while she was saying that, tears perhaps? Before I can even process that she gets up and walks out of the place in a rush leaving her unfinished food on the table.

So I will never know your name? I don't deserve it? _I don't fucking deserve it?! _We'll see about that, clearly you don't know me Stacia, but _I'm Christian Grey and I always get what I want_. Instantly I pick up my phone I'm going to rectify this and not only will I know your name, I'll think of a way of punishing you.

"Taylor I need you to go to the club 96, find out who's the owner and arrange a meeting with them; I. Want. That. Immediately."

_Let's see your history now, Stacia. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Even though I do not celebrate it I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving, hope you all have fun and enjoy your day :)****  
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**I also want to thank you for reviewing and I know this chapter is a bit longer but I just couldn't bring myself to end it sooner.**

**Anastasia P.O.V**

_"A name can carry a lot of history and if it's up to me you will never know mine, you don't deserve it!" I rushed out of there with tears forming in my eyes._

I know I give him some attitude first, but… _but why Ana?_ Why did you have to be such a fucked-up person? I knew I didn't have any reason to behave like that but in the back of my mind or heart – I'm not quite sure – I let my fears get the best of me. And either I had an attitude or I'd melt in front of the man, and I definitely didn't want to melt in front of him the first time we met. Christian Grey, he's my mysterious handsome stranger – so he is the brother of that other guy, Elliot. As soon as I heard the name I knew it was somewhat familiar but everything after there just went downhill's.

How could he be so mean? I know I'm nothing to him and that clearly he despise my profession but saying something like that; how could he not tell that I'm can't give him my name? How could he not understand that my pseudonym is my safeguard and that I can't jeopardize my security for someone I barely now… and I just can't, I can't give away my feeling of safeness, my own protection without trust. Oh, what a despair! And to think that I imagine what would be like to be in some kind of relationship with this man I'm feeling so ashamed of myself, apparently he only wanted to talk to me to get me humiliated.

He knows nothing yet he judges like everybody else, I should had just stick with my guts and realize that he's like all the others, the others that frequent the club; I should had let it be and never give it a second thought but my subconscious had to crack and let that man gaze enter my head, my dreams… damn it!

I left the gym without even workout with my hands a little shaky; I ran here so my only options are to wander nearby or go home but the picture of my lonely house, the emptiness that I feel while there… no, now I couldn't take it I'd go nuts being all by myself. I need to keep the air flouting in my lunges so I must go somewhere nice, yes, nice peaceful and with other human beings around.

I decide to sit in the park that's in the middle of the way between the gym and my house, sitting on a bench near the lake trying to recollect my thoughts. Even though my meeting with Christian Grey didn't went at all like I would dreamt it would, I'm glad I didn't crack and didn't aloud him to walk all over me. Clearly the guy is used to get everything he wants right away and how could I blame him?

He emanates power and authority with his very presence and those looks, I can most definitely understand why it's so easy for him go achieve whatever he wants just by cracking his knuckles, so surely I can't be that surprise that he didn't fight for it right?

I'm just glad that I steak to my ground. If he could afford to be rude and angry while talking to me then so could I! He's no better only because he got money – witch I don't know but assume, so if he isn't used to people answering back at him that he should because I'll not backing down. If he wants me he will have to fight for it.

_If he wants you? _Where did you ever get that idea, I think the message transmitted through out your encounter is explicit: _he doesn't give a shit about you_. You're a stripper Ana and he's a hotshot kind of guy, with probably thousand of women throwing themselves at his feet. And he doesn't have to move a finger to get them, so why in hell will he go through any kind of trouble for you?

Yeah, I got the picture pretty clearly. Christian Grey is not only out of my league but incredibly disgusted and angry with me and that's just what I get from being a smart-ass.

In reality I knew all along we could never workout, but a girl can dream and I can't help but feel a strong sentiment of disappointment and sadness in my heart. Now I only need to get used to that and move on with my life.

Just with that thought in mind my phone ringed and my heart skipped a beat; could it be him? Could it be my handsome grey-eyed man? I decided I should just erase our meeting from today and keep only the memory of him yesterday night at the club. That way he will still be _my _mysterious, unnamed and handsome grey-eyed man. I smile at this revelation, this was the best I could do.

Of course it wasn't him, how could it be? He didn't even have my phone number but in a delusional moment I thought it might be possible. Seeing the ID I let a sigh out and answered it.

"Yes?" my voice was still shaky but I manage to produce some audible sound

"Ana, are you okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I'm just tired, I was working out" I didn't feel like delaying in the subject anymore so I lied.

"Oh god! You guys workout more than anyone should, is that even healthy? Anyway… I was calling to tell you that tomorrow I need to go to some snobby party and I really can't get away with it, I need to make some acquaintances for daddy's company, you know… so I was thinking you could come with me."

"I don't think so, I totally get that you have to work Kate but you said it yourself, it's a snobby party and I don't think I would fit in."

"By don't fit you mean you're not a stuck up bitch? Then I totally agreed but beside that there's no reason why you shouldn't go along pretty well. And common Steele, I need you there."

"Um… I don't think that's a good idea"

"Oh please! I really need to get my head out of the problems I'm having with Aiden and what better way there is if not by going to a party with my girl? Besides we only have to stick around for a while and if you want, then we can leave."

"You're really persistent aren't you? To spear myself from you're constant pleas, alright. I will go if I can find something appropriated to wear."

"With your killer body that shouldn't be hard Ana, anything looks good on you I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but then it's settled. The party it's at 8.00 pm so I expect you at my place around 4, for us to have time to do the makeup and hair. Love you, bye"

And with that miss bossy ends our conversation but maybe she's right what we both need is just a good distraction from the problems we're facing. Even though I'm not that much looking forward to this event I'm glad I have something to entertain myself with today, I just have to go home to exchange clothes, get a good meal and then I'll have all afternoon to search for the perfect dress, or at least for one remotely acceptable.

While in home I tried to be as fast as I could because I knew if I stay there too long I'd just analyze and overthink everything and I really didn't wanna ruined the numbness that my mind was in so I did all of that in a hurry, changing to some comfortable jeans and cute shirt and getting out of there as quickly as I could manage.

Once again free air: it felt smoothing and calming and I was definitely ready to do a little shopping spree. I usually never spend big quantities of money on… on anything, but today I felt like giving myself a treat. I do receive a fair amount of money given my profession but I don't plan on doing this for the rest of my life so I need to keep some money in store to be able to rebuild my life and break to new things when I get the opportunity for it.

The afternoon went by like a breeze and I ended up feeling incredibly well, it's true I spent more money in one outfit then ever have in my life but apparently it was worth it since it gave my mood a 180 degrees change.

It's time to work and I'm at the front door of the club at 10.30 pm. I chuckle at the unoriginally of the name, after all this time I'm still amazed at how they couldn't come up with anytime more appealing for the damn place. I sigh before I come in; I hope this night can be easy on me.

"Oh Ana, where were you last night baby? You missed out some really hot guys, I swear I never seen such good looking men."

"Yeah, I hope they come again even if is just for the eye candy"

Jessica and Kat giggle recalling some guys that apparently were here last night and I shivered at the thought; I'm almost sure I know who they are talking about, I guess I wasn't the one noticing my handsome grey-eyed man but than again, someone like that it's hard to go unnoticed.

"I went home earlier but I believe I did get to see who you guys are talking about." I said forcing a smile on my face.

"They were both easy on the eye but that one with the copper brown hair, he was mouthwatering I hope as hell, he comes here again. Yesterday I was busy but next time I will get rid of whoever and offer him my services" Angie says winking at us, she's really beautiful with straight light brown hair and amazing hazel eyes, always sparkling. I wonder if Christian would like to have her _services._

_Of course he would, she's gorgeous and not a complete mess like you. _That thought hurt me but I push it aside, Christian wasn't mine. The only thing that belonged to me was the memory and the dreams of the unknown grey-eyed man I laid eyes on last night.

"I heard he was rude to Brit but the other one was really nice to everybody."

"I don't care I'd have it rough with him anytime" Angie was laughing but I know she was serious, would he like it rough?

I must really stop thinking about him, it's none of my concern and I can't let get to me this way. I finished dressing myself with my practically non-existence clothes putting on my red sparkly pumps and went by the mirror to apply some makeup. I decide to go with mascara, some smooth blush to give my deadly pale face some color and a dark red lipstick – I guess I was in need of feeling sexy.

Just when I was about to go out the lockers Angie comes up to me, pulling me to the side.

"Hey Ana, you talked to one of those guys yesterday… the blond one, didn't you?" she almost whispered but I heard her perfectly.

"Who, Elliot?" I asked confused without even thinking.

"Elliot what?"

"Um… Grey I believe, why?"

"Did he tell you the name of the other one?"

"No, we didn't talk about him" _liar, he told you he wanted you to meet his brother ._Only if I knew then…

"Oh, that's okay. I heard some girls saying they were brothers so it shouldn't be that hard to track him down now that I have his last name, you know just in case he doesn't show up again."

"Why… why would you wanna do that?" I gulped.

"Because I'm interested in him! Anyway thanks Ana, you were a great help." She says while walking away.

_Yes, great help Ana with hooking up Christian with other girl! _Would she find him? Oh, I hope not I really don't want to imagine him being with another girl, especially one arranged by me.

Even with that unpleasant thought in the back of my mind the night went smoothly, no one to harass me inappropriately, no one to almost kidnapped me and most importantly no grey eyes to haunt me.

It's already 5 in the morning when we closed up everything. After getting off the lockers Jack asked for us all to sit around and wait for him; apparently he wanted to tell us something important; so here we here all dressed casually looking like regular presentable women, tired till the bones.

"Well ladies, thank you for waiting. I know we are all tired and want to go home but I need to let you know something before you can go." Jack is a middle age man still reasonably attractive and with a good eye for business, he's one of the owners of the club. The other one is Thomas, some big shot, to big to even come by and see how things are – I guess he's a silent partner with interest only in the income.

Jack proceeds with his speech, "I don't want to destroy you're day off and to get y'all worried but I need to let it be known that starting from this Monday there's gonna be some changes and, I'm truly sorry to say it, but some firing as well. We're renewing the club and its staff."

_What?_ How can that be? Will I be out of job? Fuck, and especially now that I went and spend all that money in one dress. Oh jesus, things really aren't going good for me. We all gasped at this news and stay there in shock, hoping to get some more information on what's exactly going to happen to us but instead we just got a dismissal and an annoyed stare from Jack.

"Now now, common girls, I want to go home. I can't tell you anymore, I'm just saying this so it doesn't land on you as a complete shock when it happens but we all got move on with our lives so please just get up and leave, I wanna do the same."

How could he not understand? This is our job, our income, the only way we have to be sustainable in life, to take care of ourselves, of our family… This is horrible, I aliened myself from the rest of the girls but I'm still able to hear them crying and gasp in shock and anger, I can't blame them. I don't now what I'm gonna do if I'm fired, I'm terrified and alone in the world, what if I can't get any other job? I have no one to go to, except for Kate but I can't be landing on her shoulders every time my life gets a drastic change and I certainly don't want to be a burden forever.

I can feel tears forming in my eyes but I refuse to cry until I get home and even once there, I violently shut them down. No, I won't cry over this; I faced other aversions on my life things far more complicated and painful than this so no way I'm gonna crack under this news. Nope, I guess I will only have to start searching for another job.

I fall asleep determined to be strong.

XXXX

Finally I was ready, I sighed before turning myself to the mirror, I better be looking extremely good since this dress can possible be my first and last stupidly-expensive-purchase.

"Oh my god!" I hear Kate behind me, scream.

And _oh my god indeed_, I didn't even recognized the image reflected in the mirror before me, I'm thrown away I didn't know I could look this good.

"Ana… you're breathtaking, my… I'm even speechless!"

"Then I must be really stunning" I say playfully, Kate without words is really a remarkable moment, but I can't blame her, I'm pretty speechless myself.

I considered call Kate and cancel our plan for today, but after some deliberation I realize if I stayed home I'd only feel worse, things aren't clearly going my way right now so a party and some fun are truly welcomed and looking at my reflection, I'm sure I made the right choice.

I'm sizzled in a gorgeous, silver and gold fully sequined gown, with a plunging neckline and a thigh-high slit. I have on some black and gold strappy heels and a simple pair of silver earrings, my hair is loose in soft waves that fall all the way around my back; the makeup I have on is somehow dewy and very discrete, only having a darker shade around my eyes making stand up and appear even bigger and brighter.

I smile a genuine happy smile and for the first time in what seems like ages, I feel wonderful.

"Well are you ready to go Steele?"

"I am, you look amazing yourself Kate." She pretends she doesn't know that already and produces a fake shy smile mouthing a thank you, with a wink.

"You ladies are all set?" Ethan enters the room, he's Kate brother and I know him since a child as well, he doesn't oppose to the flow of the group and looks stunning himself with a very fit grey suit and a black tie.

"Damn Ana you look…" he doesn't get to finish his sentence instead just stares at me letting his eyes wander around my whole figure. I could say Ethan is pretty easy on the eyes himself and that might be an understatement.

"Oh, just stop drooling Ethan. Common Ana let's go. There's only so much lateness that's fashionable, anything besides that is just plane rude."

Kate gives herself one last look in the mirror admiring her own sparkling black full-length gown, with a killer neckline and black crisscrossed leather straps all across the back. She has her strawberry blonde hair held on into a bun and a simple pair of diamond earrings, she was truly beautiful.

XXXX

It had already been two hours after we arrived at the party and ever since we set foot in here I can't seem to stop receiving compliments and attention, truly unwanted attention. Everybody seems to want to know who I am, where I am from and particularly what I do, I'd have no problem letting all this people know that I'm a stripper but I don't want to embarrass Kate or bring any shame to her family and her fathers' company since they are the most close thing I have to family of my own so I just started to shove off myself from this crowd.

Kate is busy establishing connections with everyone and I lost Ethan of my sight a bit after entering the party, I'm sure his working as well around here. He said he wanted us to have a drink later on and even though I nod in agreement to his suggestion, I don't think is such a good idea since I perceive him more as a brother then anything else.

After deliberating for a while I change my mind and decide that I do need to feel something and since Mr. Christian Grey ruined somehow my confidence, maybe something with Ethan may be what I need to move on. I was determined to accept this thought but after seeing Ethan looking out for me in the middle of the saloon I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It just doesn't feel right.

This isn't going how I planned at all so I went hiding in the bar, hoping time would fly by.

The pressure of this evening and the events that occur these last few days got me to drink my sorrows away and maybe I pushed the limit to much this time, since I'm starting to feel really drunk.

Without even realizing or understanding how, I look up from my empty glass to see that familiar grey stare, eying with fury in it. _Oh great, just what I needed to end up my week, more pain._

Mr. Christian Grey, hotshot in person is standing in the opposite side of the bar looking at me, he's truly a wonderful sight and seeing him with this black suit and grey tie got me feeling things I probably shouldn't given the situation. It should be illegal to be this gorgeous and I just giggle at the thought of Christian being arrested and condemned for being to much hot.

He walks slowly towards me stopping only a few inches away, I try to maintain eye contact with him. I can't show him that I'm weak, I can't show that I'm not able to stand up to my ground; but his gaze is so cold and judgmental that I can't take, so I blur something and hope that I'm still in conditions of speak like a regular person.

"Look if it isn't Mr. Hotshot himself" and then I giggle again remembering my previous thought of this man behind bars.

"Are you drunk?"

"Are you always this blunt?"

"Yes, I am. Now tell me what have you been drinking?"

"That's none of you concern" I got angry at his rudeness so I got up planning on leaving him there.

"I believe it is."

Before I got to protest to anything hotshot grabbed my arm and took us to some terrace with access to the garden at the back of the house and if I wasn't so tipsy I'm sure this beautiful sight would have me mesmerized. Once we got there the interrogation proceed.

"Are you here with someone?"

"Why do you care?"

"Answer me!" His voice was low and rough but it demanded an answer, he truly exhales power.

"Yes… Kavanaugh…" It's all I manage to say.

"Ethan?! He's your date?" There's a look of disbelieve and anger in his face and I'm confused by his question, my brain it's not working properly with all the alcohol.

"What? I'm with Kate" I could swear I saw his features soften but my vision is a bit turve so I can't be sure.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"This is an important company party and I'm a CEO so I guess it's logical. What about you_?_"

"Oh, I see and because I'm stripper it's not logical for me to be here, is that it?" I snapped, how could one man make be so angry?

"Yes, that's exactly it _Anastasia._" What? How could he even know my name? That's not possible… it can't be, this can't be happening.

I didn't get to answer back, I don't know if it was for the alcohol or just the sadness that I felt when he said my name like that but I burst into tears, all the latest events were starting to skink in and couldn't get a hold on myself. I just wanted to crumble to the floor and laid there in a ball until I got no more tears to shred.

Between the tears I manage to gain strength to walk the hell away from this party and this man, but before I could actually do that Christian grabbed my wrist and didn't allowed me to go.

"Let go of me!" I protested violently but only manage to get his grip tighter and my cry stronger. "Please let me go I can't bear to be more humiliated, just let me be." It was all I manage to get out of me.

I lower my head to the ground if he doesn't want to let me go then that's all I can do; I'm ashamed as it is I can stand for him to be seeing me like this.

"I'm sorry" He whispers, pulling me towards him and before I can even realize his hands are cupping my face and his lips are crashing mine, moving possessively and demanding my own, kissing me with a depth of passion? Well I don't know if it was passion but if definitely that catch me off guard.

He trapped me against the wall and a croaky moan comes out of me embodying my frustrations and despair. Immediately his tongue takes possession of my mouth, invading all of me and soon we start a battle for domination, with my tongue moving along with his; his breath got heavier and he clutched my hair while pressing his body over mine.

"I. Am. So. Sorry." And that was the last thing I heard.

* * *

**Just wanna tell you guys to not get your hopes up because even though this happened, Christian is still gonna be a jerk. Eventually he will make it up for it, but for now he's still pretty angry at this whole situation. But I guess you'll just have to wait and see :P**


	8. Chapter 8

"_Mr. Hyde, nice to meet you. I'm Christian Grey." _

"_I know who you are and please don't take this the wrong way Mr. Grey, but what are you here doing?"_

"_I'm in need of information. One only you can give me."_

"_Oh… I see and what will that be?"_

"_I need to know the name of one girl that works in your establishment."_

"_Well, that's easy Mr. Grey. I think I have here some photos of the staff. You just point me who's the girl and I'll tell you."_

"_Yes, it's easy indeed. But I want the real name."_

"_Oh… I understand… You see, Mr. Grey that I cannot give you."_

"_How's that so?"_

"_Mr. Grey I'm sure you more than anyone understand that trust is everything, especially in this business. My girls depend on me to keep them safe and provide their real names to clients put them at risk. I can't jeopardize that, I need my staff fully happy and comfortable while working in here."_

"_You're right I understand that, but I hope you understand as well that the proposition I'm gonna make you, can't be refuse."_

A soft moan erupt me from my thoughts, the yesterdays' events are displaying themselves in my head and even though I'm almost sure I'm crazy for doing what I did, I can't help but feel like I won. Finally I'm in control again.

I look down to the head that's moving frantically around my hips.

"Faster, I want to come."

Stephanie tries to lock her gaze on mine, giving me a small nod of understanding while swallowing more of my erect cock. I divert my own gaze instantly, I don't want nor need to look at her while blowing me, though the sight of it is incredibly erotic in this moment all I can see are two big and bright blue eyes staring right back at me.

I can't seem to be able to push this girl out of my mind even now that I have what I wanted. Ana-_stasia_. _So this is your name, not far from the fake one._ Still uncommon, still intriguing.

I spent all day and night analyzing her information, every single detail it's now burnt on my memory. Anastasia Rose Steele. That's my liar stripper, the one haunting not only my night dreams but apparently my daydreams as well.

Even now, I have a girl sucking my dick and all I can do it's portraying her, on her knees doing the exact same thing but with… _her_ mouth.

I didn't see her again since her outburst the gym yesterday morning and since then our little chat craved my thoughts. There hasn't been one moment where this girl face hasn't crawl up my mind and immediately I'm fulfilled with rage. Rage towards her, her lying habits, her life enigma and her way of keeping herself in my head. She definitely has it coming.

XXXX

I adjust my tie to what appear be the twentieth time this night and sigh. I'm at the door of an incredible big mansion, heading towards an incredible dull party thrown by Robert Kavanaugh, the owner of some media companies. He owns a television station, a journal and other things which I don't care, but we manage to keep good business about the publicity of my company so I have to put up with these annoying celebrations.

I honestly don't even know why they throwing this party but I guess they don't need a specific reason for it. Once I set foot in the grand hall and I start to hear the amount of noise I coming from the salon I regret to even come here. I could be with Stephanie in my playroom right now.

I walk in direction of the sounds that are echoing through the house immediately impersonating my CEO façade – polite, assertive, authoritarian and heart-breaking. I start to hear people calling my name and without even scrutinize their faces I shake their hands, smile and walk away.

I was doing perfectly fine until I heard a squeal behind me and turning on my heels, I'm greeted by Katherine Kavanaugh. She's been incessantly trying to book an interview with me since a couple of years now, but I was always successful at declining the requests. She made me uncomfortable, she seemed to never stop talking and I couldn't stand people like that.

Unfortunately for me in this moment I had no place to run and I needed to confront the situation so I gave her my most gracious smile.

"Miss Kavanaugh, what a pleasure."

"Mr. Grey" she said blushing "I don't know if I believe that, seeing that way you dodge my requests for an interview every time."

"I'm a busy man Miss Kavanaugh, I rarely manage to have free time."

"I understand that better than no one Mr. Grey but in the course of two years you didn't have a break?" Here we go with inquisitions, god she's annoying.

"Like I said, it's so rare for me to have free time that I can't even recall."

"Well, we're both here now so why don't we reschedule a meeting or we could do it now as you prefer Mr. Grey."

"You're here in a party, I most surely don't want to interrupt your fun with business."

"Don't worry about that, I'm here on duty. You wouldn't be interrupting anything in fact you'd be helping my work."

I was trying hard to figure out a way of escaping from this when someone calls her out of the crowd. When the person comes close I able to see that's Ethan Kavanaugh, her brother. I don't know much about the guy, but I'm utterly thankful to him from taking the spotlight from me.

"Kate, have you seen Ana? I've been looking for her a while now, I can't find where she is."

Who's Ana I don't know but I guess I'm thankful to her too because Katherine plastered a worried expression in a her face and give me the perfect cue to leave.

"I see you have more pressing matters to deal with Miss Kavanaugh, I wouldn't want to keep you from them. We definitely need to reschedule that meeting. Have a nice night" I said walking away; I didn't even give her time to answer as I merge myself in the sea of people.

I needed to stay in a low profile, I couldn't afford to bump into Katherine again I know she wouldn't let me go this time so I decided to head to the bar, I could drink something, relax a bit and then make my exited.

Yes, that's a good idea or so I thought until I got there. In the bar sitting alone in a chair was _my stripper_, radiant as I never saw her and I believe me when I say that I didn't know she could be even more beautiful. How wrong I was, she looked beyond words and I gasp at her sight. Her dress fitted perfectly her body and had and amazing cleavage that reveal her lovely and generous bosom. I start to feel hard just looking at her, she must be the most gorgeous woman at this party. I'm speechless.

_Snap it Christian, you're drooling over her, a stripper that lied to you. _I stiffened at this thought and began to feel angry at myself for letting someone have this affect on me. I didn't know what to do but when she looked up and locked her eyes on mine and I saw her surprised expression I couldn't help but walk towards her.

XXXX

I dragged her to the terrace of this house, I didn't want to make a scene in front of everybody and I couldn't afford to have someone recognizing her and her profession and connection her to me. I felt like a bastard for it but I had to keep my privacy and my life as closed as possible and I definitely didn't want or need a scandal.

"Are you here with someone?" I asked immediately, I needed to know if she was here with a date, jealousy spreading through me faster than I could realize.

"Why do you care?" Is she gonna start being coy in me, _I have to know this._

"Answer me!" I say excruciatingly low and yet with a tone that leave no other option than to do as I say.

"Yes… Kavanaugh…" She blurts out, I blink twice and I feel real fury invading my body. _Ethan? Fucking Ethan Kavanaugh?! _Is she the Ana he was looking for?

"Ethan?! He's your date?" I'm shocked and angry at the same time.

"What? I'm with Kate" Oh, the annoying Katherine. I exhale deeply, released rooming through me.

"What are you doing here?" I needed to understand how come she ended up in here.

"What are _you _doing here?"

"This is an important company party and I'm a CEO so I guess it's logical. What about you?" I answered frustrated that she's was avoiding my questions.

"Oh, I see and because I'm stripper it's not logical for me to be here, is that it?" She snapped back at me and it got me angry again seeing her attitude.

"Yes, that's exactly it _Ana-stasia._" I said bitterly her name for her to understand that I can't be played around and she can't make a fool out of me.

I waited patiently for her outburst but instead I started to see her eyes getting watery and her lower lip shaking. What's happening is she going to cry? Immediately after the thought occur me, tears began falling from her eyes.

She is crying! Crying! I can't stand to see women cry it just upsets me and specially watching Anastasia's tears fall down her cheeks like that. She appear so vulnerable, so fragile and yet so damn beautiful. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were shining like diamonds, these tears could be crystals. Precious crystals, all thrown away because of me.

Anastasia tried to run away from here, from me and even though my brain was telling me to let her go and spear her from the pain I was causing, my heart just couldn't bare the though of seeing her walk away, not in this state at least. She already did that yesterday in the gym and watching her run far away from me make me acted like a crazy person, if she does that again I won't control my actions.

So the only thing I manage to do is grab her arm and hold Anastasia in her place; she's so close to me I can smell her scent, oh! How can it be so intoxicating? Its additive and I feel myself pulling her close to me so I can feel it more intensely.

"Let go of me!" She protested violently, erupting me from my thoughts. "Please let me go I can't bear to be more humiliated, just let me be."

What I am doing? How I can hurt her like that, it's not my place to make judgments or to be embarrassed, she's not mine and yet if it was… I know nothing.

"I'm sorry" I want to make that statement loud and clear but only made it sound like a whisper, I'm feeling like shit so I decide to apologize the only way I know I'm gonna be firm. In an instinctive and a predatory move I pull Anastasia to my chest cupping her lovely face with my hands and crash my lips on hers.

I can't hold back anymore, my mind isn't thinking straight. _Clearly._ But just the smell of her makes me crazy and it's like my body has a mind of its own, or desires. Definitely desires. Anastasia lips are so full and soft; I can't help to kiss them possessively hoping that she'd reciprocate and to my surprise and relief she does, she kisses me too with _passion_? Can it be passion what I'm feeling?

Anastasia let's out a guttural moan and it couldn't have embodying my frustrations any better. My tongue slid inside her warm mouth, invading every ounce of hers. Immediately her tongue reaches mine, fighting for dominance.

This was too much to bare, how come I feel like I have a cable wire passing electricity in my body? I'm in absolute disbelief that I'm feeling this and we're just kissing. _Just fucking kissing_ and I almost come in my pants, like a fucking teenager.

I can't control it though, instead pressing even harder my body against hers in a desperate way to gain more friction, more contact, more _her_.

"I. Am. So. Sorry." Is all I manage to say but the moment the words are out of my mouth I feel her body shiver and become limb, her tongue stills and her arms drop to her sides lifeless.

"What the…" I back down slowly not releasing her body completely only to find out that she's passed out, on my arms. "Fuck!"

"Taylor, I need you right now at the back of the house." I barked over the phone.

God, how many drinks did she have? A million thoughts were running through my head in this moment, how come this is happening, how come I wasn't able to see the state that she was in? _That's because you were more worried about trapping her to a wall and rub your erection on her vulnerable body_.

Fuck me! I'm disgusted at myself at this very moment, how low of me to be imposing something like that at someone unequivocally wasted out of their mind. It's not appall enough that's I'm chasing a stripper now I'm forcing her to take me. I'm so furious I can't even think straight.

I held Anastasia in my harms until Taylor comes along, running towards me with a worried expression in his face. _Yeah, no shit you're standing here all flustered in the middle of a terrace with an unconscious girl in your arms._

I shake all thoughts of my head, now it's not the time to scowl myself I need to think clearly. Where am I gonna take her? I have her address in her files, but they're in my office and I can't recall where she lives, even though I spend all day analyzing every bit of information I got on this woman. _Anastasia_. I'm drawing a blank and I'm getting angry beyond words. Does she need medical care? Oh, I can't tell, I can't know, I just can't think.

"What happened sir?"

"She passed out. I need to take her out of here."

"Where to, sir?"

_Yes, where to Grey?_ Where are you gonna take her?

"Let's… well… um…" I inhale sharply "Let's take her to my place." Fuck it. I need to make sure she stays safe.

"I gonna get the car ready. Do you need help sir?"

"No, I'm fine. Hurry up, I don't need no one seeing her like this."

I watch Taylor run through out the garden while following him with a slow pace and Anastasia in my arms. I just can't seem to have a moment of peace around this girl, what is she doing to me? Yet, she appears so beautiful, laying here still like she was sleeping; not upsetting me, not defying me. _Oh Anastasia_, you're so perfect with your magnificent long hair falling down my arms in never-ending waves, your long lushes tightly closed touching your naturally brazen cheeks, your full lips slightly open taking little bites of the air around you. _Who created you? _Is there even possible to exist such a human being? You could be an angel, for all I care. Your beauty should be celebrated not thrown away at a stripper club.

"Let me help you laying her down sir."

Thankfully Taylor stops my thoughts, where did this even come from? _When did you become a poet Grey, are you soft-hearted now?_ No, it can't be. I don't even have a heart. I push away these things out of my head. I had more urgent matters in my hands right now. Literally. I'm in the back of my SUV holding Anastasia head in my lap. I couldn't let go of her, not when she was like this. I need to make sure she'd be okay and I wouldn't be able to do that if she wasn't close to me.

I held Anastasia in my arms all the way since the garage until we entered my house. I hurried through out the stairs and into my room; I didn't even think about where I should place her until I laid her down on my bed. I sat there in the end of my bed with my head shoved between my hands, trying to work things out, unfolding the events of the night in my mind.

It wasn't until I heard someone cough that I realize it wasn't just me and Anastasia in my bedroom. Lifting my gaze, trying to find who was disturbing me I found a pair of hazel-green eyes looking me suspiciously. Fuck, Stephanie.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped immediately, not only was against the rules – never walk into my room – I couldn't bare sharing with another person the sight of Anastasia so vulnerable in my bed. She was for nobody's eyes right now, except mine.

I instantly walked to the door, putting myself in front of her vision field.

"I… I saw you get up here in a hurry with someone in your arms." She looked scared and curious at the same time; she lifted her head trying to see over my shoulder. "I just wanna make sure everything was alright. Who is she?"

The way she spited the question repulse me, not only was she intruding my thoughts and my space, she was coming here to throw a little scene of… _of what?_ Jealousy?

"Clearly everything is fine, if I needed help I'd ask and none of this is your business so go away."

"But why is she in your bed? You never let…" I didn't even let her finish, her voice alone was irritating me.

"I said that's none of your fucking business." I shout, unable to contain myself. "The rules are very clear Miss Miller, you do not come near my room under any circumstance! Apparently you're not able to understand that so I suggest you go away before the punishment you'll receive gets any worse."

"Yes sir. I'm sorry." Stephanie immediately understood, I was in my domineering mode now and she quickly lowered her gaze and bowed her head to my commands. She exited the room without a single word and I exhale loudly. Could the night get any worst?

I hear a groan behind me and instantly shift, Anastasia says something that I can't figure out and drifts back again. I go to my closet and take one shirt out of there. I decided to change her into something more comfortable, so I start to undress her. She's only wearing the dress and some black lacy panties and the more the fabric of her clothes leave her exposed skin, the harder I get.

How fucking twisted that I'm getting turn on by an unconscious girl, but her body is so perfect I can't help my fuming desire. She could fit my hand perfectly; she's even more appealing than I had preview in my fantasies. Her skin could have been made of silk, so smooth it is. I'm caressing her stomach and arms when I see the scars.

My hearts stops in my chest, _what the fuck is this?_ I look more closely to see that her sides have small marks craved on her skin and my insides twitch painfully. I roll her on her side to analyze these scars further and I gasp when I see her back full of them. Who did this? Who the fuck did this to Anastasia?

I cannot keep calm any longer; anger is boiling through every single pore of my body. I run my hands though my hair in exasperation, I need to know who hurt her. I need to understand, who in the world would ruin her perfect body? Who would be capable of marking her like this, _what kind of monster_?

I pull away some strains of hair out of her face, putting on her the shirt, covering her beautiful martyrized body. I undress myself until I'm wearing nothing more then a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt. I leave my clothes in a pool besides the bed and walk out of the room.

I can't bare to not have any answers. I never felt this way before but seeing those scars on Anastasia back was like a knife twitching in my heart. What kind if pain did this girl knew in her life?

I wandered through out the all house. I read, I played the piano, I did some work, I even drank until I ran out of things to do and keep me distracted. I wasn't able to have a good rest in a couple of days, so I couldn't fight the exhaustion anymore.

I approach my bed cautiously, trying to figure out if Anastasia was still deep asleep. She was, looking peaceful and magnificent as ever and I slid under the covers to join her. I tried to keep the distance away from her but her body just eradiated warm and I couldn't stop myself from grabbing her from behind, pulling her back to my chest.

I closed my eyes and inhale this toxic scent, this woman was inebriant. I kissed her back, trying to erase her scars and the pain she suffered from her. I was in deep agony inside, torn between my heart and my brain, but my internal fight didn't last long because once I heard Anastasia soft breathing, the sound became like a lullaby to me.

I'm awaked by some vibrating and persistent sound, _what infuriating noise_! I groan and lift my bed trying to scrutinize what was disturbing my sleep, when I understand that's my phone buzzing.

"Grey" I manage to say more like a primitive sound then anything else.

"Mr. Grey… I'm sorry to be calling, but… Er, should I cancel your meetings for today sir?"

"What? Why would you do that?" after analyzing the voice I'm able to conclude that's my secretary who's calling me.

"It's already 8.45 am, sir. You had a meeting at 8.30 but Ros was able to manage that one and since you're not here should I reschedule the rest of the meetings?" Andrea asked, almost frighten.

_Shit!_ I glance furiously at the clock trying to prove if what's Andrea saying it's true and it damn well is. I fell asleep so deeply I didn't even wake up, I missed my meetings. It ever happened to me in my whole time as a business man. How can it possibly happen now?

I feel movement next to me and quickly snap my head to my right only to see a mess of brown hair buried in my pillow. I blink twice until my brain recovers his normal functions, _Anastasia._

"Yes, I think it may be better to reschedule some of my meetings. I'm gonna need to talk to Ros first and then let you know what you should cancel."

"Yes sir."

"Put Ros on the phone then."

"But she's in a meeting right now sir."

"I don't care, call her." I say in my must assertive tone, Andrea understands that immediately because she complies, only to left me waiting for a few minutes.

While I'm waiting for Ros, my right-hand in the company, to attend my call I untangle Anastasia's legs from mine and slip smoothly out of bed, trying very hard to not disturb her sleep.

This was probably the best night sleep I had since… since I can recall. Yesterday night my emotions got the best of me but right now, after a good rest I needed to analyze the fact that I put Anastasia in my bed and then slept with her. These actions were absolutely foreign to my normal self; I would never do that if I was thinking clearly, would I?

Even though I'm trying very hard to understand why I acted the way I did, my mind instantly drift back to those small marks, those wounds that were craved on Anastasia body. It was truly hurtful what I felt looking at them and I can't really understand why. It is because I have my own and know how much pain they cause me or is it that I can't simple bare to think that she was exposed to horrific experiences in her life and I can't change that?

I have all this feelings burning inside me and they are all too uncomfortable and all too new for me to accept or even comprehend them. I walk out of the room and enter my office without even noticing it, in the mean time Ros came to the phone and was talking to me, I have a vague idea that I was answering back but my mind was so disperse I can't even know what was said.

I sit in my chair, sighing and rubbing my temples when I hear a sharp noise that sounded like a scream coming from the floor upstairs. Did I imagine that? I'm obviously going crazy so I might as well go all the way and start hallucinating.

I was chuckling at my own thoughts when my heart clench, I wasn't hallucinating I have Anastasia upstairs! Fuck, I drop my phone and ran all the way to my bedroom hoping to god everything was okay with her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Again, thank you guys for the feedback. I'm sorry that I can't respond to your reviews individually but I read all of them and they mean a lot to the growth of the story. **

**I'm determined to post another chapter before the end of the week, so we'll see if I can manage that. **

**Anastasia P.O.V. **

_"Come here little Annie, I missed you. Did you miss me?" There it was the usual wicked smile on his face. _

_Even though I should agree to what his saying, I can't bring myself to consent on his awful fantasies. So I shake my head vigorously. _

_"Oh, you didn't? Why's that little Annie?" He gets up from his seat and starts walking slowly to me, cornering my body against the desk and the wall. I try to merge into the brick wall but nothing happens so I just shut my eyes vehemently. _

_"I know why, that's because you're a little whore. You put to much love into everything you do, and then you don't have love to give to where you should. To me, I'm your savior Annie." He whispers my name and I shrug through out my all body, I can feel him close. So close it's nauseating. _

_"No... No! Go away!" I scream the loudest I can. _

I pop my eyes open so fast it's hurtful, _it's okay Ana it was just a nightmare you're safe now. _Yes, I am. I scrutinize the unfamiliar room around me, where am I? It's all dark and I can't really distinguish reality from imagination… _or memories_. I shiver at that thought, but I'm awake now aren't I? It can't hurt me if I'm conscious.

I repeat that mantra in my head and look desperately for some source of light that could drag me out of my uncertainties, proving me it was nothing but a bad dream. Once I realize I couldn't found any, I rubbed my eyes the hardest I manage in a frustrating attempt of adjust my vision to my surroundings.

Suddenly, out of nowhere I feel one pair of arms shake around my waist pulling me towards them. My breathing got violent since the air couldn't quite make its way to my lungs. I thought I had already wakened up but this feels so real, more so than usually and I can't help but feel tears blurring my vision.

Instinctively I begin to scream for help, clenching my fists and pouncing hard in the chest of my assaulter, pushing this body away from me with all the strength I got. This figure it's clearly much stronger than me and continues to hug me tightly despite my efforts.

"Let me go! Help! Let go!" I'm hysterical and I scream until my voice dies in my sore throat. I'm convulsing in this person arms but I don't give up. I'm not a little fragile kid anymore that can be taken advantage off; I'm going to fight now for all the times I gave up. I'm kicking my legs and using my elbows to free myself from this grip.

Eventually I'm able to release myself from the grasp I was in and even though I can't see a thing in the dark I get up from this bed and run away searching for a door or something like that. Once I find one, I don't hesitate for a second to drag myself t the other side and lock it behind me.

I'm panting and sweating, not really sure of what's going on. I feel safer now that I can see what's around me. I'm in a bathroom, and _oh my!_ What a bathroom it is. It's probably the size of my bedroom or bigger. I can't decide that, I blink repeatedly trying to rationalize where I could be. Definitely none of this is familiar and if this is a dream, this scenario it's a first.

I not able to dwell anymore on that thought since a loud knock on the door bring me back to reality. I'm trapped in a major bathroom and my assaulter it's still outside I can't run, what am I gonna do?

I start crying desperately again, what is this? _Why don't I wake up?_

"Go… Go away!" my weak voice manage to produce some sounds but the knock just becomes more insistent and violent.

"Open this door immediately!" I'm so overwhelmed that my ears aren't able to recognize who's producing those words.

"Anastasia! Open this fucking thing or I'll kick it down."

There's a loud noise and something broke next to me but I'm acknowledge of anything because I'm searching incessantly for something that can be used as a weapon. I grab a razor that's next to the skink and turn around with ferocity to face my aggressor.

I was so determined to not back down that all life leaves my body when I see his face.

"Christian?" I whisper so low I don't even know how I was able to hear it myself.

"Anastasia, calm down please. I'm not gonna hurt you." I could see his face torn and his eyes were pleading silently to me "Please drop the razor."

His voice is so smooth it's like a melody to me, it embraces all my body and I do as I'm told. I let the razor slip through my hand, cutting me in the process. I only realize it though, when I see Christian Grey's worried eyes flicking between my face and my hand.

When I see the small drops of blood accumulating on the floor next to me, all the strength leaves me and I just succumb to my exhaustion. It doesn't take more then seconds since the moment my body hits the floor until Christian hands are grabbing me.

I'm so confused I don't have the forces to process anything of what happened so I just rest my head in the crack of his neck, allowing him to coddle me until I get no more tears to shed.

"It's okay Anastasia. Nothing is going to hurt you now, I won't let anyone hurt you." The way he's saying this is so confident that I actually believe him and sighing I lift my head to find his gaze.

"I'm so sorry… for all of this." I gesture around us with my hand and a drop of blood falls in his chest. "And that to." I said blushing slightly, lowering my gaze.

"Don't worry about this, any of this. Please." He begs, cupping my face and lifting it.

He's so beautiful the sight of his face in such a close proximity struck me hard. His eyes are hypnotizing, the most amazing light shade of grey I've ever seen. His jaw line appears to be sculpted so perfect it is, and his lips; his full tempting lips look like they're the most soft thing in the world.

His scent his intoxicating as well, it's smooth and strong at the same time, so manly, so… _him. _It couldn't exist any other scent in this planet that fitted this man more perfectly.

"I think we need to take care of this." He says pulling my hand on his and exanimating it closely.

Before I get any time to answer him he picks me up and cradle me to what I assume to be his bedroom. Christian sits me in his bed and goes back to the bathroom again, only to return moments later with what looked like a first aid kit.

"What am I doing here?" I asked apprehensively while he took my hand, cleaning the blood from it.

"You passed out last night." He lifts his head up to look directly at me. "You don't remember anything?"

"I… Yes" I murmur feeling my checks turn crimson, _how could I forget?_ Christian nods with his head to my answer but doesn't show any emotion towards my revelation. Though I'm pissed off he kissed me after insulting my work and my own being, I decide to let that slip away since he's taking care of me, which is anything but his obligation.

"Where am I?" I ask after he cleaned my wound and rapped a band-aid upon it.

"In my house." Christian states in a matter of fact way. "You passed out, I didn't know you're address so I brought you here for you to recover."

"I… Well, thank you uhm… Mr.…" I gulped loudly and blush, I know I couldn't stand this man just a day before, but he took care of me when I needed it. I'm confused and I don't know what to think but decided to be polite. "I'm afraid I don't know how to address you."

"Mr. Grey would do fine." Mr. Grey has a smug smile on is face that annoys me a bit. So you can call me by my first name but I can't address you like wise?

"Then I'd prefer if you treat it me by my surname as well" I decide to push aside the effect his rudeness can have on me. I tried to keep calm and be the most cordial possible, I guess I ought him that.

"Fair enough, Miss Steele."

"How do you discover my name? Mr. Hyde assures us that our files are sealed and are confidential, it's to our own safety. You couldn't have access to it."

"I told you Miss Steele, I have a way of finding out things." He almost purr that, so confident with himself.

"I guess I didn't give you credit enough, you really are a major control-freak." I smile, not that I wanted to but I was unable to control myself. Guess he really does get what he wants and he wanted to find out about _me._ Christian Grey got himself in trouble to find out my name, even if it just was to show that's he always the winner I still got flattered that he didn't give up.

"Well, now you know you should." He says that in a smugly way, but with a smile spread in his face as well.

"Do you have a broom Mr. Grey?" I asked after my sight located itself upon his bathroom entrance.

"A broom?" The look of disbelieve in Christian face is priceless; someone should have captured that for posterity. "What for?"

"Cleaning your bathroom floor, you destroyed your door because of my… well, because of me. The least I can do is clean and paying for a new one."

Soon after my point is clarified an amazing and rough laugh starts to rumble through out the all room and to my astonishment is coming from Mr. Christian Grey himself. _The bastard is laughing at me!_ I'm immediately infuriated by his response, that's rude of him. I'm only doing the right thing, I guess I'm entitled at a little respect but instead I'm presented with mockery. What a pompous fuck!

I'm feeling indignant at his reaction but I can't help to turn the brightest red, I'm getting a bit self conscious, why is he still laughing? Am I so dumb that I can't figure out my own stupidity? I'm about to get up and walk the hell away from this man and his broke bathroom door when he grabs my arm to prevent me from doing that, cleaning tears of enjoinment of his eyes.

"I don't know what's so funny Mr. Grey but if you want to stay here laughing at my expenses then I'm going away and you can clean your own mess!"

"Anastasia… I mean, Miss Steele please forgive me I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable it's just the idea of you paying me for a new door is absolutely delirious. I would never accept it, that should be the least of you worries." He says with amusement still in his eyes.

"Why would that be so, _Christian_? Your doors are that much expensive that I couldn't afford one?" I said his name on propose just to prove my point and show him I'm annoyed.

"No, of course not _Anastasia_. I just don't want that to be your concern, it's my door and you didn't even break it yourself. I did all that mess and I will fix it, paying for it it's not really a problem. I just wouldn't feel right taking money from you when that's absolutely unnecessary."

"But I was the cause of it all, I'd feel better if you just let me make it up to you."

"There are others ways to do that" He's smirking at me and I just narrow my eyes at him, evidencing that I don't find that slightly funny, who does he think he is? _And most importantly who does he think I am?_

I cross my arms and Christian gaze follow my wounded hand all the way until it's clenched between my arm and my torso. Suddenly his face falls flat and his eyes grow colder, almost like they are hurting. Talk about a 180 degree change!

"What happened earlier?" he asks solemnly, his voice deep and distant.

"I…" I got silence for a moment, I could pretend I didn't understand what he was implying with his question and change the subject but he looked so tormented by… by something that I felt I could ease his pain by telling the truth. "Just a nightmare."

"Do you have them often?"

"Yes" I whisper closing my eyes; it's painful for me to even think about it.

"Are you able to sleep much?"

"No, I have them almost every night." I confess and he nods in understanding, his eyes are showing something that wasn't there in any of the other times I saw him. I can't quite place it but I could swear it's almost compassion.

"What do you do when you're not able to sleep?" His gaze never leaves mine, is he trying to measure my truthfulness?

"I read. A lot." I smile distractively, reading was always my escape. "I didn't get the opportunity to go to college so I try to educate myself anyway I can. You know, trying to exercise my thinking in my spear time."

"College is overrated." Christian smiles kindly at me and it melt my heart, actually it melt my entire being; how come he's being so nice, does he feel sorry for me? "I like to play the piano."

He says that almost like a whisper and even though he didn't specify anything else, he didn't need to. I understood. He's not feeling sorry; he's relating himself with me.

"You have nightmares as well?" I ask placing my hands on my lap; he observes my movements for a moment before answering to my question, locking his eyes with mine again.

"Almost every night too." There's so much pain in this man gaze, I could almost cry by the sadness that I'm feeling for him.

"Can I hear it?"

"What?" Confusion spreads in Christian face and I can only smile shyly to him. I know we didn't get along so well before but I would really like to hear him playing.

"You, playing the piano."

He stays silent for what feels like hours, his eyes never leaving mine searching intensely for something inside me, probably something that could reassure him of whatever he needs to be reassured. I didn't let go of my gaze and kept looking intently at him as well, even though it was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly Christian raises his body with one gracious move and extends his long hand at me. My eyes flinch between his face and his hand but being given nothing but silence, I decide to place mine in his. Electric sparks fly through out my whole body the moment our skins touch and I feel my knees given in. I never felt this way with just a touch, I look for something that indicates me that Christian's feeling the same and I realize his breathing grew heavier, so that must be a sign.

Without sharing a word I'm lead out of the bedroom and only then I realize we're in nothing but t-shirts and underwear. I could melt myself of embarrassment in that moment, only hoping to be swallowed by the ground. _He must have undressed me!_ Is not that he hasn't seen my body already, but the thought of being in his bed while he did that, just felt… intimate.

I wanted to ask something about that but decide that now was not the time for it. I remained in silence until we get to the leaving room and in that moment I couldn't help but let a small gasp escaping my lips.

It's ridiculously big and I could feel myself being swallowed by its dimension, but before I get the chance to even absorb what's around me, Christian stops by the piano sitting himself in the bench and looking inquisitive towards me.

I mimic his moves and sit myself next to him; we stayed there a moment when finally his long fingers started to stroke the keys in front of us. He possesses an amazing manual dexterity; actually he plays so well he could be professional. The sounds that were being produced were just like velvet to my ears and the melody was breathtaking. It was something so sad and yet not depressing; it reminded me of rainy days with large grey clouds hovering in the sky and stretches of golden rays trying to pass through them.

I closed my eyes and listened avidly to every note his was playing until the sound ceased.

"That was beautiful." I said in a low voice, trying not to ruin the moment. Instantly an idea cross my mind and without filtering my thoughts, I blurt out. "Can you play The Sawn Lake?"

Christian smile and nodded to my question, immediately good memories start to spread inside me.

"Do you want me to play it?"

"Yes please" I say biting my lip; Christian closed his eyes at my gesture as if what I did distracted him or something. Soon he started playing Tchaikovsky's masterpiece and without realizing I got up and went to the middle of the room.

This music brings happiness to me, when I was little I used to see The Sawn Lake every year with my mom. I even swear to her that I'd become a great ballerina and that one day she'd be going to a show to see me perform.

Tears start to roll down my cheeks, I guess none of that will become true but even though that realization breaks my heart, the tears running down my face are of pure joy. The song brings me back my mother and her kind smile and tight hugs, her loving kisses and sweet perfume.

I began to dance not caring if I'm being silly or not. Even though I'm barefoot I try to produce the most perfect pointy toes. I arch my arms and start to spin the most fluent way I can along the division. I can't help but laugh out loud at my actions and from the corner of my eyes I see Christian's smiling too.

When the music finished, I do one last spin and fall backwards doing the best arch I manage with my body. I stay there a moment enjoying this feeling before straighten myself and exhale deeply. I smile like a little girl on Christmas Day and Christian starts laughing and clapping at my performance, looking the youngest I ever seen him. He's beauty is truly breathtaking and we just keep smiling stupidly at each other.

Before I manage to say anything else we're interrupted by a cough coming from behind me. I almost jumping since that noise caught me off guard and turn on my heels immediately. Standing before me is a black suited man. Instantly I turn flaming red everywhere, _did this man watch my stupid dance?_ Oh god, what an embarrassment!

"Excuse the interruption sir, but you have phone call. Apparently it's important."

I watch Christian face as the smile falls from his lips and his assertive expression takes charge. He says nothing while getting up and following the black suited man to what I assume to be an office.

I'm alone in this grand room staring at the whiteness of it all when suddenly I hear the sound of claps echoing through the walls. I look around, trying to identify where the sound's coming from, when a female figure appears before my eyes and I'm greeted by a gorgeous woman.

She's tall and slender, her skin complexion is pale but no so much like mine – no, she doesn't look like a corpse, she look radiant in her tone; her hair is straight and falls under her shoulders and she has bright hazel-green eyes. She's so beautiful that I can't help but feel very self-conscious.

"That was quite a performance." She says after her hands become still, with sarcasm dripping in her voice. "I could almost cry."

"Who are you?"

"I should ask _you_ that." She says it with nothing but venom in her words.

"You're the one spying on me, what do you want?"

"I want to know why you're here."

"Here?"

"Yes, don't play innocent. Here in his house, in his bed."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you but I don't know anything about that, when I came here I wasn't in the state of making decisions so I wouldn't know the reasons to it. Why don't you ask _him_?"

"Why were you screaming earlier?" _Is this the inquisition or what?_

"That's none of your business."

"I bet you just some freak he took pity in." She snarls, looking me with disdain.

"Look missy, you can't wander around the rooms asking questions that have nothing to do with you. I don't have to give you any explanation and you should go back to where you came from because I don't even know who you are." I snap back.

"I'm Christian's girlfriend, Stephanie Miller. I'd say nice to meet you but that wouldn't be true, in fact seeing your disgraced face and clumsy moves just ruined my afternoon but I guess my boyfriend likes to help the needy ones."

I got perplex at that information and wasn't able to say anything more after I hear that this arrogant bitch is his girlfriend. _Christian Grey's girlfriend, of course._ Why wouldn't she be? She's stunning and so is he, obviously he wouldn't be single.

My vision became blurry with the tears that were forming, not from what she said though. I couldn't care less if this Stephanie bitch thinks I'm disgraced or not but by the realization of her role in Christian life. I pass through her not even acknowledging her presence anymore. I run the stairs I fast as I can, stumbling along the way.

Once I'm in the room I clean my tears with the palm of my hand and began searching for my dress. I know I almost hated him but that was… _before._ After these moments with him I thought that maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought, maybe we just got with the wrong start. I know I definitely help in the animosity between us but I was willing to begin again, do it right. Obviously I was just fooling myself, he want nothing to do with me.

I pick up my dress and the little purse I had with me yesterday night and put my shoes on. I leave with his shirt still on but I don't care if I look ridiculous in this garments, I just want to get out of here the fast I can.

I pass through the leaving room and its empty again, nobody's here. Good, I didn't want anyone seeing me leave either. I quickly discover the exit to this enormous place and I tap nervously my foot while waiting for the elevator to come.

_Oh, what a fool! _I almost feel ashamed to think that I wanted to share my past with this man, that I wanted to share with him my pain and most importantly, that I believed that he could ease my scars. _What absurd thing Ana!_

Luckily the elevator arrives in the moment I hear my name being called and once I step inside it only takes a moment to descend to the parking lot. When I get out I inhale sharply the air around me and start to walk furiously out of the damn place.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Thousands of thanks for the reviews, I'm always happy to get you're feedback so please feel free to say whatever you want! :)**

**Sorry it took me so long to update but I got sick and couldn't really write… actually I couldn't do anything properly, for that matter. **

**Anyway, I just wanna apologize in advance for any mistakes I might have but I've been reading and re-reading a letter I need to send to a film school in NYC that I'm applying to next year, so I can't really think straight right now after spending so much time looking at that. **

**I decide I should post anyway since it's been so long and when I recover my grammatical knowledge again I'll correct any mistakes I may had made in here.**

**Christian P.O.V.**

I'm sitting in my piano playing the Swan Lake like Anastasia asked with her by my side, I'm being graced with her delicious scent and it just feels right to be doing this the way we are; all of a sudden my companion raises from her place and starts to walk to the center of the room.

I'm surprised by her actions and honestly a bit confused but I decide to not stop playing, she's by my right side and I can only see her by the corner of my eyes. Anastasia does a spin and I can't help but grin, she's dancing. Dancing to my music, the music I'm playing for her.

She positions herself in pointe toes and just stars to swirl around the room, her hair becoming nothing more then a lovely chestnut cloud wandering around the space and her body has the most gracious movements to it. She's smiling, a genuine heart-breaking smile that conditions my own. I can't help but feel good as well, she seems so carefree with so much life inside her, it's truly beautiful.

Anastasia begins to laugh and when that sound fulfills my lonely home, it's just not lonely anymore. It's alive and I feel my face is probably gonna split in two if I keep grinning like this. I can't help it though, the sight of her acting so youthful like she doesn't have a care in the world just makes me feel the same, specially now that I know she's been through some horrors in her life like me.

The music finally stops and she does one last spin and finish with an almost perfect arch of her body. Did she ever was a ballerina? Because she sure as hell could be one, she keeps smiling like a little girl and I can't help but letting out a big laugh and clapping at her performance.

I was just about to say how lovely she looks when she dances when Taylor appears from behind her, alerting us of his presence with a cough. Anastasia almost jump at the sound of that noise and the idea of something scaring her just disturbed me. I don't know why but I didn't want her to be frightened of anything, especially not at my own place; I wanted her to feel protected here.

Seeing her extreme embarrassment regarding the presence of Taylor just made me glare at him, he better have a fucking good reason to come in here interrupt my moment with Anastasia and putting her through this.

"Excuse the interruption sir, but you have phone call. Apparently it's important."

Obviously the smile I once had in my face is now gone and I can feel it's been replaced by a cold expression.

I get up from my sit not saying a word to anyone, I'm just angry with this situation so I limit myself to just follow Taylor until my office.

"Grey." I snap over the phone, who ever was calling already pissed the shit out me, interrupting my moment with Anastasia.

"Christian, is that a way to greet an old friend?" _Oh, for fucks sake!_

"Elena, now it's not the time. I'm busy."

"You're always busy, but I thought you'd find time for me." She purrs over the phone, I guess we can say Elena is an old acquaintance; whom I usually had time to, but is been a while now since the last time we saw each other.

Usually I would miss her, in retrospective she's my only friend but I didn't this time. I truly thought I needed her to remind me of what I am and mostly what I could have become if it wasn't for her intervention on my life when I was a kid.

So I was really surprised when I realize that in reality I didn't, I just didn't miss her that much nor did I needed her for anything. I may even like to be with her but she's not essential to me and that enlightenment struck me deeply in the moment I hear her voice in the other end of the phone.

"I don't, I'm sorry. I really need to go Elena, I will see you next time."

"Are you fucking kidding me Christi…" I ended the call before she could say anything else, I was really pissed off that my time with Anastasia had been cut off by her. I'd be extremely pissed with anyone that did that actually.

If I realized anything at all for this past hour or so, is that I never felt more joyful or even carefree in my life as I had while I was playing piano and she was dancing.

I wanted to talk further with this girl, find out why she was so broken and damaged, maybe exchange stories…? _What the fuck are you talking about?_ I slap myself mentally, my subconscious is right. I don't even know this woman for more than a couple of days and I already want to share things, _intimate _things with her.

_Yeah, what are you a girl? Maybe next time you'd like a sleepover and a manicure. _Fuck, I start to feel anger against my own thought, even though they are right.

I'm absolutely torn, one side of me never felt like this before and I can't even truly explain what the fuck it is that I'm feeling exactly – I guess is something like _hope_? But hopes of what, I already have my future design. After all this time I know all I'll have is my business, my empire and everything else is a mirage; maybe if I was another person with different experiences I might would have wanted _more, _but not being this fucked-up; but then again, the other side is just angry, as always. I'm always angry with the world and life itself for treating me the way it did, so that means that I'm angry as well with Anastasia because she came into my quotidian and shake everything up!

Now I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't think without thinking of _her, _and her stupidly big eyes and her absurdly pink lips and her infuriating pale skin and… ugh!

Exasperation comes through me, I can't give everything anyway to a person I barely now, I can't break all the walls that took me so long to built but I guess I can enjoy this a little longer and try to understand what it is that Anastasia is doing to me. Yes, I will do that and after I realize what it is that's so appealing about her, _I'll end it._

I inhale a big amount of air and sigh; I don't really have any other option. If I don't understand why I feel so draw to her, I will just keep acting strangely and do stupid things. And I can't afford to keep having that kind of behavior. I need to control myself. So, Anastasia let's find out more about you.

I'm so determined to do that, I walk out of my office confident and with a sexy smile on my lips; I know she won't be able to resist this. When I get to my leaving room I expect to find my little stripper wandering around, maybe by the windows admiring the view.

Secretly I had the hope that she would still be dancing because that must be the most beautiful and gracious vision I had in my life but when I get there my feet stop in my tracks and I'm greeted by an empty room. What… _where is she?! _

"Anastasia." I call soothingly not wanting to show my fears in my voice but no one answered me. I kept walking in direction of the kitchen; maybe she got hungry and went there to eat something. Once I got there I'm receive only by emptiness as well and my heart clench in my chest.

"Anastasia!" I scream, now getting really angry.

_Where the fuck is she? _I rush through the stairs looking frenetically, I now she's tinny but surely a person can't disappear into thin air. She has to be around here somewhere but as I sadly predicted she wasn't in the bedroom either.

I run to my office again shouting for Taylor, she's gone. She walked away from me, from whatever moment we shared. _Obviously she would leave you, what were you expecting Grey?_

I shake my head vigorously, I don't fucking care what I expected she shouldn't be walking away from me like this, not now. I took care of her and besides she seemed comfortable around here… around _me_!

"Taylor, where's Miss Steele?" I asked so abruptly I could swear I saw Taylor flinch at my words.

"I don't know sir, I was in my on office."

"She disappeared! How can that happen?" I glare at him, unable to hide my frustration.

"I don't know sir. I thought I should give Miss Steele some privacy so I retired myself to my loggings."

I didn't even answer him; reason was not within me at the moment. Taylor immediately picks up my cue and starts walking to the security room, where my cameras' monitors are all at display. I don't follow him right way, instead thinking of how all change drastically in a minute time. Does it have to be all the time like a fucking storm when I around this girl?

It's been literally just a few minutes since I let her alone in the room and when I come back, puff! She's gone.

"Mr. Grey, she's in the parking lot." I hear Taylor shout at me and I didn't even think twice. I just rush through the house until I get to the elevator. I press the buttons angrily and pounce on the wall in a desperate attempt to make the damn thing work faster.

As soon as the doors close it only takes a few minutes to get to the parking lot and when I arrive there I see no one. I curse under my breath thinking I fucking lost her before I get the time to sort things out but quickly my heart skips a beat when I see a shadow moving towards the exit door and I instinctively run for it without giving the proper though to my actions.

I couldn't loose time though, I wanted to understand what was going on, who this girl was, what past did she have and what fucking spell she put on me and to do all that _I need her_.

When I was getting close to this shadow my footsteps become louder and soon the figure turns around in a rush and with a shaky body; it's her, its Anastasia and I can tell she's been crying, her eyes are absolutely red and she has tears taints in her cheeks.

I can't really bear the thought of this girl hurting but I can't help to think that even the sadness can't demure her beauty, in fact I could believe it brings it out the most. It makes her appear like an innocent soul, a romantic heroin, a historic martyr, a stoic princess or maybe just a gracious angle.

_What the fuck?! You really are becoming a poet Grey, congratulations you're one cheesy motherfucker. _I truly scowl myself at my own thoughts; I don't understand where they are coming from but before I can analyze that to exhaustion Anastasia sudden moves awakes me from my subconscious.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked her, showing much more hurt then I intended to.

"I need to go." She eyes me suspiciously for moment, lowering her gaze afterwards and recusing to meet mine.

"And you didn't think you could warn me of it? Maybe even thank me?" I grabbed her arm and pull her chin up forcing her to look at me. When she does I see a sea of emotions going around in her orbits.

"Thank you for what?" She asks me, clearly exasperated. "For taking care of me? I think I already did that so what do you want more, an eternal life of gratitude?"

"Maybe a little more of consideration." I answer a bit taken back by her outburst.

"I didn't ask you for any of it so I don't think I ought you anything." She declares trying to free herself from my grip.

_What is she saying_? _She doesn't ought me anything?_ I took care of her, I brought to my place, I allowed her to sleep in my bed!

We shared experiences and I played for her, I fucking played for her while she dance and laugh all happy and now she didn't ask for anything, she didn't wanted it? Was it just an act from her behalf? But why, it makes absolutely no sense. We were good, we were bonding and all of a sudden she wants to leave; _is she fucking mental?_

Then why in hell is she crying if she wanted to leave all along? Why is she sad if this is want she wants? My head is hurting just from this nonsense of rumbling thoughts. I shake it vigorously, something isn't right and I want to now why, I want her to tell me but I can't quite put it in words.

I not being able to express myself and the words just stay dry in my sore throat so I try to persuade her the only way I know how to show my intentions. I grab her arm tighter and pull her to my chest, embracing her fragile little body in my arms, pressing her hard against me.

My hands merge in her messy hair and I clutched it between my fingers forcing her head to meet mine. She's biting her lip nervously and the sight of her voluptuous pink lip trapped between her teeth goes straight to my groin. I groan in frustration and I can see her eyes widen and her mouth forming the shape of an "o" letting out a small whimper.

That sound only help to fuel my desires further, I place my face just a few inches away from hers looking her intently in the eyes. Our lips are so close I can feel her breath, she smells so sweet it drives me insane. I snake one arm around her waist and pin her against some car that's near us. Her breathing increased drastically and I can see her chest infatuating with the air she takes in. None of us says a word and we continue to look engrossed in each other.

She bits her lip again, this time more fiercely and I can't help my hips to press harder against her body. That makes my erection almost painful and I pin it on her inner thigh in attempt to get some relief. When she feels it though, the softest moan escapes her mouth and that's the most fucking sexy sound I ever heard. I can't take the teasing anymore so I just open her legs, positioning myself between them and pulling her hair tighter, I bit her lower lip.

It fucking tastes delirious; I nibble her lip, pull it with my teeth and lick it furiously with my tongue. Anastasia closes her eyes and moans once again into my mouth; I feel her body tremble a bit so I press mine harder on her, taking the opportunity to insert my tongue in her sweet and wet mouth.

I taste and explore every bit of her with my tongue and it's even better than last time, she hesitates for a second but after I grinded my probing arousal on her, her tongue joins mine. It's almost like they're dancing together, everything it's so warm and exciting. I bit her lip once more with ferocity and start to draw her jaw line with wet kisses; I feel Anastasia's hips forcing themselves into my body, demanding more friction. I'm happy to give that to her, while at the same time I start to drag my tongue across her smooth neck.

Our breathing got heavier but somehow it's synchronized. We're grinding on each other desperately and I start to nibble on the soft spot behind Anastasia's ear making her groan loudly. I smile against her skin, inhaling her intoxicated scent and devouring her.

"What are you doing?" She asks in a small, fading voice. I don't answer her question; instead I choose to ignore it by kissing her lips again in a more passionately and vigorously way.

"We are in the middle of the parking lot." She states panting and trying to catch her breath, I don't allow her though. I continue to kiss her, showing her that right now I really don't want to talk and in fact the only thing I want is _her_, like I never wanted anything in my life.

"I don't care." Is the only thing I say when our lips parted in order for us to breath, doesn't she understand that I want her, that I _need_ her regardless of where we are?

"Someone might be watching." She whispers into my mouth.

"Then let's give them a show." I say it and kiss her effervescently before realizing what had just came out f my mouth.

_What the fuck is wrong with you Grey? Let's give them a show? Don't you fucking know you can't afford to have scandals or personal invasions by the media? _In this moment though, I couldn't care. I needed this and I really didn't give a fuck at who saw it.

I really must be mental or something but before things could get any further, Anastasia push me and taken by surprise I let her go. I looked at her confused. I thought she was liking it, I thought she wanted this as much as I did. At least this time she was reciprocating in an absolute state of sobriety.

"Are you crazy?" she asks with anger in her voice; _yeah baby I was just asking myself the same question. _

"Are you proud of being like this?" She shoots again giving me no time to even answer her first question.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I shout exasperated.

"I'm talking about this." She says waving her hands around us. "About you being a selfish pig, don't you have any shame? Are you really one of those pricks who have their girlfriends at home and yet they go around trying to fuck other women?"

I must look the most dumbfucked person ever at this point, _what the fuck is wrong with her_. I don't even understand what she's talking about. I blink repeatedly at her in an attempt to make sense of any of this but that's not working, instead I just receive a cold stare from Anastasia.

"You know what, you're disgusting." She says it almost like she's spitting letting me only more confused. She starts to walk away and I try to grab her to stop her from doing it.

She manages to deflect my move and without any warning, slaps me hard on me face.

"I don't want anything to do with you." She yells, picking up her purse from the floor and starting to run away.

I'm so astonished towards these events I'm not even able to do anything; I don't think I even breathe for a period of time. I just stood there, motionless with a confused and hurtful expression craved in my face not knowing what to make of this whole situation.

Really, if someone told me that they met someone – _a stripper to start _– and got absolutely obsess about her in a matter of days, making the most craziest things in a world like becoming a motherfucking partner into the damn stripper club just to get access to private information and after getting that information, planning to fire her as revenge towards some disapproving attitude she had but instead of taking that through finding her in a party and making out with her, only to have her passing out in their arms; accommodating her in their home, sleeping with her, sharing intimate things and then having her run away without saying a word and only chase her to the parking lot, try to make her stay, making out with her again and then all of a sudden having her slap you and call you a disgusting pig for reasons that make no sense, I would have laughed.

Yeah, if someone told me that I'd laugh really hard and probably believe it was a comedy act or maybe a prank.

Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's not, specially because I'm the one that made a lot of the stupid moves and I'm certainly not acting. After I'm able to restore myself back to my normal being, I sigh and run my hands through my hair, passing around the parking lot.

This woman is crazy, she's crazy and she's turning my life into a headache without proportions, I must eradicate her from… _from me._ Yes, I need to stop thinking about her, to care about her and to even bother trying to get even. No, she's a fucking mess and she clearly wants no help. She just proved that she doesn't deserve a single thought from me.

I don't fucking care if she's a stripper and if she's grinning on men to make a living, for all I care she can go fuck herself. I don't want to have anything to do with her either.

XXXX

I sit and burry myself in the biggest armchair I have in my leaving room, I have a glass of wine in front of me and the fireplace is emanating a cozy warmth. Stephanie is siting across me, in the sofa with her legs under her, looking rather hot and promiscuous with her night gown but that doesn't sort any effect on me now.

She's rumbling about something all smiley and happy, in fact I think I never saw her in such a good mood. Ever since this morning she's just appears very glad about something. Maybe she got some good news I don't know about, I don't really care actually.

All the afternoon was spent in the playroom with her, punishing her for something she didn't do. I wasn't even punishing Anastasia though, I was just chastising myself. I was the one who led things to this stage; I was the one who wasn't able to control his stupid desires. If anyone is to blame and punish is only me and that's what I did; only I channelize that into another person.

I don't even know what time it is, my mind is in some place I don't even recognize. I'm thinking about nothing, which obviously is a paradox but that just how I feel myself. I can see Stephanie lips move frenetically but I can't really place what she's saying, I just couldn't care less.

I could have sent her home but even if I don't want to admit it, I didn't want to be alone. After everything that happened today I couldn't help but feel a bit rejected and hurtful with what Anastasia did and said to me; I know those are some stupid girly and uncalled for feelings but I just felt them and when I finally return home from my adventure in the parking lot, Stephanie was just so eager to please me that I let her take my frustrations.

I sighed and rest my head in my left hand; I called Jack Hyde and told him that I didn't want those changes in the club after all. In fact I told him I didn't even fucking care about the damn club and that it could be burning that I didn't even wanted to be bother with it. I guess he was very surprised by my mood swing since I was so persistent the other day but I just don't care anymore. Anastasia is not my concern, I don't want to see her ever again so what she does is with her and I won't even bother.

"Christian is everything okay?" Stephanie calls out to me after realizing I wasn't paying her the slightest attention. However hearing her call me by my first name awakes me immediately.

"Christian?" I mimic her, frowning my brows. "Did I tell you that you could address me like that?"

"I… I just thought that after today…" She looks down, clearly uncertain of what to say. "I thought I was allowed to call you that."

"After today?" I ask raising my eyebrow this time_, did something happen today that I'm not aware of?_ "And why would you think that?"

"I thought we became more… intimate." She whispers looking hopefully to me.

I just chuckle at her, did she really thought that? I don't want anything intimate with you, _Stephanie._

"We're not. Nothing happen that could have changed anything between us. You know that I don't want more, I don't _need _more. If you're not okay with it just leave Miss Miller." I said with my impersonal and cold tone, looking her deadly in the eyes and dismissing her with my hand.

"But… Don't you see, I know you have feelings for me" She breaths getting up from her place and walking towards me, I frown and shift uncomfortably in my seat. "I know you have some commitment issues but we can work on that, we can…"

She motions her hand towards me, trying to touch me but I push it away with force, causing her to stop talking and looking at me with teary eyes. Where the fuck did this come from? I can't deal with this.

"_Don't fucking touch me._" I threaten her; she winces at my voice and takes a step back. "I don't know where this is coming from, but I don't really care either. I want you to leave, now."

"What?" She asks surprised. "Don't do this…"

"Leave."

"No, please Mr. Grey I'm sorry" She pleads falling to her knees on the floor into a complete submissive position.

"Leave." I say to her again, I'm not in the mood to dealing with little display of feelings.

"Please, are you breaking…"

"LEAVE." I shout startling her, she raises her head and look at me with tears falling down her eyes but quickly obeys my commands, picking herself up from the floor and walking away from my sight.

I rub my forehead with my thumbs and run my hands up my hair. What the fuck is happening around me? One minute I get everything figured out and life goes perfectly, the next one I have everything stumble down around me. I just feel the control slipping through my fingers.

XXXX

I'm in the back of my SUV going to work; I had the worst night sleep I can recall. Actually we couldn't even call it sleep. I'm tired and I didn't even shave, I'm definitely not in a good mood. My phone starts buzzing while I'm cursing the damn traffic.

"Grey."

"Hey, little bro!" _Great, just what I needed to start the day well._

"What do you want Elliot?"

"Always straight to the point."

"I don't like losing time, I'm a busy person."

"I'm sorry Mr. CEO. I'm just calling to ask if you're coming to Ethan Kavanaugh birthday party next Friday."

"No, I wasn't even invited and I don't really make intentions of it."

"Yes, you were. Ethan asked me to tell you. He said you vanished from the party the other day and he didn't get time to talk to you but he would like for us to be present."

"What a shame… I don't know I don't feel like it. I don't even know him that well."

"Oh come on, he invited mom and dad too. We're all going and it isn't going to be nothing too big, just us, his family and a couple of friends."

"Yeah, I can imagine how much a couple means to him judging by last Sunday."

"No, I mean it. I believe it's just some college friends of his and a childhood friend of his sister."

_A childhood friend of his sister? _Anastasia is a friend of Katherine, could it be her?

"Christian, are you there?" Elliot asks after my long absence.

"Yes, I just got distracted."

"I imagine… so, you could bring your _girl_. Maybe introduce her to us." _What?_ Did I hear that right?

"_My girl?_ What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on little brother there's no need to lie now that everyone knows."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Haven't you read the papers yet?" He asks me with surprised in is voice. "I suggest you do and I also suggest you bring her to the damn party before mom starts to interrogate you for not introducing her to the family. I have to go now, laters."

With that Elliot hangs up on me leaving me absolutely shocked. Immediately I command Taylor to stop the car and find some newspaper. Once he returns his face appears upset and I'm starting to get angry at what's going on, something that I clearly no nothing about.

When I get the damn paper in my hands and look at the headline followed by pictures of me and Anastasia in the parking lot, I feel all the blood I have in me run to my head.

"What the fuck is this?" I shout absolutely furious with this news. "How did anyone get access to this footage?"

Steam is coming out of my nostrils; actually is coming out of every pore of my body. Pictures of me and Anastasia in the newspapers: _just what I needed to brighten my day_.

Luckily I'm the only one recognizable on the picture and the woman in it is just a blur of messy brown hair so she can't be identified. I run my hands through my hair exasperatedly, this can't be fucking happening.

Now my family thinks I have a girlfriend and want me to present her to them. I guess that erases the idea of me being gay, still this was not what I had planned but if I don't show up with a girl then I will have to justify why in hell I was almost fucking some woman, _in public_.

_Oh yeah, let's give them a show now! Great, just great Grey. _I growl in frustration.

I need to think of something, maybe presenting someone during Ethan party is not such a bad idea, he's the one who should be on the spot light so if I just present someone and hide behind that protection, I could spear myself from the throughout questioning I would be subjected if it was in any other context.

Then I can always "break up" with her and everything just dies in everyone memories and I can rest and forgot about all of this shit. I sigh and resign myself to my faith, pulling out my cellphone.

"Miss Miller."

"Mr. Grey" I hear her gasp before saying anything, surprise overwhelming her voice.

"Are you free this Friday?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, I'm so really sorry about my lateness. College is really a bitch and with the holidays it was hard to have time to write something. I appreciate all of your dedication to the story that makes me really happy. To compensate you guys I'm posting two chapters, hoping you still on board with me. :) **

* * *

**Anastasia P.O.V**.

I run as far away as possible, I don't even see clearly where I'm heading but in my mind I have a thousand rumbling thoughts I can't put order on. So I just keep going like a crazy person, all the way down the street until I get to the end of the block.

I lean in the wall of some building and take a deep breath, putting my right hand across my heart as I try to calm down, I feel like I have a bomb about to explode in my chest.

My palm stings reminding me of that I did, I can't believe I slap him! And by the pain I'm feeling I did really slap him hard. He deserved it though, I feel like he played with my emotions. Surely he took care of me yesterday when I pass away and this morning when I wake up to my nightmares but in between he could had taken the time to tell me he had a girlfriend.

_He even kissed me!_ He kissed yesterday at the party, what a jerk. Didn't he remember he had a girlfriend waiting for him in his apartment? And the action repeated itself when he kissed me again in the parking lot; doesn't he have any shame what so ever?

I feel tears forming in my swollen eyes but I can't break down in the middle of the street, I need to get home. I was so vulnerable with him, sure I didn't choose to have my nightmare with him in the house but he saw it and I feel like I share too many intimate things with him. Things he didn't deserve to see or know.

Nothing makes sense to me except that Christian is a goddamn cheating pig and he should be embarrassed of himself. He sure doesn't deserve my grief or tears but I can't help though, I think I just need a few days to rap my head around these ideas.

I kept walking but I still don't recognize where I am, where does this guy leave? I see a cab on the other side of the street and I don't hesitate to run towards it.

Once I'm inside I inhale deeply all the air around me and instruct the driver to my place. He eyes me suspiciously and I have a feeling that's because I must look like hell after all this crying and running. That's normal though, if I saw someone with a male shirt, heels, some gown folded under one arm and a little purse in the other I'd probably believe they were crazy too.

The man doesn't asks me any questions even though I can see that he's looking constantly with curiosity through his rearview mirror. I'm thankful for that, I truly needed a quiet and silence ride to get my thinking straight.

I decide I won't dwell on Christian Grey anymore, I may be a stripper but I got respect for myself and I'm a bright young woman, I deserve better then someone this selfish and narcissistic. So my plan is to never think and never see this man ever again in my life.

Once I'm in my build I rush until I'm facing my doorstep, I know sometimes I feel like my house is empty and lonely but right now it doesn't exist a place where I would feel more safe.

I roll my keys in my locker and the familiar sound of my door opening greets me fondling, finally I feel secure. I let all things fall to my feet and strip myself right on the hallway. I feel the suffocating need to wash me though, like I need to wash Christian Grey out of me immediately.

I walked naked to the bathroom and I don't hesitate to put me under the cascade of warm water that was pouring from my shower. When I finished I actually felt fresh and clean and those were a good sensations to have.

I wrap myself in a towel and drawing wet footprints across my room I picked up my phone and called Kate. I was rather nervous to talk to her, I knew she was gonna be mad at me for vanishing like that and she was going to be acting even crazier when I tell her about this Christian Grey guy.

"Ana! Where the fuck have you been?! I was so worried!"

"Yes, I know Kate. I'm fi…"

"You know?! No, I don't think you know. I was just one phone call away from reporting you to missing persons! You just vanished Ana and didn't tell anything what the fuck happened?"

"That's what I'm trying to explain Kate, just calm down and listen."

"Okay, I'm listening but it better be a great excuse Steele!"

"First of all, I'm so sorry. I never meant to left you upset but it wasn't really my choice…"

"Oh my god! Did someone hurt you? Are you okay?" Kate was shouting and squealing at the same time, I sighed internally I knew she was going to get crazy.

"Kate! Stop jumping the gun on me. Nobody hurt me, I'm fine." _Lie, total lie Anastasia. _"Maybe I should tell you this personally… it's kind of complicated."

"Oh fuck me Steele, a person is dying over here to know what happened to you and now you want to create suspense?"

"Kate really, this is a bit personal over here. I'd prefer to see you face to face." I said lowering my voice as if I was telling a secret; I did hope she would understand this.

"Ugh, fine. I need to know this today so just get dress and meet me from a drink downtown. I'll text you the address of the place. Be ready, quickly." Kate was in demanding mode so all I could do was nod, I know she couldn't see it but it was my natural response to her bossy ways.

She hang up right way and I went straight to doing what she told me, within minutes I got a text from her telling me the spot I should meet her. I was a small café with and intimate vibe to it, I smile fondly. The environment was a match to my needs and I'm sure Kate picked up thinking of that, she really was a great friend to me and that thought just made me feel even worst for leaving without any notice.

Obviously it wasn't truly my fault but I would feel the same way and panic just as much if I were in her shoes. I shake that thoughts, they were not helping and I needed to hurry myself I had to get dressed and get up with Kate and then head to work.

_Oh shit_. Work, I almost forgot about that little detail, was I still gonna have a job after tonight? I sure hope so because I really don't know what to do if I don't have it.

I got suddenly very nervous and afraid to even get out of the house, I'm so comfortable and safe in my little apartment I'd much rather stay here for an undetermined period of time until all things that could hurt me just disappeared.

I couldn't do that though; I'm an adult person who needs to work for a living and can't afford those kinds of eccentricities. But most importantly, I'm the kind of person who has a curious, overbearing and quite furious person waiting for me so I need to speed up my pace.

I pull myself on a skinny pair of light jeans, a black lacy top, my leather jacket and some ultra-high heels burgundy booties I got. I felt like I could kiss some asses on those and that just made me happy. I quickly grabbed my keys and purse and get out pacing fast towards my old but fealty car.

Once I made inside it was only a matter of time until I got to my destination and when I enter the small café I saw Kate already siting there, in a table by the window. She looked stunning, but that was the usual so I didn't lose much time thinking on that.

I sat right in front of her and was greet by a not so happy stare. I smile awkwardly and gulped, this was going to be hard to explain but once I prepare to give her my carefully planned speech the waitress interrupted me. I took that opportunity to buy me some time and since I was starving I asked from something to eat.

"Don't tie up this anymore Steele. I'm waiting for an explanation and a viable one." Kate says narrowing her eyes at me.

"I know Kate, is just kind of weird." I confess, sighing.

"What's weird? Telling me?"

"No, all that happened." The waitress came with my food and our drinks and after I gulped several times from my juice I started my explanation. "Yesterday, at the party I just felt inadequate. I know you think I'm silly for that but I just couldn't help it."

"Steele…" Kate voice was now low and caring but I didn't let her continue.

"No, let me finished." I state stopping her with my hands. "Like I said, I felt out of place there so I kind of get wasted and clearly too much since I pass out." I could hear Kate gasping but I just kept on with my story if she wanted to know, she would have to listen until the end.

"And when that happen this guy… uhm, Christian Grey he brought me to his house and since I was unconscious I couldn't really warn you about that."

"Christian Grey? _The_ Christian Grey? Are you fucking kidding me?" Kate was practically yelling to the all café and immediately I blushed. Did she need to be this din?

"Do you know who he is?" I asked even more embarrass about the all thing.

"You really got be kidding me, is this for Punk'ed?"

"Kate, calm down please. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ana, how could you not know, don't you know who Christian Grey is?" I shake my head in response, flustering as the minutes go by. "Oh my… You really don't know… Steele, he's the CEO of Grey Enterprises Holding. He's one of the richest men in America and one of the most eligible bachelor as well although I have a theory that he's gay." She confesses with a smug look on her face.

"Oh… I didn't know, I guess that explains his house." I said frowning my brows. _Holy shit, he's a business magnate? _ "You're theory is not correct though."

"What? How would you know that, did you fuck him?" Kate brows could almost rise to the ceiling. "I've been trying to get an interview with him for years now."

"No! Of course not, he… we kind of kissed… but he has a girlfriend!" I say whispering the last part, with tears threating to burst at anytime.

"Wow, you guys made out? Anastasia Rose Steele, nice way to go. Damn girl, I'm not even mad anymore, I totally understand now."

"Did you not hear me at all? He has a girlfriend." I said a little louder this time, with a shaky voice.

"How? I thought you guys kissed…"

"That's exactly it." I answer her not able to contain my tears anymore.

"Oh my god, what a jerk!" She said with compassion on her eyes and taking my hand into hers, smoothening me while my tears couldn't be restrained. "What a stupid douche, I can't believe. Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure. I saw her!" Kate was still apprehensive but after that evidence she couldn't fight the truth and neither could I.

"It's just weird, all of this time he was never seen with anyone. Not even just a casual date." She said thoughtful, tapping on the table with her hand. "I guess he's just very private. But that's probably because he clearly is a son of a bitch."

With the harshness of her words I winced, not that I haven't call him that just moments before or that I didn't agreed with what Kate was saying is just that the actual confirmation made me sadder.

Is actually stupid to be this affected by all of this, by a man that did nothing but be rude towards me but still keep kissing me like there was no tomorrow, a man that I know a few days ago but even since then, I couldn't get him out of my head.

I know I kind of complicate things with my idiotic behavior and wasn't the nicest person on earth but the dancing scene and all its subjacent memories kept replaying in my head over and over. I thought so many things in that moment but most importantly I felt. I felt what I've never felt in years, I felt so carefree so happy like all the worries in the world had just disappeared, like everything that happened to me was not relevant anymore.

I try to control my tears so I wipe them away with the palm of my hand and Kate squeezes the other one a little so that I can understand she's with me and she'll help me anyway she can. I respond her with a small smile and gulp all my stupid thoughts away, for moments I believed Christian Grey could be my redemption, the light that would get me out of my darkness, of my mess and sorrow but apparently I couldn't be more wrong.

"It's okay. You're right, it's just… I had a nightmare." I confessed slightly blushing, Kate knew all about my nightmares I was just embarrassed about having them in front of _him_.

"He was there?" She asked in surprised making me blush even more, trust Kate to make you feel better about situations.

"He was the one waking me up. I kind of tried to hurt him with the knife before I realize where I was." I said burring my face in my hands, trying to spear me from rewind the scene in my head.

A laugh, deep and full of life erupted for Kate and she was laughing so hard, she was beginning to cry. I was a little confused a first but quickly I understood. Maybe that memory wasn't so bad, it really was something funny if you think about it and he clearly deserved that so I just joined her in the moment and soon we looked like fools in the café.

We were interrupted by a raging sound of a cell phone. Kate grabbed hers and muttered to me "work" before getting up and stepping outside to take the phone call. I instantly felt bad, here I was dragging people in the middle of the afternoon to my mess completing forgetting they had lives of there own and normal work schedules.

Since I worked at nights most of the time I forget that others around me didn't and worked regular hours during the day. Kate was one of those people and I kept her apart from her duties and responsibilities because I couldn't tell the stupid thing over the phone.

I sighed and signalized the waitress for the bill, I guess that was my way of compensating my friend for all the time she was dispensing me and my problems. After I paid everything, Kate came back to the table with an apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry Steele, I'd love to hear more about that" She said giggling clearly replaying my words in her head. "But I have this very important meeting to attend and daddy will kill me if I don't make it."

"Kate, it's okay really. I'm the one who should be saying sorry for dragging out of work."

"What? Don't you ever say that Ana, I'm glad I can be here for you and what you told me just made my day." Kate said that with a malevolent grin upon her lips. "Now, I'm definitely gonna schedule a meeting with this Grey jerk."

I didn't quite understand that but I let it go, it seemed she was more conspiring with herself rather than speaking to me. We got up and left the small café with our arms enlaced, I was definitely feeling a little lighter now that I've shared my pain. Once we got to the corner of the street with said our goodbyes and start to go our separate ways, I was already near my car when I hear a pair of heels running in my direction.

"Ana!" I hear a voice call and turn around to greet a panting Kate "I forgot to tell you, Ethan birthday is next Friday, we are doing a party in my parents' house and you have to come."

"Oh, I totally forgot Ethan birthday was coming up." I confess, chastising myself mentally.

"The thing is… The Grey family is invited as well, so Christian is probably going to be there." She says lowering her voice, almost like she was afraid of my reaction.

"Why are they going to be there?" I ask in disbelieve, _really, did this had to happen? _

"I don't know, dad is doing business with Christian and his parents are nothing like him you know… They are very nice, they do charity works with daddy and we had a few dinners with them, so polite and carefree people, really you'd love them…"

She was clearly rambling and that only showed how nervous she was and if Kate was nervous about the all thing I sure as hell wasn't going to be the exception. So I thought, long and hard taking in consideration Kate was in a hurry and I decided there was no way I was going to the party.

"I'm not going." I say apologetic, I couldn't bear to see that man again. "Don't look at me like that, I'll call Ethan and have lunch with him Friday or something but I can't go and please don't force me to."

Kate opened her mouth and closed it several times before sighing and holding her arms in defeat. "Okay, I understand and I wouldn't put you through something like that. I'll tell Ethan you can't make it."

I smile and hug her tight, I was thankful she didn't push the subject like she would in any normal circumstance. This, however, wasn't the case and Kate understood that so she didn't force me or even tried to convince me any other way around.

XXXX

It was already three and something in the morning and the club was starting to get empty, it was normal thought. At Mondays we didn't have that much costumers, just the usual ones. The flux of clients always begins to get bigger towards the end of the week and obviously at the weekend.

Apparently the big spooky changes we were gonna face were nothing but some changes in the management, some guy joined in as a major partner but nothing was official yet since it needed to go through some boring and legal process first. Some girls were fired but that because it was discovered that they were pregnant and they couldn't afford to keep paying them if they were gonna have to leave soon.

Jack told us that this new partner was not someone very certain so maybe today everything was fine and the next day he wanted someone out, I thought he must be a real douche for acting like that. Maybe some spoiled child who grow into a heartless man or maybe just someone who is clearly insensible. I guess we all needed to be on our best behavior, looking and acting the best we could so that he didn't fire us.

The rest of the night went smoothly and when I was leaving the club it was already 4.30 in the morning. When I step outside I inhale all the air that was surrounding me, it felt nice to feel the freshness of the night on my skin so I close my eyes momentarily.

Actually I love leaving the club, not only because it means works over and I can finally rest but it's just the feeling I have when I get to street. Regardless of the season or even the time it always feels good. It's like a fraction of a second I got to enjoy the quietness of the world and the cool breeze or the warm air. It's the time I got to appreciate the sun emerging on the sky and painting it in breathtaking colors or just the time to count the amount of starts that shine like diamonds in a velvet cloth.

I stay there for a while savoring the wind that blows slightly my already messy hair, not moving with my closed when someone grabs my shoulder. It startled me so much I scream and turning quickly around I punch whoever it was that touched. My jab was so strong and unexpected that my assaulter felt on his knees grabbing tightly his nose.

I didn't stick around to see what was going to happen next so I just run like a crazy person down the street to my car, once I get there I search frenetically for my keys but they lost on my purse and I can't find them right away. It doesn't help that I start to panic and shake uncontrolled but the fear it's striking me too hard.

My purse fells flat in the floor but I'm in just despair I get down on my knees to search for them, I finally find them and without even thinking about picking up all that's spread on the floor I try to fit my key in my cars' locker.

"Hey!" When I hear a male voice calling for me in such a short distance my hands shake even more and I could believe to be having some kind of panic attack. I thought I was being quick given the circumstances but obvious not, since my assaulter it's almost on my heels. "Wait, Ana!"

I was just getting ready to stab my keys everywhere I could on this man if he touched me again but I stop on my tracks when I hear my name being called. Fear is still running in the place of my blood but I turn around to see who was there.

"Ethan?" I ask in utterly disbelieve when I see Kate older brother looking astonished and dropping blood from his nose.

"Hey, Ana" he says scratching his head n a kind of embarrassed way while I looked like I've seen a ghost and couldn't put my surprise in words.

"Ethan…" I try to say, only producing mumblings. "How…" I was trying to make sense of everything but couldn't quite place the things in the right order, _what had just happened?_

I was with my mouth still hanging open of the all situation but when my eyes flinched to his bleeding nose I instantly bend down looking for some tissue or something.

"Ana, what are you doing?" Ethan almost screams maybe thinking I had passed out, I quickly got back up and show my tissue apologetically.

I start to clean his face quietly, I was feeling so ashamed! _Why do you always have to jump to conclusions like this Anastasia? _I couldn't even begin to tell how sorry I am, I feel really bad about the all thing. I fucking punched Ethan in the face, if I had a hole on the floor right now I'd absolutely jump there in a heartbeat.

"I'm so, so sorry Ethan" I start apologizing, after all the blood left his face. "I didn't know it was you…"

"Ana, really stop." He said grabbing my shoulders gently. "If anything, I'm glad."

"Glad?" I ask confused. He's glad I punched him so hard that his nose became like a tap? That makes no sense to me.

"Yeah, I'm glad" He whispers with a boyish grin spreading in his lovely face. "It's good to know you can defend yourself."

I couldn't help but laugh, Ethan joined me in an instant and we both kept laughing until my stomach loudly signalizes that it can't take anymore effort without a meal first.

"I'm serious thought" He said straitening his face and looking me intently in the eyes. "I've always worried about you, getting out of work at this time at night."

I gulped, I could feel my cheeks turn crimson but I couldn't help. He was looking profoundly in my eyes, almost perforating my soul. "There's no reason to, actually this is the first time that ever happen to me."

"I'm the one who's sorry for startling you like that, I should know better." Ethan says smiling kindly. "It's just I'm not able to sleep for a while now and I was thinking about you, sine I knew you work late… well, I thought you could keep me company."

"I guess the least I can do is give you breakfast." I comply, meeting his smile.

Ethan agrees to come to my place for an early breakfast or whatever name you wanna name a meal at 5 in the morning. We go in our separate cars and quickly get to my apartment; my house isn't so far way from my work place. Once we're in I change myself to my sleeping clothes, which consist on a pair of baggy sweat pants and some old top that happens to lay around my bed.

I'm comfortable being this carefree around Ethan, it might be weird or sound strange to someone else that I've brought home a guy, at the crack of the dawn and that I put my awful clothes on but it's different. It's not like we've some romantic or even sexual tension between us. I feel like Ethan it's a brother to me.

Don't get me wrong I can see he's an extremely attractive man but knowing him my all life and being with him and his family during my roughest moments, just change his gorgeous appeal into a brother figure.

I'm also not so oblivious, that I don't understand Ethan got some kind on crush on me, if you can call it that. I had one on him too one I was a teenager, just and innocent love that I fed on him. He was the perfect image of the all American boy and that made me have a crush on him so hard it was difficult to be around him with turning tomato red.

He never saw me more than a little girl, maybe a little sister too. I understand that now, why would he be interested in a younger inexperience and regular girl while he could had the most popular, beautiful and outstanding girls? Back then though, it hurt me a bit. I shake my head at that thought; I was just a silly person.

I shared this fantasy of being asked by him to some dance, sweep him of his feet with my personality and making him fall so in love with me, we'd be together until college and marry afterwards. I was just a teenager that liked to exercise her imagination, obvious it would never go that way nor would I want that now but maybe that's because my perspective of Ethan changed when my parents died.

I frown at that thought, I don't want to think about that right now, otherwise I'd be depress and sad and probably this moment it's not the perfect one. Ethan just became like a brother figure to me since then, he started to cared and to be there for me like any real family member would and my silly crush just evaporated into thin air.

Pushing my parent's memory to the back of my mind, I focus on the idea of me and Ethan together and that humors me. I chuckled alone, or so I thought until I hear someone shifting in a chair, pulling it closer to the kitchen balcony.

"What's so funny?" Ethan interrupts me from my own thoughts.

"Oh, nothing… I was just thinking when I was a teenager…" I stop my sentence before finishing it and blush slightly, I may not have feelings for him anymore but I don't want to make a fool out of myself. "Breakfast is ready."

"When you were a teenager and had a total crush on me?" a smirks creeps his face. "Hmm, it does smell nice"

"Was it that obvious?" I ask chuckling, my embarrassment disappears and it's place my amusement. "I thought I was invisible to you."

"Pretty much but back there you were just a kid and I… I was a kid as well, just a little older. You were never invisible to me, though"

"Why haven't you said that to be back there?" I fake a pouting and giggle at the same time. "I'd be all over the moon."

"I'm telling you know." Ethan becomes serious and looks at me… _expectantly? _I'm not quite sure, sleep is getting heavy on my tired body so I just kept silent, placing our home cooked meal in front of us.

"So, what's going on between you and the Grey's?" he breaks the silence and I instantly panic, what does he mean? Does he know about something, how could he though. Nothing happened between me and Christian, except obviously our making out but it was never in front of anyone. Maybe somebody has saw it on the parking lot and told Ethan, though that's highly improbable to happen; maybe he saw us at the party… he was there and I did pass out so I don't know how I got into Christian's house.

"What?" My voice gets a pitch higher and I try to calm myself down mentally, coughing to covering up my nervousness and trying to recover. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're not coming to my birthday party and you always come." His voice is even as he's just stating facts. "You always make it even when it's hard and not coming now without any viable explanation… I can just assume it's because there's this new variable to the mix."

I could almost feel my jaw hit the floor; though that's the truth I'd never believe Ethan to be this perspicacious about that matter. It's not that it doesn't make sense what his saying_. Obviously it makes sense Ana, it's the truth!_ But anyone had to give some thought to come to that conclusion and for Ethan to be spending his time dwelling on that matter… it's weird.

"I… well it's just that the Grey's brothers have come to the club and Christian he was never very nice to me, you know, because of what I do." I decide to not deliberately lie to him but still I couldn't tell him everything about the whole story so I kept it short and acceptable.

"That fucker!" Ethan clenches his hands tightly. "Has he said anything to you?"

"Don't worry about that, I just didn't want to be there and ruined your celebration by creating tension between us." _Deliberately lying Anastasia._

"You'll ruin it if you don't come." Ethan was playing the puppy dog eyes card and I laughed at that. "Plus, I know of a way to teach that fucker a lesson and show him not everyone is discriminating as him."

Ethan gave me a devilish grin, I was a bit taken back by the sound of that but I decided to hear it out at least maybe he could have some good idea.

XXXX

It was Friday already I was regretting my decision as the moment got closer, all week those grey pools didn't left me alone. At least my dreams changed a bit and for that I was thankful but it couldn't pass a moment where I didn't left my mind wander to that man.

Plus with all the scandal that came out of our little make out session in the parking lot I couldn't look at any newspaper and not see everyone dying from curiosity to know who that girl was. I actually almost chew my own lip when I saw that for the first time, Tuesday at launch.

Kate had called me and told me to meet her at some restaurant because she needed to talk about something, _immediately._ It was only when I get there then I was enlighten of what was going on in the media world. She didn't know for sure if it was me or not on that picture but she told me she had a feeling. My feelings though were of pure embarrassment, guilt and some other things I couldn't place it nor did I wanted to.

I was determined to be haunted by that man the rest of my life even when I vowed I wasn't going to ever lay eyes on him again. Apparently I was and it was going to be tonight.

XXXX

I was already inside the Kavanaugh's house, a place I knew rather well. It was like a home to me and they always treated me like their own daughter, I normally felt happy and safe there. This moment though, had nothing of normality. My heart race was at its highest and I was so nervous my palms could fill glasses of water.

I was evaluating everything, my dress, my hair, my posture, my face and I felt purely self-conscious. I was doubting all, maybe I should have dressed something else or maybe I should have never agreed to Ethan plan, surely it was making a bold statement showing I was depended of no one when it came to my happiness but maybe I'm leading Ethan on and I really don't want him to think I want something else with him.

Even though I'm concerned Ethan will interpret way more into this all thing, I have to admit I'm glad he's doing this because I wouldn't feel so safe or confident if it weren't for him. All everyone talks about is this girl that hit the news, which means they're talking and speculating about _me_. Obviously they don't know that and think that it's Christian's mysterious girlfriend, who apparently it's attending this party as well.

God, could this be more painful to me? _Compose yourself Ana, you're in your own territory this time_. I shake my insecurities from me and straight my spine. I breathe heavily and Ethan comes to my side, holding my hand and showing me compassion.

I was starting to get engage in the conversation and forgetting about my worries when the bell rings. Everyone stood up and holds their own breath, they are going to meet Christian Grey's a girlfriend and apparently that's something not even his parents were expecting.

I get more and more nervous, Carolynn and Robert rush to the door. I hear them talking and even though the people have already beginning to talk animatedly I'm able to distinguish that rough and strong tone of voice that could only belong to one person.

I was trying to be strong but hearing his velvet voice made me weak and nervous again, the pain rushing back up. I can't bare to see him again, especially if that bitch is going to be with him. I can't take it, I wanted to be here all the way but it's just too much.

I untangle my hand from Ethan's, I say I'm going to the bathroom and I almost run all the way there. Once inside, I close the door and let my body fall to the floor. I thought I could do this but maybe I was wrong.

* * *

**I know you were expecting more on the party scene this chapter but I need to take time to develop my characters, I really don't want them to be two dimensional. **

**Anyways… I hope everyone had a nice Christmas or whatever you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate anything I hope you had fun anyway. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Christian P.O.V.**

The week dragged and presented itself as one unpleasant shit. It was already Thursday and the flux of paparazzi harassing me has not ceased one bit; ever since the public exposition of those images of me and _the stripper_ they didn't give up to pursue my every move and honestly it's getting kind of annoying.

I've always fought the paparazzi and this public attention, until now I've been pretty successful actually. After all these years of being a discreet and extremely private person, they kind of gave up following my every move which make things easier for Taylor to manage. This week though, everything got out of control and I absolute hate that.

Every since Tuesday I'm being persecute by a sea of people that observe me like hawks, waiting for me to display some kind of insight on my personal life that they could grab and explore to their own proposes. Obviously I've kept my profile low, I don't talk to them, I don't do anything out of the ordinary and most importantly I don't go out with any women which is something that apparently upsets my followers very much.

My week just became instantly sour and everything went downhill for me, I absolutely and utterly hate this kind of things with all fibers of my being. Not only am I being pursue by a group of crazy, overbearing individuals that crave for any slip I may have, the notion that all of this is happening because of my lack of discernment towards _the stripper_ it's like acid being poured on my skin.

Everything just seems out of hand, I can't manage to not have all under my meticulous control. Besides this party I'm attending to is tomorrow and I have a feeling it's not going down so well like it's suppose. I vow to myself that I'd never see _the stripper_ again, that I'd never laid eyes on her again or even think about her. I even stop saying her name in a desperate attempt to forget all about it, her files were instantly destroyed the same day those images went public.

I have to get her out of my head, _look at what she did to you Grey._ This is all because of her, because of something that she manage to put on me and makes me act like a stupid, careless and ignorant teenager that thinks more with his dick then his brain.

After a close analyses' about all, I've come to the conclusion it must be it, I must want to fuck her really bad. That's the only reason I'd would act like this, I don't even know her and even if I did I can't feel something for somebody romantically… I just don't have a heart, that would be impossible so the only logical conclusion is that I'm attracted to her because of her resemble to the crack whore and my regular subs.

It's my own fault that things got this out of control though, she's the reason but I'm the guilty one. It's just that when I was around her I lost all will power, all dominance. I even tried to have something with her in a fucking parking lot, a damn parking lot! And with a sub, I'm in a contractual relation already, I'm monogamous and that's how I'm comfortable.

Or so I thought until I saw her… _Stop thinking about her Grey, can't you even control you own damn head? _ I chastise myself and instantly become mad; I throw something that's on my hand's reach against the wall and its shatters into pieces.

I sigh heavily and deeply, I don't know what to do with myself and tomorrow I'm presenting someone to my family. I've never done that before, that's going to be a hell of a thing to do and even better to watch from the outside.

XXXX

I had to fight a fucking barrier of human bodies with flashing cameras to get to my car, knowing that some people crave this kind of attention it's actually disturbing. The car ride was silent and quickly, Taylor went through some secondary roads he found earlier this week, due to the need of keep those stalkers out of our track.

Once I got to the parking lot a float of memories invade me and I'm frizzed to the spot. I stare vaguely to the place where I stopped _the stripper_ and the car I pinned her against. Something in my chest starts to ache and it's a foreign feeling, I've never felt it and I can't quite place it. My skin shivers to the thought of a pair of little porcelain hands rooming through my hair and soft velvet lips brushing against mine. I could almost smell that intoxicating scent and hear that melodic honey voice.

_Stop being such a pussy Grey_. I shrug when I realize what I was doing; I vow myself to not think about her ever again and especially not reminisce on our little time is raising now and that's the most familiar feeling I have. I've been feeling like this all week now, actually I've been feeling like this all my life and now it just appears to be on its high moment since its all I have inside me.

I rush furiously to the elevator and tap my foot vigorously all the way to my penthouse. I can see Taylor is eyeing me suspiciously but luckily for him, he abstains himself from any comment. I storm out of the damn thing and close myself in my office. I shout before coming in that I don't want to be disturbed for any reason.

Once inside I can't calm down, I don't even understand what's going on but maybe it's the week's issues that came to surface right now. Everything around me seems to be falling apart, I can't think straight and I can't truly do anything right. A sea of unknown and strange feelings crept into me and I can't seem to take them out.

I'm feeling angry about my lost of control and the events that had taken place, I'm frustrated that nothing had gone according to plan and that I couldn't keep my intentions until the end but the foreigner of it all its that I'm feeling sad and nostalgic for reasons I can't figure out.

It's like I have a void inside me that's eating me up; all my emotions, my forces and desires are being sucked by this whole that I'm not sure how to fix.

I decide to drink a little bit; some whiskey might help me clarify this fog I have inside me. I know I'm fucked up, all my life I understood I wasn't a regular person and that I had special needs; all my life I had to fight my weird feelings and fears but I never felt something like this. Whatever it is that's inside me it's brand new and even though I can't even admitted to myself, it's scaring the shit out of me.

_What are you Grey, a little girl? Maybe now you'll want a presence light at night. _My conscious seems to be against me as well but I can't help to chuckle at that thought. I begun to feel more humored until I realized a presence light reminded me of _the stripper_ and how I slept so well with her by my side.

I burry my face in my hands, again I'm chastising myself from letting every thought turn to her but I'm feeling so lonely and coward I just succumb to my weakness. I can't fight it anymore, I need something to light me up a bit, even if it's just momentarily, this dark mood it's killing me slowly.

"Taylor." I shout, flinging open my office door. It doesn't take more than a second until Taylor is emerging from his own office and presenting himself in front of me. "I need the surveillance tapes from Monday."

I don't wait for an answer, actually there's not even anything to answer, Taylor just needs to bring them to me and that's all to it. I thought I'd be stronger but I blame my actions partially on the booze and partially on the debility of my state of mind. That reminds me to call Flynn and schedule an appointment, maybe that's all I need, to pour out all that's going through my head.

When Taylor exits the room placing the tapes in front of me I stop for a moment and stare at them intently. Do I really want to relive all of that again, do I want to reaffirm the memories I so desperately try to erase from my mind_? No you don't Grey, throw them away or burn them to ashes._

I don't do that though, I put them playing. I focus on the leaving room tape, its silence and lonely in there everything feels disproved of life and strange. I stiffed when I see two figures entering the room holdings hands, involuntarily I smile to that sight: she's just so small next to me. I let go of her near the piano and sat down. I can only see our back in the tapes but I can perceive _the stripper_ hesitance before sitting down as well next to me.

Apparently I had begun playing the piano because all I see it's my hands dragging themselves expertly over the long set of keys. _The stripper_ it's still for a few moments, not moving a hair of her body but after a while she tilts her head to the side and I can see a warm smile spread across her face. She has a surprised and satisfied expression placed upon her and the way she looks at me is of pure admiration.

Seeing her smiling and peaceful like that just subsides the ache I have in my chest and warms me inside, I stay silent and motionless all the way until the end of the song. We exchange a few words before I start to play again and even though I can't hear what we're saying I remember our dialogue perfectly. I begin to play again and _the stripper_ stays quite for a while until she suddenly gets up and walks to the middle of the room. Her smile never leaves her face, it's so bright and tempting it's amazing I didn't notice it back then. She looks like she's reminiscing through some memories and graciously begins to dance filling the room with undeniable security and happiness.

Even though it does really light me a bit seeing her dance like that again it also makes me more frustrated about everything. She left me just like that, after everything I had done for her. She left me like everybody does or will do, she's no different. She left me and she doesn't even know me or my fucked-upess. My heart clench in my chest, _you're a sadist and a sour person that's all you gonna get. _

Even though I know that's true it still strikes me hard, every warm cozy feeling I was having dissipates itself and again anger is boiling in me. I got so upset I turn the fucking tape off and walk the hell out of my office. I don't want to see anything more; she's just a whore, a _stripper_ that's rude and cold. I should have never brought her here, she turned everything upside down and now I have to deal with it.

XXXX

_I hide underneath the kitchen table and put a bench in front of me so that nobody can see me. I'm so very scared, I'm shaking but I'm proud of myself too, I'm a smart boy. I put a bench in front of me to hide myself and even though I'm scared I'm not crying. _

_I'm a big boy so I have to keep quite and not say a word. _

"_Come here baby." I flinch to this voice. "Oh, my beautiful whore." _

_My mommy is grabbed from behind and turned around with force, I want to scream for mommy. If put myself in the corner very tightly mommy can come and hide with me, that way she won't get hurt. _

_Mommy is pushed down to the floor and all I hear is a loud noise of her body falling, she's with her back to the floor and her head to the side. I try to move my arms for mommy to see me. _

"_Mommy" I whisper the lowest I can. "Mommy, come here."_

_Mommy doesn't look at me, she keeps looking distractedly to the side while he unbutton his pants; he drops to his knees, pulls mommy dress up and spread her legs open. Mommy doesn't say anything and I don't know if she's sleeping or not._

"_Mommy" I say again, I don't want her to get hurt, she can come in here with me. _

_I only hear a gasp coming from mommy and a growl from him and next thing, he's over my mommy and I close my eyes tightly so that I don't see anymore. _

"_Do you like it?" he asks but mommy doesn't answer him so he slaps her very hard._

"_Answer me bitch!" he yells and slap mommy again on the face. "Do you like it this way?" he keeps hitting me mommy over and over again, on her tights and face and chest and butt. _

"_Do you enjoy this?" the slaps become more intense and he takes the belt off his jeans and starts to whip mommy but she still doesn't say anything. "Answer me bitch, do you like it? Uh? Do you? Answer me!"_

_I cover my ears desperately, answer him mommy, answer him, answer him, mommy please, please mommy answer him, stop this mommy, answer him!_

"Answer!" I scream, waking up startled and covered in sweat.

I sighed it was just a nightmare, just one more from the big collection that keeps me company at night. I can't sleep anymore, not after this. All this memories just keep tormenting me, they never leave and I have a feeling they probably never will.

I get up from my bed with my head aching; I guess I have to thank the drinks I had for that. I go to the kitchen for a glass of water, I could drink some wine but seeing the way I'm feeling right now that's probably not the best choice.

I walk almost numbly to the piano, I didn't even realize I was heading there until I'm siting in front of it playing the first notes of Tchaikovsky's Sawn Lake. The music hit me hard and the truth sink in, I couldn't run even if I wanted to. This girl was burned in my mind, maybe the best is just confronting the whole thing, maybe I should talk to her.

_No, you can't Grey. She left you. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. She did leave me but why, did something happen or did she just have enough of me? Maybe it were those deep oceans that saw through me and saw all my fuck-up past, probably that's it or probably it's nothing and she's simply not interested.

I can't understand what's going on inside my head but my body seems to be acting all independently and without taking notice my song ended and I'm already in another division. I'm siting in my office contemplating the tapes I saw earlier, I try to fight it again but I guess I'm to weak to resist, I put it on and let it roll until I see before my eyes that stunning beauty again dancing in my leaving room.

I can't seem to get enough of that part, she's just so graceful and looks so happy it makes me smile even though I don't want to. I watch it over and over again always until the part where Taylor interrupts us to call me to my office.

I'm seeing her disappointed face when I say nothing and pass through her to attend the call and that leaves me a little sad, I decide to analyze her posture during the time I'm not there. I haven't done it so far because I thought it would be too painful to see her walking away again but I'm determined to watch it until the end, this time.

I gulped for air and stretch myself in my chair, if I going to see this I wanna be perfectly comfortable. I see her confused face looking around, observing everything until suddenly she turns to the stairs. The angle of the security camera doesn't allow me to see past that so I don't see what's happening but apparently she's talking.

Could it be Taylor? No, he told me himself that he went to his office to give her privacy. At first I think I see it all wrong but now I'm certain she's talking to someone, I can see her lips moving and her expression changing from surprise, to anger to _sadness?_ After that all I can see are her shiny eyes and she's taking off.

What the… _Stephanie!_ That bitch, that's the only person who was still there and could be talking to the strip… _to Anastasia_. I correct myself promptly that's why she left, that bitch said something to her that made her leave.

She didn't leave me because _me_, she left because _others_ made her. That thought truly changed my mood though that didn't last long. Fury or anger couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling towards that cunt of a sub I had.

I really didn't control my actions afterwards, I must I broke everything that could possibly be broken in my office until Taylor came rushing inside, probably thinking we were suffering some kind of assault.

"Sir…"

"Call Stephanie, immediately!"

"Sir, it's 3.30 in the morning." Taylor was trying to reasoning with me but I couldn't bear it right now.

"I don't fucking care if its day or night, call her right now!"

XXXX

"Chri… Mr. Grey" A stupid smile spread across her face "Please come in." I had already passed through her before she even invited me.

"Sit down." I didn't, instead I pace around the room like a maniac shooting furious glances towards her, I couldn't stand to even stare at her. "Why are you here at this time? Is it something about tomorrow?"

"There's no tomorrow." I simply stated that, I could kill with just the emotion I had in my voice but I decided it was best if I controlled myself, I didn't want to do something I would regret.

"Oh…" Now I was looking directly at her and I could see the disappointment forming in her face. "Why?"

"What have you told Anastasia?" Again, I kept it short and assertive but my tone leave nothing for doubt, I was demanding an answer.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play coy with me Stephanie."

"I don't know what you're talking about." _God, could she be more infuriating?_ I was in no mood to play around.

"I. Wont. Ask. Again." I deliberately drag my words making every one of them perfectly clear with a lovely note of threatening in the middle.

"I…" Stephanie flinched at my harshness and tears begun to roll down her cheeks, I knew her well enough by now to know she was with deep fear. "You have to understand…"

"Understand what?" My patience was by a thread.

"Christian please…" Stephanie motion forwards but my stare told her to be wise about her moves so she just fell to her knees in a pleading way. "She was no good…"

She was crying inconsolably but I couldn't care less, I needed to know. I don't know if she knows Anastasia name but she clearly understood who I was talking about, she surely couldn't expect that I didn't find out about her little act. She was looking with hope in her eyes, expecting me to end her suffer but I say nothing, I wanted to know and I wouldn't leave this place without an explanation.

"I saw…" between sobs she continues her pleading "I saw you two but she was just acting! Don't you see Christian, see was just using you… it's clear she was just pretending when she did that ridiculous dance!"

I clench my fists tightly, I want to punch something _hard _but I keep them on my sides.

"How can you not see? She's just an opportunist, we belong to each other Christian!"

"What did you say?"

"I… I just said the truth that you're mine and I'm yours." Her crying had become more hysterical and it was hurting my ears but I needed to hear it all. "You just haven't realized that yet but I know you love me Christian…"

I couldn't stand it anymore, I see it clearly now. This delusional person told Anastasia that we were in some kind of romantic relationship and that's why she took off, she probably thought I was using her. Now everything made sense, her disappearance, her hurt, her slap. I was still mad at what she did but now I knew the reason. I approach the door but was stopped by a crazy Stephanie that holds on to my arms.

"I don't love you." I said pushing her again not so gently. "You should know that, I never did and never will. The contract ends right now, don't ever speak to me again."

"Please, don't leave Christian. Please I can't love any others…"

I walk out the house leaving the door open behind me, Stephanie was on the floor crying and yelling that I loved her and she loved me and we should be together. We shouldn't be anything but she definitely should back off of my life. I couldn't believe I've been so blind I couldn't see that this was the reason behind Anastasia's departure.

And to think I even considerate to take this person to a party, _how could I be so blind?_ I must really be crazy if I truly pondered to take this girl, regardless of the reasons. My judgment was not in its best but now, now that everything makes sense I can think clearly again.

I'm still pissed off about the all think and especially with Taylor for letting something like that pass through but now I could finally sigh of relief. For once, control might still be an option for me.

XXXX

I was in front of the same house that I was just a week ago and the same feeling was hovering me as well. I was very reluctant about being here, I couldn't care less about Ethan Kavanaugh birthday or his party but I did want to see Anastasia. I wasn't even sure she would be here; it was just a deduction I made when Elliot told me a childhood friend of Katherine would be here as well.

I had mixed feelings about seeing her but I couldn't deny I wanted it to and I was dead nervous about it as well. I sucked it up, gulped all the air around me, exhaled heavily and mentally crossed my fingers. I didn't know what I was expecting but I was about to find out.

I enter the house and instantly was greeted by a very joyful Robert and an over-smiley Carolynn. By the noise that I was hearing I could tell that everyone was already in here and it didn't take long until Mia came out of the room she was in to scowl me about my lateness.

I kept a fake but breath-taking smile upon my lips while talking to Carolynn and completely ignored my little sister. It didn't take more than a second for the rest of the guests to be at the hallway looking expectantly at me.

At first I didn't fully understand the look they carried on but quickly it sank in, they were waiting for my "date". _I'm sorry to disappoint you, I don't have one, _I thought to myself even though I decided to play dumb and pretend I didn't know everyone was here to greet me because of that.

"Well, where should I put this?" I motioned to the gift I had in my hand once I saw no one was going to say anything.

"Oh, of course dear, silly me." Carolynn said taping her forehead and smiling. "Please, let's go in and you can put it in that table."

I complied and followed her lead to the room she was heading to. I left my present in the table that was already full of them and continue to walk like I wasn't noticing the stares. Ethan was siting in a sofa with some friends of his, we cordially greeted each other and I could swear he squeeze my hand with force in propose.

It was only when I was already sited on a chair that Elliot, apparently, could restrained himself anymore and asked the question everyone was dying to know. "Where's your girl, little bro?"

"I have no girl." I state simply meeting his eyes.

"Then who's that woman who appears with you on those photos, son?" Carrick asks me solemnly, I'm already beginning to get annoyed. I thought this was Ethan big day, not mine.

"That's nobody else business." I state again, this time with more authority in my voice.

"But who is she?" Mia insists trying to pull together some puppy eyes, normally I wouldn't resist my little sister pleadings but this is too much personal to me, no way I'd ever tell them.

"I said that's none of your business so just let it be."

I was getting really upset with this inquisition; everyone was looking at me expectantly hoping I'd say something to enlighten them but that was no where near. Katherine joins the room shortly after the questions begun and she looked at me like she wanted to kill me. Ethan was sharing the same look; I couldn't help but wonder what on hell did the Kavanaugh brothers had against me.

"But…" Mia was trying to push the matter forward but luckily Grace stepped in and appealed to the good sense of everyone, asking them to respect my privacy and to leave it alone. She did say "we'll talk about it later" but I decided to ignore it and just be thankful to my mother for her help.

Eventually they back off but I still got stares even from Mr. and Mrs. Kavanaugh, I couldn't dwell on that now. I was looking frenetically for that "childhood friend" of Katherine but she was nowhere to be seen. Even if it wasn't my Anastasia, there simply wasn't any other person on the room that could be that friend.

_Your Anastasia? What the fuck Grey, you're becoming softer each day, next thing you know you'll have a vagina in your penis's place. _I shrugged those thoughts away even though they were true; she most definitely was not mine. It didn't take more then a couple a minutes until we're all called to the dinning room to begin our meal.

Everything around us is exquisite and I can see they real went all out to give Ethan a great party. We all sit on the places we're indicated and after almost everyone is accommodated I can see there are two chairs that aren't occupied. One of them clearly belonged to my "date" but the other I had no clue and that was intriguing me.

Right after that thought, Katherine enters the room with a very uncomfortable Anastasia. I instantly shift on my sit, _she's here._ And she looks stunning; I keep getting utterly surprised every time I lay eyes on her; I always think she couldn't be more beautiful and every time my memory has proven it does her no justice.

She was wearing a black laced dress that got mid-thigh; it had some fabric underneath it that kept the whole body to be seen but that only covered her chest all the way till the beginning of her thighs leaving the rest of the skin exposed. It wasn't a very flashing dress or even very provocative, it was rather simple but somehow that only amplified her natural beauty. Her hair was swept to the side in some complicated braid which left her back exposed.

My cock was already twitching in my pants since the moment I saw her but it was when I see her naked back, since the dress didn't cover it, that somehow I went crazy. It was just some back and some skin, but the way it looked like ivory and velvet and that seem the most erotic thing to me at the moment.

She sited right in front of me, deliberately avoiding my gaze. That made me mad, I was trying desperately to meet her beautiful eyes but she didn't seem to notice, or if she did she was evading my efforts rather well.

"Oh, Ana there you are" Carolynn smiled gently turning to her "You disappear for a second dear, this is Christian Grey, the other son of Grace and Carrick" she motion towards me like she was presenting us to each other "Christian this is Anastasia Steele, she's a friend of Katherine but she's like a daughter to us."

Anastasia blushed furiously and smile lightly, stretching her arm over the table to greet me and I smirked. I was going to take every opportunity I was given and this was a nice one taking in consideration I'd be touching her.

"Mr. Grey nice to meet you" She was trying to avoid my gaze again but I squeezed her hand lightly forcing her eyes to meet mine, she blushed even further leaving me to wonder what the extension of that blush in her body.

"Ms. Steele is a pleasure" I made sure to say it in a very seductive way kissing her hand lightly. Again a jolt of electricity went through my whole body and all the memories of us kissing came back in, she must have felt it too because she let go immediately of my hand and adjust herself in her chair.

The rest of the dinner went calmly; it was rather tedious to me and all the time I tried to meet Anastasia's eyes she would look anywhere but me, I was getting really frustrated. I didn't even notice what was being put in my plate; all I wanted was some sign from her.

We were already in dessert when I decided to take my chances, I stretch my leg and touch Anastasia's, she stiffs a bit and changes uncomfortably in her chair. She still doesn't look at me and I try that move one more time. I brush my leg against hers, this time lingering longer. My move didn't last long though, suddenly Anastasia pulled her leg back; I thought she had retrieved it but out of the blue a sharp kick hit me between my tights.

It didn't quite hit me on my dick but it was a close call and it hurt like hell, just the same. I growl extremely loudly in frustration and pain, everyone stopped their meal to look intently at me. I tried to ignore but clearly they wanted to understand what had happened. Anastasia head was down and she kept eating her dessert quietly with a smirk upon her lips. _Sneaky little thing_.

"I just hit my knee on the table." I state between anger and pain.

They keep looking at me like I've grown two heads, especially Katherine and Ethan but I just ignored them and kept eating what was in front of me. I really had no appetite at this moment but I decide to pretend. I was truly upset about Anastasia action but I was trying to reason it, could I really blame her?

She thought I was just trying to fuck her while having a girlfriend. _Was that so far from the truth Grey? _My subconscious doesn't seem to get a rest and that upsets me further even though, that's probably right. Sure I didn't have a girlfriend but I did have a sub and I was still trying to have her regardless. I'm truly an awful person, _that's not a new Grey_.

It's true, I was a jerk but I guess that's just something that's on my DNA. Even though I think I just want to fuck her, I can try to be more cordial. Maybe I should explain everything and apologize for leading her on, yes. I'm sure I can win her like that and then, then we'll see what happens.

I'm still in pain when our meal is over and everyone goes to the grand room but I manage to conceal it rather well. Anastasia still insists in not meeting my eyes and my permanent arousal is getting hard to cover, so I'm thinking about ways I could win her and feel comfortable at the same time.

I had the perfect idea once my eyes brush through the piano that's in the room, I ask Robert if someone plays it and he shakes his head vigorously explaining the instrument is only there to give the room some ambiance. I thought that was actually ridiculous but I abstained myself from any comments and instead asked if I could play something. Everyone in the room nodded excitedly and with their approval I sited on the chair and begun to play my piece.

I played the first music I had played for Anastasia Monday morning, and I could see the hesitation on her body, she was clearly struggling with her own feelings and I smirked, I was getting to her. I continue to play, closing briefly my eyes only to open them again and not find my muse present. I kept playing until the end but it was a mechanical action, neither my mind nor my heart was in there anymore.

When I finished everyone cheered me and asked for a second song but I dodge out of it, explaining I needed to rest for a while since it had been a long day for me. Even though they seem disappointed my decision was respected, I could see Grace had on her face a maternal an proud look just as Carrick and that perk me up a bit. I owe them a lot.

Some girl friends of Ethan came to talk to me, clearly trying to pick me up and seduce me. They were not very subtle at it and I do believe a good seduction has subtlety as a primer rule. I excuse myself politely, I had one thing only focus on my mind: find Anastasia.

I wander around the all damn house and couldn't find her, here the hell is she? I was about to give up when I remember to try outside. As I approach the terrace I see a fragile figure sitting on a bench with her head tilted to the side and her own arms cuddling her due the cold of the night.

I get there silently but she notices me and with wider eyes she gets up and tries to pass through me without saying anything. I grabbed her arm quickly, before she could dodge it.

"I think we need to talk." I'm searching frenetically for her eyes, holding her tight.

"I don't" she hisses her response at me and finally succumbs to my greedy gaze, the only thing I can see in her eyes his resentment though.

"I need to explain something." I don't usually insist things nor do I force myself upon women, but clearly this is no usual situation.

"I don't really care to hear it. Maybe you should go explain things to the people inside, they're the ones who want you explanations." She was trying very hard to get rid of my grip but I wasn't about to let her go.

"And you don't?"

"No. I couldn't care less about anything that concerns you."

"You really should let me explain, everything was a misunderstanding. I don't even have a girlfriend." Anastasia eyes grew wider and surprise spread on her face, though it quickly changed to something else.

"Oh, do you really think I'm that dumb?" Hurt was flicking through her eyelashes.

"No, I don't that's why I'm telling you this." I state getting a bit frustrated, couldn't she just complied with me and hear me out all the way until the end?

"I don't want to hear you lying this bluntly to me. You should had just brought your date with you and not be harassing me like that."

"Didn't you hear, I don't have a fucking date." Exasperation was full on my tone right now but she really wasn't making anything easier for me.

"Well that's too bad for you but you shouldn't bother people who do." There was a hint of pride in her voice but my state of anger and frustration was keeping me from hearing her clearly.

"I told you, that was a misunderstood, I don't have a girl…" Suddenly I replayed her words in my mind again and realization sunk in. "You have a date?"

"Er… Yes." I could tell she hesitated answering me for a couple of seconds and when she did it was almost like she was trying to conceal the fact, her voice was barely a whisper and I could tell her posture changed, at least she wasn't fighting my grasp anymore.

"Who is it?" I was trying to sound impartial and unaffected but hurt simply poured out of my voice and I couldn't help but displayed it in my eyes too.

"I..." She was going to say something, maybe just avoid answer me. Anastasia lowered her gaze like she was in some kind of embarrassment but I couldn't care less, I just wanna know. "Ethan."

Her voice was so low I probably wouldn't be able to hear it if I wasn't so closely expecting her answer, it hit me hard that information. She was here with Ethan, all week I've been dwelling on her, on our little time, on what made her leave. I finally found the reason; I thought with all my heart I could even fix everything and explain the situation to her. All this time she was the only thing in my mind, she was all I could think about and here she is, in a party with a date. A date who isn't me, clearly I've being fooling myself it only took her a week to find somebody else, she didn't even thought about me.

I let go of her as quickly as I can, I could even swear she made some gesture to keep me from abandoning her there but she didn't get to touch me. I turned around without a second glance and walk way furiously. _Fuck._

I got back to the leaving room where the conversation was clearly joyful. I joined them even though I had no happy thoughts inside me. I sit at a corner eyeing everyone and drinking two glasses of the strongest brandy on display, like they were shots. I begin on my third observing the guests; they were cheering and chatting loudly. All my surroundings seem to be annoying, I was in my fourth glass, I was really drink it like it was water; Anastasia came into the room minutes later and I was determined to flirt with every girl in the room that wanted my attentions just to prove her that I didn't need her or was affected by her actions. She wasn't my concern and she didn't determinate my happiness so I wanted her to see that, _very clearly._

I was setting my plan on motion, focusing on one girl which name I couldn't recall and putting on me my signature smile when all went downhill. The stripper apologized but said she needing it to leave due to something I didn't catch. I was in shock, _no not now, you can't leave now that I'm going to show you that you can't play with Christian Grey. _

Everyone seem to get a bit sad and tried to pursued her to stay though that was in vain, she said her goodbyes and elegantly walked out of the room. Ethan instantly got up and followed her, explaining he was going to escort her to the door. _Obviously you are, maybe you'll try to have your way with her back there. _

Everything seem to be played in slow motion before my eyes and I got so angry I walked out of the room as well, it was all back to normal and no one seem to notice my leaving. Alcohol was blurring my vision but I refused to be stopped by it. I was determined to give that stripper my piece of mind; she couldn't do what she wanted and walk away without being affected by the consequences.

When I got to the front door it was opened, they were both outside and I could see they were talking to each other extremely closely. That truly got to my nerves, they were almost kissing. _What is he trying to do, rape her?_ Does he have no notion on how to treat a woman whatsoever? _Oh, look who's talking Grey. _I shake my head violently to shut up my own thoughts, I might not be the finest example but I was determined to make that right.

I probably shouldn't have shaken my head though because instantly I feel dizziness inside me. I try to fought it and focus on what's in front of me. It takes an extra effort to focus my vision field but when I do I see Ethan taking a step closer to her and placing his hand on her bare back.

Her back that is full of little scars and marks, her ivory back that's like a map to her story and here he is touching them, brushing his fingers through something so small, so intimate. I couldn't even beginning to explain what hit me next; it wasn't just anger that was building inside me. It was a homicidal feeling that rouse and I could have killed him right in that moment.

I refrained myself from doing that though. I didn't kill him but my body was not responding my head anymore and I begin to walk towards them with pure evil in my expression. I could see Anastasia flinch due to my posture, taking a step back. She was saying something but all my blood was rushing in my chest, where my heart was pounding like bomb and that was all I could hear.

I didn't know exactly what I was thinking but I punched Ethan's face _hard_, so hard his nose begun to bleed uncontrollably. He fell to the floor and growl in pain, the noise was so loud suddenly everyone was outside the house looking at us with complete shock in their faces.

Someone lift up Ethan from the floor and my mother rushed inside the house to help on the curative, all the stares I was given were hurt and disgustful. I couldn't quite place what just happened, it was almost like I had a wave of emotions riding inside me and I couldn't control them. It felt like I was outside my own body, I only remember looking at my own knuckles that were red and with blood of its own.

I looked frenetically for Anastasia; I didn't know what for but I needed to see her.

Maybe to make sure she didn't hate me or maybe just searching for some understanding, everyone entered the house and I was left alone outside or so I thought until I see Anastasia standing strangely at the front door with a shocked look upon her face.

She seemed torn, probably fighting if she should go inside or stay here. My thoughts were a rambling mess but all I could think was, _please don't leave me._

I felt even dizzier like I could fall on the floor, I leaned myself against a wall. _Stay with me, choose me, don't leave me alone._

"Please don't leave me." I said in an almost inaudible whisper, more to myself. Anastasia didn't move an inch and I decided to close my eyes, I couldn't deal with rejection right now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Again, thank you, so freaking much! :)**

**p.s. I'd like to answer to my guest reviews but since that's impossible is just to let you know, I truly appreciate all of them.**

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**Anastasia P.O.V.**

"Please don't leave me alone" It was almost inaudible, like a last breath of air that came out of his lungs but I heard him. I heard him crystal clear like it was water and my heart couldn't help but clench.

I looked deeply at him, unable to move even if I wanted to; he looked so hurt, so fragile I couldn't help but wonder what harms this man had to endure in is life. I know I was mad at him but I couldn't fight the compassion I was feeling towards Christian, he's in need at this moment and regardless of all the wrong he did even I can see he isn't in his best state of mind.

I inhale deeply, he needed help but in here I wouldn't do much good. It was the war that was being planed in the living room that needed to be stopped and that was the best I could do for him. Christian Grey does not want to face the fury of the Kavanaugh's, that's for sure.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." I plead to him in a quiet voice, he doesn't responded back but I'm almost sure he heard me.

I enter the house in a quick pace; Ethan's friends are leaving at this point and a feeling of relief washes through me, I didn't want to have to discuss any personal matters with this people present. Carolynn is apologizing profoundly to them about the all incident and subtly asking for them to keep the events of the nights to themselves. I'm sure they will since they all want to fall in the good grace of Ethan's family so that's one less concern to have. I politely nod to them, acknowledging their leaving, entering the living room right after everyone's out.

Ethan's seated on the sofa, clearly distressed. Blood is all over him, in his face and clothes, his holding some cloth tissue on his nose, putting pressure on it. Mia is sitting on a chair far way from the rest of the people, in some corner of the room, looking rather uncomfortable and probably scared of the consequences her brother may face; Elliot is quiet and appearing to be in deep thought, he doesn't look happy himself but refuses to sit down instead pacing around the big window that covers the garden; Carrick is clearly perturbed about the all thing, I'm sure he's going crazy not knowing why he's son acted the way he did and Grace has a worried look so craved in her expression, is almost painful to watch.

The Kavanaugh's though, they're a different story, all of them has an homicidal look on their faces and are clearly plotting some kind of revenge towards Christian; I get a chill on my spine thinking about that. I want to make things right, I can't stand see all this people like that, especially because maybe somewhat this is my fault?

I mean, I know I didn't punch Ethan, but I did rub it on Christian's face that I was on a date with him. Obviously it was a plan that triumphed since it got under Christian's skin but I had never wished things to escalate this way.

_No, no Anastasia Steele! You will not blame yourself for all the things that happened. If Christian Grey can't deal with rejection it's his problem, he's the one that caused this, not you. _I usually hate my subconscious reprimands but this time I have to agree. It was, after all, Christian's fist in Ethan's face. At least today, it was.

I walk towards Ethan who eyes me suspiciously, probably wondering where I have been. I ignore his cold stare though and place my hand in his arm. He instantly softens his expression and sighs deeply.

"How are you feeling?" I ask gently, with my voice low.

"I guess I'm fine… at least now." He gives me a small smile and I comply with the same gesture.

"You're not fine." A deep voice emerges from the end of the room, Robert is absolute infuriated. "None of this is fine! Christian Grey can't act the way he wants just because he thinks he's some kind of superior being."

"I'm sure…" I try to articulate some argument but I'm interrupted in the precise moment.

"No, I don't care. The only thing you can be sure is that tomorrow morning every newspaper and station in the country will be covering this... this incident!" Robert is pacing around the house, almost spiting his words out.

"Robert, let's just calm down first and talk things through." Grace is just trying to achieve some peace and I quickly back up her suggestion.

"Yes, please let's just try to understand why all of this happened." Carolynn was going to say something to diminish my attempts of reconciliation but I keep talking before she can say anything. "Christian's not even here, the least we can do is hear him out."

"Who fucking cares what he was to say?" Kate yells in exasperation. "He needs to be put out of his pedestal."

"Please, it's no fair to condemn someone without all facts…" I'm getting desperate here, I'm trying to defend this man in any way I can; this man that I'm not even sure deserves my help but still, here I am trying to stop some catastrophe to hit him. "We should at least see what he was to say."

"Anastasia's right. We can't condemned anyone without hear his version, we have to give Christian a chance to explain himself." Carrick is backing me up, holding on to every possibility that could reduce his son's consequences.

I look hopefully towards Robert, who shares a conversation with his son with their eyes only. After a while, an almost imperceptible nod comes from the both of them, allowing me to let go of the breath I was holding so tight. Kate let's out a growl of frustration, clearly she doesn't agree in giving Christian a chance to explain himself but I don't have time to dwell on that. I walk out of the room faster than a lighting bold, walking towards the entrance hoping to find him in a better state.

When I get there though, there's only an empty spot in the place of his body. I let go of a small gasp and tears could almost throw themselves out of my eyes. It's not possible, not after I stand up to the Kavanaugh's, not after I plead for a second chance, for forgiveness.

I was just about to chastise myself for my own stupidity and faith, when I see him entering his car. That man in black was with him again, and he looked like he worked for the CIA or some special ops agency. Maybe he was his security detail but at this point I couldn't care less. I'm not letting this guy walk away after what I did.

I let go of my shoes and start running towards the car, they still haven't pull out of the driveway so I still have a chance of catching them. I know this is crazy, here I am running after a car that's taking away a man that punched Ethan in the face and I'm doing of all this in a desperate attempt of saving his ass.

I don't even fully know why I'm doing this, I just feel like it. I start to run like crazy, speeding up considerably when I see the car beginning to move_, I can't be having all this work for nothing_. He was the one that asked me to stay with him and that's what I'm doing, I'm staying by is side even if not literally.

The car was almost at the gates when I jump in front of it, clearly the man in black was oblivious to my running but still managed to stop the car inches away from me. He gets of his seat and starts to scream at me, I can tell he's beyond angry, not only because something could have happened to me but because I was also putting in danger the _other_ passenger.

I didn't loose any time though, I walked determinedly to the back of the SUV, preparing myself to open the door and drag Christian Grey along with me. I didn't make it that far though; the man grabbed me from behind and was trying to stop me from reaching any further.

"Let go of me!" I shout while fighting his grip, he was incredible strong and was holding me in the air. "I need to talk to Christian"

"Stop it miss! I can't let you do that. Mr. Grey doesn't want to be bother"

_Oh, Mr. Grey doesn't want to be bother, poor thing_. I don't fucking care, he needs to come with me. I swing my legs and arms more violently; the man is struggling hard to keep me in place. I can tell he doesn't want to hurt me and I feel bad for being here giving him such hard time but if he let go of me everything would be easier.

Finally I manage to get to him, my elbow punches his chest strongly and he winces in pain. Clearly he wasn't expecting that move from me and I don't let the opportunity get past by me, I manage to free myself from his grasp and run towards the back door of the Audi. I flung it open and stare widely inside, I see Christian siting there with a sad and thoughtful expression on his body, absolutely oblivious to what was happening outside his ride.

I don't think twice about stepping inside, Christian snaps his head in my direction and his eyes grew wider at my sight, I can't loose time though.

"You have to come with me." I state almost without breath in me.

"I don't have to do nothing." He's trying to be assertive but I can see he's still drunk.

"Come on Christian, they'll try to rip you apart." I motion a hand towards the big house that's behind the car and place my other hand in his lap. "Come with me, maybe with can work things out"

He flicks his eyes between my hand in his lap and my face, he's obviously struggling with himself but now it's not the time to be stubborn. He just needs to come, try to explain the situation the best he can, apologize and maybe things won't escalate to unnecessary proportions. He just needs to see that himself.

"Please, just apologize and everything can be put behind" I insist squeezing his leg a little.

He flinched his leg away from my touch and stare me deeply in the eyes, I could tell he was not recovered from his drinking adventure but was trying extremely hard to make the rational calls.

"I won't do that." Even though he was not fully himself he seemed sure of what he was saying. "You're wasting your time here."

"Don't…" I was gonna start to present the arguments that showed him he was just being a stubborn ass and that was not in his best interests when a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the car.

"I'm sorry sir, she caught me off guard." The black man said towards Christian closing the door and putting more distance between him and I. "You heard him miss, he doesn't want to be bother right now so please, let us go."

I was in shock; all of this was somewhat surreal. I've done all of this, I've defend him in front of the only people I can call family, I tried to get him a out of this mess even though he was the only one to get himself into to it, I run after his SUV, I fought his security man and I even jumped in _front of his freaking car; _all of this to be told to go away, to not lose my time. Can this be truly real or just some fucked up dream I can't seem to wake up from?

The wind hit me in the face, causing me to shiver, it was really cold and that answered my question. It was real, this was Christian Grey doing. I should have never bother so much with the all thing but for moments I thought I had seen a softer, vulnerable side to him that I couldn't turn my back on.

I nod towards the man in black, it's not his fault. He's just fulfilling his orders, I don't know what is up to me lately but apparently I'm on a marathon of slapping and punching men. I feel bad about that so I try to make emends the best way I can, I'm sure I didn't hurt him very much it was more the fact that my blow caught him off guard but still I hit the man and I need to apologize for that.

"I'm really sorry about the all thing…" I motion towards his chest, measuring closely my words.

"Its okay miss, I understand it wasn't on propose. Now if you excuse me… you really should go back inside."

I listened to his advice and turn on my heels immediately, I didn't want to see them leaving. I didn't want to see Christian Grey abandoning the all thing, derogating my efforts. I felt so stupid, I could almost be ashamed of myself but I refused self-pity. If anyone was in bad sheets, it was not me.

I began to run again, this time towards the house. I tried to give a second chance and he refused, none of this was my fault so I needed to shake the disappointment out of me. The fresh air helped me recomposing myself and once I got to the entrance of the house I pick up my shoes and put them back on.

I straighten my spine and lift my chin; I was going to walk in there with confidence and assurance. The moment I place one foot on the room, all the heads snap back at me looking intrigued. They all analyze me deeply as if I'd have any answer or solution to present to them. I didn't though, I could have only brought Christian Grey and even that I failed to do.

"Where's Christian?" Robert asks, clearly losing all his patience. I can't blame him now, I understand that he doesn't want to lose time.

"Yes, where's _Christian?_" Kate mimics her father, pronouncing Christian's name in a disgusting way. He obviously made his way to her black list and isn't going out of there anytime soon.

"I…" I was uncertain of what of say, I gulped for air and took a deep breath trying to find a way to break the news, suddenly I'm feeling very nervous. "Christian is…"

"Here" A deep, rough, velvet voice completes my sentence and for some reason I feel my confidence coming back to me again.

I turned around to see him standing in the doorstep looking intently to everyone; I can't help but give him a small smile. I'm just glad he found reason in the meantime. He looks at me as well and we lose each other in our gaze, not breaking eye contact once. It's almost as if we were talking just between us, clearly we lingered too long on our inner dialogue because it was Robert's cough that snapped me out of that trance.

"Seat." He stated with pure anger in his voice.

Clearly Christian wasn't a fan of receiving orders, I noticing it was hard for him to comply to Robert's demands just like that, but luckily he did as he was told and seat himself on an armchair in front of Ethan. I follow his footsteps and sited myself on the other one next to him.

The room felt silence for a moment, no one dare to say anything. The tension was so big, a butter knife would be able to cut it. It almost looked like Ethan and Robert were measuring they're strength towards Christian with only their gaze. Christian didn't back up though, I could tell his was sweating and looked paled but he wasn't one to demonstrate weakness in him, regardless of his conditions.

"Well, are you gonna to say something to defend yourself or what?" Kate yells in exasperations, I guess she's not known for her coolness in these situations.

"It was all a misunderstanding" Christian states simply after looking intently in Kate's eyes.

_Misunderstanding_… he does keep using that word a lot today. Maybe he has a word-of-the-day calendar and today is this one. Who knows? I almost chuckled at that thought, but manage to quickly get a hold on myself. Now is not the time to laugh about anything I thought, but Kate managed to contradict that.

She laughed producing a bitter and evil sound, she obviously didn't believe that excuse and neither did the rest of the Kavanaugh's, to win redemption Christian would have to do better than that.

"Oh, I see." Robert voice is, too, in a bitter tone. "And please enlighten me, in what part of the _misunderstanding _did your fist ended up on my son's face?"

"I'm clearly not in my best conditions." Christian stopped for a while, probably measuring his words. "I actually think it's fair to say I'm inebriated so when I went outside, I misread the situation."

Yes, he is inebriated and I can tell he's not feeling well but he sure as hell can still be one fucking eloquent person, I guess he's truly born to be a businessman since even when he's not in his best conditions he manage to make coherent thoughts and create somewhat valid arguments.

"Why were you even outside, for starters?" Ethan asks out of the blue, clearly annoyed about the all thing. I can tell he hates Christian too and that's something that isn't going to chance soon.

"I was leaving because like I said, I'm not in my best condition and I can recognize that." If that's true or not, I guess I'll never know but Christian's face has the most serious and hard expression upon and no one would be able to tell if he was lying at this moment.

"Oh, that's precious." Ethan let's out a laughter in the form of a growl. "And why didn't you leave then? What did you _misread_ of the situation that made you acted the way you did?"

"I though you were taking advantage of Ms. Steele" Again Christian was the most serious he's ever been, making me really wonder if he truly felt that.

A symphony of gasps is all we hear next, Christian doesn't take his eyes from his interrogator and I could almost see smoke coming out of Ethan's pores. I can understand the implications of his statement and the indignation Ethan's and his all family are feeling right now. Probably this isn't going to make things better but I was crossing my fingers that somehow this excuse would be enough to justify what led Christian to punch Ethan, and proceed into forgetting the whole thing.

"What the fuck are you saying Grey?" Ethan is now on his feet, tossing is cloth to the floor and I flinched in my seat. I've never seen him so angry like that. "Are you fucking insinuating I was taking advantage of Ana?"

Christian doesn't move an inch and certainly doesn't say another word; he keeps staring at Ethan almost like he was analyzing his behavior. I can feel the tension building up even more and it's becoming unbearable.

"Do you even now how long I know her?" Ethan starts pacing around the room, shouting at the top of his lungs. "You don't fucking know anything! I know Ana since we're little kids, how dare you _fucking piece of shit_ even say that I was taking advantage of her? Unlike you I don't judge people just because of their jobs!"

At these words I hold my breath; I could almost feel the room spinning around me. I clutch my dress in my hand and squeeze it so hard it could tear it up. I close my eyes as if that gesture would stop him from say anything else, or at least me from hearing it.

He can't say anything else, internally I'm making a plea to whatever or whoever would respond to it, I'm asking vehemently and with all my strengths to the Universe to make Ethan's mouth shut up. Robert and Carolynn don't know what I do, it's not because I'm ashamed of being a stripper or something like that; it's just that they really are like a family to me but, at the same time, they already did a lot and more than I could ever ask for.

They've always supported me and helped me whenever I needed it and I know that if they knew what I do, they'd do everything they could to take me out of there and fix me something else to work on. I understand that action would be driven just by the care they share for me but it would also mean that, once again, they would be doing something for me. I can't bare to have anymore favors in depth with them; not that I think they'll ever call to collect them, but still if life taught me anything is that my independence is something I can't put a price on.

I strongly value being able to support myself and being able to do my own choices even if they're wrong in the eyes of others. So even though Kate and Ethan are aware of my profession, their parents aren't and I'd like it to keep that way. I don't want other people making decisions for me or trying to give me things I can't accept, like other professional careers. I'm happy the way things are and I would like to keep that way but Ethan's anger is about to damage everything if he doesn't shut the hell up.

Christian's face becomes livid at Ethan's words as well and that detail doesn't go unnoticed, instead it helps in his infuriating rating.

"Oh yes Grey! I'm not the one that thinks I can talk down on people just because I consider myself superior!" If words could hurt physically, I'm sure Christian's would be comatose by now giving the way Ethan's pronouncing each one of them.

"I never did such thing" That's the only thing Christian manages to say.

I could so easily refute that sentence it's incredible, that's a complete lie. I mean, almost. He did talk down on me but I guess I did contribute to that. But then again he did it again several times and I have innumerous incidents to point out. I shrug those thoughts away, now is not the time to dwell on that; even if I do have something that proves that Christian acted that way, I can't put more fuel to the fire nor do I want to.

"Don't be a fucking liar Grey!" Kate yells getting closer to Ethan, as to protect him. "We both know you did more than just talk down on people, you're a fucking disgusting person kissing Ana in the damn parking lot with your girlfriend waiting for you at home!"

My mouth fells open, the rooms gets so silence I can almost hear the heartbeat of everyone in there. No one dares to say a word; the only constant sound is Kate's panting for air, after her erratic speech. I can't even begin to express what I'm feeling at the moment.

I can see by the corner of my eye that Christian's shocked too. Robert's eyes are jumping between me and him in pure disbelief; Carolynn is leaning against a wall with one hand placed on her chest, panting for air as if she were about to pass out; Grace mouth is as open as one can be and she seems unsure about how to react to this new information; Mia is also stupefied looking at us as if this was all a big set up or something like that; Elliot is looking surprised at his brother like this was a all new person they were talking about and he didn't knew who the man sited on the armchair was; luckily I couldn't see Carrick but I could bet he was just as admired and astonished at this discovery as everybody else.

I felt like I couldn't breathe for a second, I saw Carolynn and Robert judgmental stares at me, almost as if they were expecting me to confirm or deny the all thing; I didn't do anything of that, though.

I was so mad I couldn't even begin to talk, sure all of this had me in the middle but it wasn't _me_ who punched Ethan's face so my business were mine only; it was none of Kate's or Ethan's right to bring that up just to back up their arguments or to justify their anger. I could understand the way they were feeling, that they wanted to deprive Christian of every excuse or way-out he could have out of this mess; I could relate to that even though I was trying the help the _enemy_ side but none of that should give them the opportunity to bring out things that I confined on them, at my most vulnerable moments; things that I trust them with and now are out in the open for both families.

It hurt me deeply that they didn't have my side in consideration, that they wanted to hurt Christian so bad they didn't even stop to think if they were doing the right thing or hurting some else along the way. But they did, they hurt and embarrass me, taking advantage of information I had supply them with, to use in their favor.

I stood up not once glancing at Christian, every pair of eyes was set on me. I was about to gulp but my troth was dry as sand and I forbid myself to look weak under this intense scrutiny. I lift my chin, instead, and with great effort manage to stare Kate and Ethan solemnly in the eyes. Kate's looking suspiciously at me, trying to measure how I'll react; I can tell she understands that maybe she shouldn't have said those things but she thinks that the reasons that led her to do it are strong enough to back up her actions. I disagree though.

"Let's go home Christian." I'm not even sure of what I said until the words are out of my mouth, I was forcing myself to speak something and that was the first thing that my voice managed to produce. I still wasn't looking at Christian, I could tell he was surprised at my words too – just as the rest of the crowd – his head snapped immediately at me but I didn't meet his gaze.

I kept looking forward; Christian instantly follows my cue and gets himself up as well. I don't say another word, everyone is looking at me astonished, especially the Kavanaugh siblings – probably they thought I would stick to their side and back up their affirmations but they're clearly wrong about that.

I turn on my heels and walk in the most gracious and fast way I can out of the damn door. At the entrance of the room is he man in black, who nods at me as I made my way pass him. I don't turn around but I can hear perfectly Christian footsteps behind me. The man in black followed us too, as we made our way outside.

I was going incredibly fast and was surprised at myself for not stumbling along the way; I didn't even thought about anything else. All that were in my mind was getting away from here, step away from this mess, clear things out in my head.

I was going so absorbed in my own mind I didn't even take notice that this fast pace was just making things worst for Christian; it was just when I heard his security man run to him, that I realized walking so quickly made him feel even sicker. I chastised myself; I had completely forgotten that he wasn't feeling very well, since he was plain drunk.

We were almost at his SUV though, and the man managed to get Christian there with no problem; I was at a dilemma at this point, where should I go? Sure, I told Christian we were going home, but what does that even mean? _Where is home?_ I guess there are two different places we could go, since there isn't one common to the both of us.

I was about to ask the security man to take me to my place when I felt bad about leaving Christian like that; he was sick and it was is own fault but then again, last week was my own fault too and he still took care of me. It's hard for me to decide what to do, one side of me wants to go home and crawl in my bed, forget about everything that happened and just keep up with my regular life; while the other side wants me to help this guy out, regardless of how illogical that is.

Yes, he treated me somewhat bad – but I already established that somehow that can be my fault too for giving him a hard time; he kissed me while having a fucking girlfriend – but now I'm not sure anymore, he says he doesn't have one, I say I'm just damn confused; he punched someone who's like family to me – but essentially was my date; and the list can go on and on for a ridiculous amount of time but for some unbelievable reason, I want to help him out. I'm not sure if he'll have some one that can take care of him when he gets home so I wanna make sure he's okay.

I don't get it why I'm so damn attracted to this man, it's not even physically anymore; it's everything that seems to pull me towards him as if it was gravity.

"Excuse me… sir…" I direct myself to the security man; I don't know his name so I drop my sentence in the middle.

"It's Taylor ma'am." He says walking to the driver's door, after making sure Christian's safe in the back seat.

"Okay Mr. Taylor, I'm Anastasia" I say giving him a small smile, I'm still embarrassed about our earlier encounter. "Would you mind taking me to Christian's house? I just wanna make sure he's okay."

"It's just Taylor ma'am and I know who you are." He says giving me a little smile as well. "And of course, it would me more than fine"

I nod at him, _he knows who I am?_ Yes, surely Christian had told him since he saw me last time I was in his house right before that bitch… _the bitch!_ I almost forgot about her, what if she's there? She was last time and even though Christian said to me he didn't have a girlfriend, how can I know that for sure?

_You can't! _I shrug, realizing that. She'll probably be there, regardless of what she is, just like she was last time. My subconscious is chastising myself for even think about taking care of Christian since he probably has that bitch to do it for him. My head hurts like crazy and I can't seem to think anything straight.

I hoop on the passenger seat, since Christian's all sprawl in the back of the car. I sighed, I don't want to snoop around for information like a crazy person but I have no alternative, I need to know because if she's going to be there, there is no way in hell I'm going to put myself in that kind of humiliation again.

"Ergh… Mr.…. I mean Taylor." He already begun driving but I can see he glances suspiciously at me, from the corner of his eyes. I gulped and try to control my voice_, damn it Ana, don't sound so nervous! _"Is the girl… Is Christian's girlfriend going to be there?"

"Mr. Grey doesn't have one." It takes him a minute to answer and when he does I just nod; now I'm more confused, _maybe Christian was telling the truth?_

I don't say anything else and after a brief moment of silence, Taylor decides to continue his elementary explanation "That… she wasn't his girlfriend and she won't be there. Ever."

I sighed of relief, I guess he really doesn't have a girlfriend. _Then who was that girl?_ I don't know and I can't seem to find a suitable explanation, I'll just have to wait until Christian's recovered to ask him. Right know I'm just glad she won't be there and that I'll have no more complications for one night.

The car journey was fast, or at least it felt like it. I was so distracted by the surroundings, observing the night city life that only when my door was open I noticed we were in our destination and Taylor was waiting for me to get out of the car.

"I…" I stumble a bit but quickly recuperate. "Thank you."

Taylor gets Christian by his arms and the three of us make our way to the elevator, walking down the parking lot I can't help but glance at the spot where Christian pinned me against a car; I instantly feel my lower belly tightening at this thought but I shrug the memories away, now is not appropriate.

XXXX

Christian's already in his bed, Taylor laid him there and he just went off faster than a switcher. Taylor said that if I needed anything I should let him know, showing me his office and retreating after. I'm currently alone in this big and empty penthouse and I don't know what to do with myself.

I wanted to make sure he got home already and got everything he needed, and here he is, in his home and with everything on order. I'm not doing anything else here, I should leave but somehow I don't have the strength to do it.

I'm so out of my element is crazy, I wander for a bit until I decide to sit on the balcony thinking things through. Do I have a right to me mad at Kate or Ethan? Am I betraying them by being here, in Christian house? He did punch Ethan's face and that's an unexplainable action to have, Ethan is like a brother or maybe more… No, not more in my eyes but probably I mislead him by accepting his date "plan". Did I just fuck up everything by walking away? They are my only family or at least the closest thing I have to one, they had no right to expose my intimate life, to expose my pain but should I understand why they did it?

Oh, so many questions are rumbling in my head and I know nothing; I can't seem to find a solution or a way out. I don't know what's right or wrong, what I should do to make things better. To top it all, I'm in Christian's Grey penthouse uninvited, crying like a baby and without the driven to walk away.

I whip away my tears, the view for up here is breathtaking, I could picture here nice dinners and long night chats with a glass of whine and some blankets or early breakfast with the morning breeze caressing the skin and the sunrise painting the skies. I sighed, it's truly lovely up here but none of this is mine and I'm sure I won't pass here another moment.

Shaking every thought out of me I decide I should go do something besides agonize over this, tomorrow I'll be able to think clearly about these things – or at least I hope so. I pass by the kitchen to get a glass of water and walk towards Christian room. He's laying there in the bed fully clothed, only covered by one thin sheet, with his hair all messy and looking quite peaceful and undeniably adorable.

I smile, he appears rather cute when he's not oozing all that power and authority out of him, certainly looks younger than normal. I go to the bathroom I so _fondly_ got to know, apparently everything is back in its place; there are no signs of the damages that were made Monday. I look intently for some Advil and when I find it, I place the glass of water and the pill on Christian's nightstand.

I walk out of the room in feather-light footsteps, not wanting to take the chance of waking him up. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyelashes open but I sure as hell don't want to be presumptuous and lay myself in Christian's bed. I couldn't do that, he's not even conscious; I can't know if he would approve my action.

I go to some room that's on the side of his office – or at least what I assume to be his office. It's a cozy room with a big TV screen and some big and comfortable looking couches. I don't think twice, I turn the television on and let it be in the first channel that appears; I lie over the big couch and cover myself with some blanket that was settled nearby. I don't know what happens next since even before I know it, I'm deep asleep.

XXXX

I feel like I'm floating in the air, I'm so warm and comfortable. I feel like I'm wrapped in a strong blanket that's incredible cozy. I snuggle closer to it, almost feeling protected.

I only had the _sensation_ but once I realized I was truly being lifted up, panic started to get in me. I tried to open my eyes but my eyelashes weighted tons and I didn't have the strength to do it.

"Shhh." I hear his velvet voice and calmness comes through me immediately, at this moment I'd even trust him with my life.

He takes me away from the couch and into his bedroom, I can't open my eyes but I feel he doesn't have a shirt on anymore. He probably changed for something more comfortable and once he laid me smoothly on the bed, he does the same for me.

I want to fight it and do it myself or even don't do it at all, but at this point my physical state is so debilitated I couldn't fight anything. He takes my shoes off first and rubs my feet gently, I let out a moan of pleasure, this was the best thing anyone could do after a day like this; I hear his breathing get heavier and a sound that seems a growl comes out of him.

He doesn't stop though, delicately he embraces me in his arms, lifting slightly my body and taking my dress out, I feel much lighter like this and even though I'm not totally conscious I'm glad I have a thing for nice lingerie and I'm wearing a lovely set of black laced bra and thong.

He groans loudly and passes his hands down the sides of my body, I tilt my head back. This feels so good I could orgasm just by his innocent touch. He massages my legs and arms for a long period of time until I'm in a pure state of bliss. I'm almost drifting away to my much needed it sleep, when he stops the massage and lies down next to me.

He places me on my side and pulls me towards him, my back to his chest. It just feels so right that I snuggle closer against his hard body and lean my head back. He cuddles me into his embrace, placing an arm around my waist and keeping me extremely close. He rests his head on mine and buries his face in my messy hair.

I'm so tired I don't have full conscious of what's going on, I'm almost asleep and the last thing I feel is Christian inhaling deeply my scent. I smile, unconsciously.


	14. Chapter 14

**Christian P.O.V. **

I saw her mouth popped, and I almost feared her jaw would break. That comment shredded me too, not that I felt like I owe anyone an apology or that I should feel bad about them thinking I was a jerk.

Hell, _I was a jerk_. So it didn't make any difference for me if they possessed more knowledge on that fact.

But I saw, I saw the wave of excruciating pain that went through those oceanic irises and I couldn't help but clenched my fist into, what it felt like, two brick walls ready to hurt the person who caused so much damage to Anastasia. I could even feel the stabbed that she felt on her own heart and I had to control each ounce of me to remain still and quiet while I witness the devastation and the feeling of betrayal that my little savior was going through.

If I had doubts about being sorry to hit Ethan's face, they dissipated themselves now. I wasn't.

Actually, that wasn't true. I was, only I was sorry I didn't do more damage. How could someone expose what clearly was confined to them in an intimate moment? They were taking advantage of private knowledge to hurt me, neglecting the collateral damages that could come out of that.

Little did they know that couldn't affect me. Those words, even though punctuated with such ferocity and anger didn't caused me any pain. I couldn't care what they thought; I didn't like them either so if the feeling was mutual, I'd be perfectly okay with that.

It was the fact that they hurt the only person that stayed by my side even though she didn't have to; the only person that had all the reasons in the world to turn her back on me and leave me to fight my own battle but still didn't do it, and instead was rooting for me, trying to make emends for me.

The only one that saw an ugly moment of me and didn't run away from my sight and here they were, shredding her heart into pieces.

I could tell she was at ease with the Kavanaughs, that they were like a family to her. During the course of the dinner I understood that she was like a family member to them as well, _maybe more to that prick_. But still, she trusted and loved them and now they broke that confidence she had given. They broke her apart, confusing her feelings.

Clearly they were expecting that Anastasia confirmed what they were saying, that she stood by their side. What they were asking of her was, obviously, making her sad and revolted.

_How did I suddenly become so aware of her feelings?_ I didn't know, probably it was the alcohol in my system that was making me softer and open to that, it was clear I was just a big mess inside me and that's the only reason my inebriated brain found at the time.

Anastasia stoop up, breaking the dark silence in the room with her heels. She was staring intently at hers so called friends while all eyes were travelling from between the both of us, judging and evaluating the situation. I could feel the extreme surprise all of this provoke on my family. Initially they think I'm gay, then they see a picture of me and some girl on the newspapers and then they hear that, not only was I doing public demonstrations of affect – or at least desire – but I was also toying with two women, having one girlfriend and cheating on her.

Obviously the facts weren't straight, maybe the truth was boarding on that description but it was nothing like they imagined. Still, even if slightly altered, the whole thing seemed to have deep impact on them and their perception of me. I didn't believe they hated me like the Kavanaughs, but clearly they were seeing a side of me, they couldn't know it existed.

"Let's go home Christian." When Anastasia's words hit me I felt dazed, _what? _I looked up at her, trying to meet her gaze, understand what she meant. _Understand if she meant it. _But she refused to meet mine; I realized she wasn't going to look at me so I stood up not wanting to let her down.

I was so surprised words failed my mouth, when she saw me up on my feet she didn't hesitate in turning around and walk out of the room. I felt dizzy, with everything that happened and with this utter shock I was almost frozen to the spot.

My brain functions recover though, and I mimic her action, turning on my heels and following her with large steps to catch up. Taylor was fulfilling his duty on the door of the living room, waiting for me and now for_ us. _

"_Let's go home Christian_." Her words kept replaying themselves at my head, what did that meant? She was coming home with me? I didn't want anything more than that to happen but I didn't know if she meant it that way. The booze was fogging my thoughts and making it very complicated to thing straight. She was walking so damn fast I couldn't accompany her pace. I was trembling on my steps, trying to gather the necessary strength to catch her and ask this now permanent question on my mind.

I tried so hard to get to her, that my feet finally gave in to my state and failed me. I was almost falling to the ground when Taylor's arm grabs me by the waist and pulled me up. He lifted my other arm around his neck and almost drags me to the SUV. I see Anastasia turning around startled by the rushed noises and a worried expression clouds her face.

I wanted to tell her that I was okay, to not worry about me but somehow my vocal cords refused to work and my mind kept drifting away, leaving me in a state of almost unconsciousness.

I felt that I was being put in the car and then all became a flash of lights and sounds, voices murmuring in the background, images spinning in my head, the world moving fast around me. I was somehow aware when the car stopped and I begun to be carried away again. The same feeling invaded me and only when my body hit something soft and warm, I was able to relax and close my eyes.

XXXX

"Don't go!" I wake up almost jumping out of bed.

Sweat was drenching my all body and when I looked down I was still fully clothed. In the clock by the nightstand marked 2.34 a.m. Another nightmare, I was used to them except this one wasn't a regular. This one was a whole new feeling and I didn't like to experiment new feelings like this.

I got up and shook the clothes out of me as if they burned my skin. I needed a cool shower to calm down and recuperate. This night has been intense and I didn't have the time to fully process it. I suffered such violent swing moods I couldn't even understand them. One moment I'm feeling sorry for not realizing what went wrong with me and Anastasia, trying to explain the things to her; next minute I'm feeling tremendous rage towards her, thinking of ways to punish and hurt her too; then, the moment after I'm possessed by an inconsumable feeling of jealously.

God, I couldn't quite put it down all of what happened. Just one think kept puking in my mind, _she didn't left. _And even though my subconscious was making me feel like that wasn't something with much relevance I shut down those thoughts. With facts there were no arguments and the fact is: she stayed. She stayed by my side and she helped me in a way I never thought she would.

I sighed and stepped out of the shower. That's probably why I was having this dream, this nightmare that she left me and didn't come back. The way that action affected me also frightened the hell out of me. She had an inconspicuous power over my being, one I couldn't deny.

If she leaves, it would break me all over again like it did when she left Monday. Only this time it would be worst because I can't hide or suppress these feelings, now that I acknowledge them.

I put on a pair of sweat pants and no shirt, I wasn't cold and I had others worries in my mind. Had she left my house again? Why wasn't she in my bed? If she had left I didn't even know what I would feel, so before I got to the bottom of that I decided to have a glass of brandy.

I know drinking again wasn't the wisest thing on earth but I needed some help dealing with all this unknown and strange sensations I was having. When I did that, I intended on finding Taylor and asking him about Anastasia.

I was just passing my office when I saw the door to my TV room slightly opened. I wonder why it would be that way since I never went there and stepping in, I found the reason.

Anastasia was laying on the couch, covered by some blanket, fully dressed as well with a tiring and extenuated expression on her. Her brows were slightly furrowed and I found that the little "V" they formed, was the most adorable thing I ever saw.

She didn't leave me again, _she stayed_. And she shouldn't be in this damn couch; I pick her up feeling the little weight of her body in me. She tried to open her eyes but couldn't and panic settle in. I needed to thank her; I needed it to reciprocate what she had done for me and for that, I needed to reassure her that she was safe.

"Shhh." I whisper gently to her, embracing her body in my arms. She gave in easily; she rested her head on my chest and let me carry her all the way to our destination, my bed.

When we get there I started to strip the clothes of her, I wanted to feel her, to feel her body, her perfect and marked body. I could see that she tried to resist my attempts but tiredness was too deep inside her. She gave in once again and I take that chance to pay her for what she did.

I took her shoes first, putting them smoothly on the floor. Her feet were small and adorable, her toes little and pink. They were so beautiful, just like her; I couldn't resist myself from rubbing them gently. She needed this, she needed to be taken care off right now and I could provide for that.

She let out a moan of pleasure that penetrate immediately my ears leaving my breathing erratic. The sounds she makes are one of the most powerful aphrodisiac I ever experience and I couldn't help but remember when we made out in the garage, the little whimpers she made that went straight to my groin.

I produced a sound too, unable to contain myself but mine was more of a primitive growl than anything else. Now I really couldn't stop, I wasn't going to take advantage of a fragile, wooden woman but I needed to see her. Delicately I embrace her in my arms and lifted her body, managing to make her sinful dress slide down.

Again a groan leaves my throat before I'm able to stop it; she's just so damn perfect it hurts. It hurts physically to look at her proportional, porcelain body and not tear apart that wonderful set of lingerie she's wearing.

I manage to control my impulses though, I wasn't going to force her into anything but I wasn't about to let go if her feel either. Instead, I just started to massage he arms and legs, sliding smoothly my hands down and up the sides of her body. Her skin was just so soft it was almost like silk, the most pure and amazing silk. I couldn't stop my hands from touching her and neither did I want.

I could tell she liked it by the way her body was reacting; it looked like she could almost orgasm just by my touch. That thought made me so hard it hurt me, I contemplated doing it. Making her come just by rubbing her skin but I didn't want that, I was becoming too greedy. I wanted all of her; I wanted her to climax full conscious that it was me and my touch that was making her feel that.

When she was almost full asleep I stopped my actions, I wanted her to fell asleep with me holding her, not leaving her either, demonstrating my gratitude. A tit for a tat is not usually my style but somehow along the way this girl came into my life and changed the rules of my game, I didn't even understand that until now.

I cuddle her into my body, molding her to me. I turn her to the side and pull her towards me, my chest to her back. It just felt good, like she belonged right here with me. I rested my head on her hair, it was just so soft that I couldn't help.

Her scent still intoxicated my every pore and I couldn't seem to be able to remove it, instead I inhale deeply as if I was pulling all of her being into me. She smelled divine and that was the last thing I remember.

XXXX

I wake up my Saturday morning with a woman voice being raised down the hall. I flinched in my position and tried to ignore it.

I found another body glued to mine and it took me a minute to figure out it was Anastasia that was resting by my side, a breath-taking beauty. I definitely wouldn't mind have that sight in front of me every day, and the warmth that her body exuded made me almost nuzzle back into sleep.

I wasn't allow to it though, the woman just kept talking each time louder and angrier that the time before and I didn't want Anastasia waking up to that. I got up from bed quickly glancing at the clock, it was almost ten in the morning. Again, I couldn't remember ever sleeping this late. This woman seemed to have some sort of sedative effect on me.

I went as I step out of bed, with my sweat pants and my bare feet only putting a t-shirt to cover my bare chest. When I got to the living room I feared who this woman might be, I was still too much asleep to recognize her voice and it could be anyone.

Anyone out of my share of recent women and that was very not a very long list; either it would be Elena or worst, Stephanie. I sighed when I stepped in, almost closing my eyes. I didn't wanted to deal with all their shit right now.

When I saw who my visitor was though, my posture changed. _Now, that_ I wasn't expecting. Especially since she was so damn angry and upset, I sighed internally I didn't wanted to deal with this kind of shit either.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, young man." Her voice was full of determination.

"Mother" I greeted her while trying to convey her intends of extracting information out of me. "Now it's not really a good time."

"Oh, no!" She shook her head violently in a decisive way. "You're not going to alienate me this time. You have some serious explanations to give."

"Mom, this…" I began my regular speech that my businesses were mine only and I'd work things out, when she cut me off sternly.

"Don't you even try to say that this is none of my business." Grace shots me a glare that froze me to the spot, she's really serious about this. "I know you're a closed person and you need your own boundaries and all you life Christian, I've respect that. I gave you all the privacy you needed I didn't intrude or force you onto share anything with me."

I gave her an annoyed look, this really wasn't the time. I just realized last night that I was afraid of Anastasia running away from my life and that I like to sleep with her in the same bed which is something itself worth debating a long time. Like that wasn't enough, my mother wanted explanations of my private life. Something I didn't share easily but even though the non-friendly expression on my face, Grace didn't seem offended by it and instead just kept presenting her arguments.

"I also know you're perfectly capable to solve things on your own but this time Christian, this time you can't keep me out. You're behavior was unforgivable, you put at risk your business and your all career over that action. That's not like you." She gave me a look more kindly this time, stepping a few inches closer. "Finding out about your… affairs was incomprehensible either. I am you mother Christian, I have the right and the duty of helping you on this. So please, don't shut me down."

I inhale sharply, she was almost pleading. Her anger and frustration almost dissipated, all that was in her eyes now was care and concern. Grace did so much for me all my life, she saved me. She was like and angel, I remember thinking that and she still is. I can't deny her the mother role she's trying to have in my life. She's right, I can't shut her down this time.

"Let's go to my office." I nod to Taylor, who stepped out of the room. Clearly he had a hard time stopping my mother from storming in my bedroom and for that I was thankful. I'm sure the conversation wouldn't go so smoothly if she entered my room upset and found Anastasia in bed with me.

I opened the door of her and let my mother step in first, closing it carefully behind me. I offered her something to drink but she refused. I was hoping to buy me some time from the interrogation I knew I'd be submitted to. This was a big step for me, to discuss private and personal things with my mom. And even though I knew this was probably a good thing, it was costing me tremendously.

"So, what do you wanna know?" I asked Grace after sitting myself in my chair. Being in my place – in the office where I ruled and command my matters, gave me an illusion of control and that was something I desperately needed it at the moment.

"Everything." Grace breathed out of her, I arched my brow to her answer and she decided to reformulate it. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No." I state simply_, that one was easy_.

"Okay. Why does Katherine thinks you do?"

"I couldn't know." I could _speculate_, but that wasn't called for here.

"Is the girl from the photos Anastasia Steele?" Now that was a question that I just knew it would be dreadful to answer.

I didn't want to say it out loud, so I just nodded and watch my mother's mouth forming an "o" while the revelation settles in her.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Grace was getting eager but when she realized her own question, she decided to form another one, since the answer to the previous was obvious. "Didn't you know she'd be at Ethan's party?"

"I suspected."

"Do you have any idea how much we talked about your suppose date, about that mysterious girl in the pictures?" She took a little breath before continue, almost as if she was ashamed of what she was telling. "How much we speculated about her, all those crazy ideas… And she was right there, the poor girl was right there listening to it all. What an awful thing, you should have said something, Christian."

"How could I know you'd be talking about my private life instead of focusing on the celebration _his _birthday?" I spited when I referred to him, I couldn't even bring myself to say his name so revolting that sound was to me.

"Christian…" My mother shook her head slightly. "Why did you hit him?"

"I thought I had explained that yesterday." I really wasn't feeling like dwelling on that topic anymore, besides what could I say? I got crazy jealous over someone I barely know?

"I…" Grace was going to say something but refrained herself. "Do you like her?"

"Who?" Obviously I knew who she was talking about but I didn't want to answer that. Grace didn't buy my bullshit though, narrowing her eyes at me and waiting for a real response. "I barely know her."

"You put your all image at risk for her." Since I didn't answer that, she decided to continue on her observations. "I've never seen you do something like that in your adult life, something so reckless. You're always rational, sometimes too rational so for you to act upon that kind of emotions… she has to be special."

_Was she special? _My mother was right though, I was always rational. Always used my brains and put them over my emotions so for me to succumb so easily, to act upon an extreme sensation I was having. It was… _crazy_. I have already understand that I'm afraid of her leaving me, that I want something with her but to admitted that she's special to me, that was way too much at this moment.

"I was drunk and I thought I saw another thing that apparently wasn't happening." I repeated yesterday's excuses mechanically.

"Really?" Grace's asks raising her brows. "Wasn't it because you were jealous?"

_Yes, yes it was._ It was jealousy and possessiveness but I couldn't tell her that. "No." _Such a lie Grey, such a damn lie._

"Okay." My mother said obviously not believing in one bit my answer. "Either way, you have to apologize to Ethan."

"No I don't" I reply immediately out of instinct. Just the thought of that made my insides burn. He didn't deserve any apology and _he_ should be the one apologizing to my Anastasia.

"Yes you do, regardless of the reasons Christian it's you and your career that's on the line." She moved forward in her seat, placing her hand above mine across the desk. "Do you really want to put yourself _and Anastasia_ through that kind of exposure?"

That did the trick, I stiffed in my spot. I really didn't want that to happen, neither to me nor to her since she already suffered too much at the hands of her supposed family. But I just couldn't apologize to that man, not yet. I didn't feel like it, I couldn't perceive me doing it and just the thought was painful.

"Carrick already tried to delay their anger for at least one more day. Though what I think kept them from spreading this incident world-wide was Anastasia. I don't know if it's because they regret what they said yesterday or don't want to put her on the spot-light but they didn't have any problem exposing her then so I'm not sure that'll be enough to calm them down."

I sighed, reviewing the pain in Anastasia eyes when it all happened. I didn't know what to do or say to make things better for either of us. So I just nod to my mother and keep myself inside my head trying to find a way of erasing this mess out of our lives.

"I'll think about it." I say getting up and walking towards the door, clearly showing this was all I could take for one day.

Grace complied silently and followed through the hallway to the living room with a satisfied smile on her face, I might not gave her much but I gave her something and that was the most she ever had from me. I could tell she was happy, I shared something private with her even though I didn't reveal much. I guess just the fact that I agree to speak to her was a huge step for us, particularly for me.

When we get there a curious and surprised expression plastered itself on her face, making me follow her gaze. _Anastasia._ She was up, standing just as shocked in the middle of the room with one t-shirt of mine covering her body almost to her knees.

She looked flustered and had a nice color on her cheeks, her hair was messy but still looked soft and her eyes even though sleepy were shining. I smiled unconsciously to her sight which made my mother brows raise even more. Quickly, I changed my expression but still wasn't able to say anything.

"Anastasia." Grace greeted her with a warm smile, extending hand at her. "It's nice to see you again."

"I…" Anastasia blushed, what was adorable. She extended her hand to Grace as well, but my mother pulled her to a kind hug living her even more surprised. "It's so nice to see you too Mrs. Grey. Please call me Ana."

"And I'd like very much if you could call me Grace, Ana." My mother smile fondly and then turn to me again. "Think of what I told you Christian, your father is having a meeting with them this afternoon. It would be great if you could show up."

"I said, I'll think about it." I repeat, clenching my fists. I wouldn't make it today though. It was too soon for that.

"I know" She said looking straight at me, then turning towards Anastasia again. "I'd love to have lunch with you some day, we have to arrange that dear. The circumstances we keep meeting aren't the perfect ones."

"I couldn't agree more and I'd love too."

My mother said her good-byes kissing my cheek and squeezing my hands more tightly than the usual, then hugging Anastasia one more time. She left the building with a sweet smile on her face and I couldn't scrutiny the reason to all her happiness, surely couldn't be just the fact that we talked, right?

I let go of those thoughts immediately when my eyes landed on Anastasia again, she was still standing in the middle of the room looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." She said after a while. "I didn't know you had company."

"It's okay." I started to walk closer to her, something about her just made me wanna be near her. "She was here to discuss yesterday's events."

"Oh." I could tell the scars were still too fresh on this subject and I could relate to that, I understood her.

"Are you hungry?" I changed the subject, for now it wasn't necessary to put her through this.

She simply nodded to me and I extended my hand at her. She placed hers on mine and I couldn't help but smile, remembering the video-tape of Monday morning and the image of us holding hands; Anastasia so small next to me. I conducted her to the kitchen and made her sit by the counter.

"What would you like to eat?" I ask while checking the contents of my fridge.

She furrowed her brows making that cute "V" again, giving me the urge to go and kiss it. I controlled myself though and just tighten my grip on the fridge door.

"Surprise me" She answers after a while with a huge grin on her face.

"Let me tell you, my cooking skills aren't mad." I said with a grin of my own.

"Then you should let me do it." She gets up from the stool, walking towards me.

"Well, if you insist I won't make it hard for you."

She laughed and pushed me aside from the fridge. Her actions just seemed natural and all the time she was cooking, I felt like she belonged. She belonged here, in my kitchen, in my place.

That thought darkened my mind, could she be my _sub_? I was having a hard time dealing with that confrontation when she snapped me out of my trance to announce that meal was ready.

It smelled wonderfully and I was enjoying every bit of it, she was really good at it and she was eating with truly appetite which made me feel more at ease. I didn't need to push the food into her.

"You do have mad cooking skills."

"I know." She smiles and winks at me, that gesture was damn sexy even though innocent and it made me hard. "I really like cooking and I don't usually have the chance to do that much stuff, since I cook only for one."

"I wouldn't complain, whenever you wanna cook for two." That came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. I was surprised at my words just as much as Anastasia.

"I think…" She stopped and took a deep breath filling her lungs and making her chest expand, which didn't help for my hardness situation. "I think we need to talk."

The mood suddenly darkened what would she like to talk about? Was she leaving? She wanted to leave obviously; _she just stayed here because she took pity on you Grey. You're little jealousy fit was miserable and sad._ Maybe that was truth. I felt fear inside me but I pushed it away.

I was Christian Grey and no one would control my emotions. "Okay." I say coldly.

"I would like you to explain what you were going to, yesterday." She said twisting her hands on the counter, nervously. I stood silently looking at her. "You know… about the girlfriend thing."

"Oh" I let it out, with some kind of relief washing through me. "It's simple, I don't have one."

"Then, why… who was that woman?"

"She was my partner." I decided to shorten the story. "My _sexual _partner, we never shared a romantic relationship, did she tell you otherwise?"

She just nodded with her head, lowering her gaze and blushing slightly.

"You should've discussed it with me instead of running away." I say calmly "It took quite a while figuring out what took you to leave like that."

"I'm sorry. I know I should have waited but still, she's something to you and I didn't want to get in the middle."

"She's not anymore." I declare with fortitude in my voice. Anastasia just nodded and kept eating but I figured since we started, we might as well finish. "We should talk about yesterday's events too, are you mad at me?"

She looked at me with confusion in her eyes. "No." She breathed. "I mean, I don't know. I've too many emotions inside me."

It was my time to nod at her words, she was right and I related to that.

"You should apologize though." She said after a few minutes of silence. "You shouldn't have done it and there will be consequences if you don't make emends. And I don't think trying to keep your pride is worth what can happen."

"How would you know that?" I was stating more than asking, forming fists in my hands, anger rushing in me.

"I know what it's like to be too prideful to admit you're wrong. But you_ were_ wrong so you should just admit that and apologize for it."

"And what if I don't?"

"Things will just blow out of proportions, you'll keep you ego intact but you'll pay a high price for something you know you did wrong." I was just angry at the thought of apologizing to that stupid selfish person, but somehow along the road I knew both Anastasia and my mother were being reasonable.

I sighed and threw my head back thinking everything that happened, the fact that I knew these women were right only made me madder but I couldn't deny the logic in their train of thoughts. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it. Anastasia got up and walked to me, placing her hand on top of mine and looking me intently in the eyes. Her beauty struck me hard once again.

"Just apologize Christian, no one's perfect and mistakes are a part of life. Just recognize yours and we can move forward"

I inhale deeply, her proximity made me crazy but the fact that she said "_we _can move forward" made me realize she was still here, still next to me. After all she didn't leave me, she defended me in front of her supposed family, she stood by my side and now she was only asking me to acknowledge my mistake, to apologize for my sake, for _our_ sake.

"I'm sorry." I say closing my eyes, this was even harder than I imagined. "I know I hurt you, I understand Ethan means a lot to you."

"I'm not so sure of that anymore." She said with a sad look on her eyes.

I couldn't stand seeing her hurting like that. All of that happened because of me, if I had control over my stupid emotions she would never had to confront the Kavanaughs for me and they would never reveal private information in front of everyone. _This is all your fault Grey, even when you try to do good you fuck things up._

I hated my subconscious but it was right, I fucked up and now it was up to me to make emends, _to apologize, for Anastasia._ She was hurting, I could see the pain in her eyes and I was the one that caused it, once again.

I'm no good for her but I'm so greedy I can't keep away. If I was stronger I'd tell her to go away, to leave me and never look back; that I'm a monster, a sadist sick monster that will only ruin her life. But I'm not; I'm not strong when it concerns her so I gave in. I gave in to my needs for her, I grabbed her arms and pulled her body towards mine, siting her on my lap.

Her scent, her touch, her breathing made every ounce of my being wished I could melt onto her. I tugged her hair in my hand and pull her head so close it was excruciating not to crash my lips into hers. I wanted to savor the moment though, I didn't know if I'd have a lot of them once I proposed what I wanted to her.

So I looked long and deep into her overly big and bright eyes, those who could see right through my soul and I tried to put all the desire and the need I was feeling for her, pleading silently for understating and an opportunity.

Her breathing got a pitch higher and I could feel the sweat that was forming in her body, I could see reflected in her gaze all the wanting and lust that were possessing my own being. I watch intently her full pink lip being trapped between her perfectly white teeth, biting deeply into the soft surface.

I couldn't take it anymore, the waiting made my desire grow into inconsumable flames that were burning inside me and I had to taste her. I pushed my lips on hers, she gave in right away. She kissed me too with just as much need and passion, and when her hands buried themselves into my hair I felt the touch of her skin spread like wildfire on my body.

I wanted her so much it hurt, it hurt every fiber of my being. I barely knew Anastasia and yet she affected me like no one ever did, every thing about her made me crazy and at this moment I was kissing her with the most effervescent heat I could put into it. My body had a natural response to hers, like we were made for each other, to touch each other, to feel each other, _to be with each other._

I wanted this woman more than my next breath and if I ever doubted that, now I didn't anymore. Anastasia was my new drug and she was consuming me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Anastasia P.O.V.**

He tugged my hair in his hand and pushed my face unbelievably close to his. I could feel his breath on my skin and it made me sweat. I wanted this man so much it was excruciating, I wanted to touch him and pull his lips onto mine but I couldn't move. He was keeping me still, looking deeply into my eyes with such intensity that made my throat burn.

I could feel that my own eyes were a mirror to his needs and desires and the feeling was so unbearable that I felt myself biting my lip unconsciously, trying to prevent myself from attacking him right away. I saw his eyes glitter in carnal and sensual perversion to my gesture and I couldn't help my thighs from clenching trying to calm down the fire that was spreading in my folds.

He wasn't able to contain himself anymore too and soon his lips came crushing down on mine, with such heat and passion I was struck when I found I could respond just the same way. My need for him was just as primal and inexplicable as his and the strength of our kiss was almost animal.

Our bodies just melt into each like they knew all our secrets spots already, like we were meant to be like this, pushing ourselves almost to the point of becoming just one. His tongue invaded my mouth claiming me as his and at this moment, I couldn't do anything but comply.

I didn't have the strength to fight him neither did I wanted too. Nothing ever felt so right to me and no one, ever, was able to make me feel like this. Like my body was on fire aching for more of him, more of his touch, more proximity, more friction.

He hands slide down my throat in one languid and sensual movement, almost teasing me. I moan into his mouth making our kiss deepened further. We were stroking our tongues on each other, kissing with an effervescent passion that couldn't be held. We didn't stop for air, proving we needed each other more than we needed breathing.

His hands continue their way down until one of them reaches my swollen breast cupping it gently, the thin fabric of his shirt and the laciness of my bra didn't stop his expert touch from harden the tip of my breasts making me pull my grip tighter on his untamed hair. His other hand though, kept sliding sensually down my body stopping at my hips and caressing my back.

Suddenly Christian held me by my waist, lifting me and putting me completely on top of him, straddling him. His focus point drifted from my mouth to my neck, giving us space to breathe. I couldn't though, the sensations he was making me feel were unexplainable. He kissed and nibbled my neck, running his tongue up and down until it reached my earlobe.

I couldn't help the sounds that were coming out of me, I let go of my grasp on his hair and dug my nails into his arms. He didn't seem to mind, since the thick length that was between his thighs just appeared to be harder and harder.

I couldn't help but hump onto it, rubbing my own sex on his. His thick expertly thumb slides between my core and through the fabric of my thong, starts to stroke and circle my clit. I moan louder and all I can hear from Christian is growls that sound like primitive noises.

He places his other hand on my hip demanding more friction, which I'm happy to comply. I can feel all the tension building inside me; I could just orgasm by this and apparently so could he.

"Oh Ana" He breathed onto the crack of my neck. "I'll come just like this."

That thought only excited me further and I knew I was about to come when a strange cough resound through the kitchen walls, making me jump.

It was Taylor, again, who looked just as constrain about this all scene as me. Quickly I got up to my feet, trying to smoothen my shirt as if that action would somehow erase some of Taylor's memories. The man already saw me dancing stupidly and now he had to catch me almost having sex with Christian on the damn kitchen?

He must think I'm crazy, but I don't blame him. Even I think that of myself. I'm crazy, and partially that's Christian's Grey fault since he keeps driving me insane. I don't regret though, what we just did. It felt right and natural and just something that was _needed._ Like it was a part of us and by the looks on his face – or the lump between his thighs – he wasn't regretting it much either.

"I'm sorry sir." Taylor says looking rather apologetic and nodding to me in signal of acknowledgement. "There's someone here to see you."

I can see Christian fists turn into balls and the anger of this interruption rising in his eyes. Last time we were sharing an intimate moment, Taylor interrupted us as well, and after that I run away. I shiver to that thought, was he thinking that too?

"Who?" Christian asks clearly annoyed.

"It's your brother sir." Taylor said, even more apologetically this time.

Christian sighed and dismisses Taylor with a nod of his head. He wasn't happy about the intromission of his older brother but at least he wasn't leaving without a word this time. I think its progress.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He says stroking my cheek with his knuckles. "Don't go anywhere this time."

_So, he did think the same thing as I did._ I smile at that, we were sharing the same thoughts even if they weren't the brightest ones.

"I'm not planning on it." I answer truthfully, leaning my face onto his palm.

He smiled at me, stroking my cheeks one more time with his hand and walking away. He was almost disappearing from the kitchen frame when he turns around looking straight at me.

"You look beautiful like that." And then he was gone.

I got a stupid smile on my mouth that I couldn't take it off even if I smacked my face. What happened to mysterious, dark, distant and controlling Christian? I didn't know but I wasn't sure I wanted to either.

XXXX

I had been in the kitchen for quite long and still no signal of Christian. I didn't resent him for spending time with his brother or even being attending someone else's needs. I understood that, but I was sick of being by the counter revolving around what had just happened between us.

It felt right, natural. He was consuming me and I couldn't deny the influence his presence had on me. He's been on my mind ever since Monday. Actually that's a lie, he's been on my mind ever since I laid eyes on him at the club.

He was always present, he accompanies my every thought regardless of how bad I want to deny it. But I can't anymore, there's no point to it at least. Being with Christian Grey feels like and instinct, like an extension of my being and after this, there's no turning back.

_I wanted him_. So what wrong could come out of this? It's a calculated risk and I think I deserve it. I feel like I deserve it and if Christian feels the same then I guess we should try something…

I went to his bedroom, I was tired of waiting around while doing nothing and by the feeling on my panties I needed a really nice and long self-cleaning. I stepped outside the kitchen, peaking with my head. I didn't want to risk see the Grey brothers talking and interrupt them and when I saw the coast was clear, I sighed.

The door to Christian's office was tightly close so my guess was that they were there. I decide to make a run until his bedroom, not that would be any problem in any of them saw me but somehow I had too much excitement inside me and I needed to tear it off.

Actually I felt like a child caught with the hand on the cookie's jar. Christian told me to wait for him where I was but, again, I was running only this time was not away from him.

I threw my clothes to the bathroom floor and look thoughtfully to the shower and the bathtub not managing to decide which one I wanted to try out first. This was way too much and his bathroom could be my room alone but I shrug those thoughts away. His wealth was overwhelming but I was trying to not letting it get under my skin.

I decided on the shower, I was probably going to make it fast. I still had a ton of questions playing in my head regardless to his "_sexual"_ partner but I decided that now maybe not the time to bombard Christian with questions, I mean this is all in my head. I'm the only one that decided to try anything with him, he didn't even expressed if he wanted the same thing so I'm taking chances and making planes alone, which meant I didn't have yet the right to question many things.

_You're way over your head Ana, quit before you get yourself hurt._ My subconscious seemed to oppose my decision but I tried to shake those thoughts away. I knew already, that whatever me and Christian might have, it would be hard work. _Extremely_ hard work.

I still remembered the way Christian flinched when I tried to touch his chest the first time I slept here and I believed it to be related to his daily nightmares. I shiver, I knew how much nightmares and scars could mold your life one way or another. He prefers that no one touch where it hurts while me… I quietly shrug away those memories. Now was not the time to dwell on the past if I ever wanted to consider a future with anyone.

I took my time during the shower but still no signs of Christian, whatever it was that Elliot wanted to talk about was serious and a fear crept in me, could it be something to do with Ethan? Did the Kavanaughs decided to go with their plan of humiliate Christian publicly?

I cleaned myself and put another shirt that was laying around in his – incredible huge – closet and that seemed clean enough to me. It smelled extremely good, it smelled like him and when I laid myself in bed waiting to hear some kind of news, I got lullabied by that intoxicating scent that filled my lungs.

"Anastasia!" I wake up straddled to the sound of a shouting voice.

Blinking several times before realizing where I was and before a very worried looking Christian Grey storm into the room, I lift up from bed concerned with what might be happening.

"What is it?" I ask while watching what seemed like release flushing through his face.

"I just…" He looked deeply at me again and reformulated his sentence. "It's nothing."

"Come on, you can tell me." I said motioning him to come and sit in the bed. "You can tell, Christian."

"I just thought you had run away again." He sits next to me and doesn't meet my eyes.

"Hey" I can't help but place both hands in each side of his face, ignoring his flinching when I touched him and looking intently in his eyes. "I told you I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"Have you showered?" Suddenly his eyes glittered and I couldn't quite place what was the motive.

"Yes" I decided to look into my hands while I feel a slight crimson rise to my cheeks, I begin to feel very self-conscious_. Had I cross some line by doing that?_ "I hope you don't mind, I just needed one…"

"Oh, not at all." A mischievous grin spread in his face while he let his eyes run up and down my body but quickly the amusement falls and turns into a serious expression. "I need to go though, I have to meet my father at the Kavanaugh's."

"Oh" I let my expressions fall as well, I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with that just yet.

"Do you want to come with me?" He had a hopeful smile in his face but when I glanced at the clock I froze, it was already 6.48 in the evening and I need to get ready to work. Christian took really long with his brother.

"I can't…" I whisper.

"You're not ready to face them yet?" He asks me in a kind and comprehensive way, I melted a little bit with his concern.

"I don't know, I think I need to straight some things out in my head first, but that's not why…" I was a little embarrassed to bring up the subject, I may not know a lot about the man but I think I knew enough to believe he disapproves my profession. "I need to get ready to work."

I was right about being apprehensive because next thing I know Christian is up in his feet, pacing around the room like a maniac and running his hand through his hair. I knew he wouldn't take it well but I'd never guessed he would be so upset.

_That's too bad for him Ana, you need to work. _I shut my conscience away, I knew that and I was going to. He could not stop me from doing so, it was my job and he would have to find a way to deal with it. I couldn't fire myself or quit showing up, it was up to me what I did not him.

"Don't go." He said looking me thoughtfully in the eyes. I could tell he was dead serious about it.

"What?" I got up from bed quicker than I thought I'd manage. I was a little offended at his authoritative tone. "I can't do that, it's my job I can't dismissed it when I feel like it."

"Yes you can." He glared at me like I was some kind of crazy person. "You don't need to do that. In fact you don't even have to work in there."

At that I got really infuriated with him. "What are you saying Christian?"

"I think I'm being very clear Anastasia. You shouldn't work in there"

"You're not my father therefore you don't get to dictated what I do or don't do." My voice was starting to rise but I couldn't help it, what the fuck did he expected from me?

"Is this about the money?"

"What?" It was my turn to run my hands through my messy hair in exasperation. "It's about my free-will and my independence Christian, do you know what that is? Money's not everything."

"You can exercise you free-will just the same in another job" He was still pacing around and I could see fire-darts being thrown from his eyes.

"No because then I'd be changing my job because of others! I choose to work there and I will." I stopped next to him and glared, trying to measure my strength with him.

"It's not even a safe place." He stated stopping and staring at me as well.

"I've been working there longer than you can imagine. I think I can evaluate that by myself."

"Well, don't you think it's time to change the scenario?" He was truly trying to pull me out of my damn job but I couldn't let it, I barely know him and he expects to control my life? I can't have that.

"Just quit it Christian." I say with a sigh "I'm not going to change my job just because you don't like it. I'm not a property, you don't get to choose what's best for me. I make my own choices."

"I can find you something else to do Anastasia." He wasn't ready to give up yet, but I was. I didn't want to argue anymore I just wanted him to understand I couldn't let him decide this kind of things for me. I was my own person and that meant a great deal to me.

"Christian, come here" I say calmly siting on the bed, he looked suspiciously at first but complies with the request and sits next to me. "Look I don't want another job, this is what I do. I'm stripper and even if you don't like it I'm not gonna change it, unless _I _choose to."

"But you can…" I hold my hand in the air preventing him to continue talking.

"No, I can't. I know you have your own demons Christian and you find your ways to deal with them, this is my way of dealing with mine. I've being doing it for a long time and I'm comfortable with it, I need to be able to have my independence and to choose what I want. Like I said, free-will means a lot to me and if you can't accept it then I'm sorry but I can't change it just like that. It takes time."

He looked attentive at me as if he was analyzing me through my eyes, I felt exposed but I guess bringing up our problems did the trick because his expression softened a little and he extended his hand, taking mine on his.

"But we'll find a way of working on those changes the fastest we can." Again, he wasn't going to give up.

I sighed, I really didn't want to fight more. I already had troubles with my best friend and a person who I considered as a brother, so I didn't want to have one more with Christian. He was strong-headed and it would be difficult to deal with him sometimes but he made an effort to accept my point-of-view, _at least temporarily_.

"I'm not even sure what do you expect of me, Christian." I breathed out, were we starting some kind of relationship or did he just want me to be his sexual partner?

"We…" He face darkened as if he knew what he expected of me but decided against telling me at the moment. "We'll talk about it later. I have to leave now. Taylor will take you where you need to go."

With that he disappears into his massive bathroom shutting the door close behind him. He didn't look back, he didn't said good-bye. He was a tumultuous, mercurial man and I didn't know what to do. He can't tell me what he wants from me but he can tell me to quit my job because it bothers him? Just because we shared a damn hot and passionate kiss doesn't mean he can control my life.

And apparently doesn't mean anything at all to him because next thing I hear is the sound of water running and I have the certainty that he's not only ignoring me but expecting me to leave so that he doesn't have to face me.

It hurt me this coldness but I guess I should have expected it. I pick up my dress and shoes and put them on. It's time for me to leave. I look around one last time, I don't know if I'll see this surroundings again or not so I'm just sinking all in me while I can.

XXXX

I'm already leaving the dressing room, just finished putting my shiniest gloss and fixing my loose curls so that they hang around my chest. It was going to be a very busy night, it was only the beginning and it was almost packed. Continuing with this flow and it would become an extremely full house.

I wasn't really in the mood for this; Taylor had dropped me off at my place. He insisted in staying with me until I was ready to be taken to the club afterwards but I denied. It was very thoughtful of him, or perhaps he was just following orders but all my life I lived without a personal driver and I'm sure as hell I didn't needed one now.

Besides I didn't wanted to be around him, he reminded me of Christian and how he dismissed me so sharply when he didn't felt like dealing with me anymore and it was a bit painful to me to be driving around town with his security guy next to me and also, _I was sad_. Regardless of how much I wanted to deny that fact, I was and I didn't wanted him to see me depressed like that.

All evening since I got home I kept waiting for a sign, maybe a call but he didn't do such thing. We haven't officially trade our cellphone numbers yet, but I had a feeling he already had mine and even if he didn't, if he wanted to talk to me he would find a way. I guess he didn't want and all my hopes vanished.

I didn't know what to think of this all, sure I was determined to see where this connection could go but I never told him that and clearly he didn't feel the same way, otherwise he would have acted differently.

Even working these thoughts didn't get out of my head. I stripped, I flirted, I even performance in the main pole once and all I could think about was the stupid Christian Grey.

"Here you go sugar" the man I was attending said giving a broad smile.

"Thanks darling" I receive the money he was giving me, placing it in my bra and winking at the man.

"You're sure you don't want to go with me, later on? I can treat you real good doll." They all try to win you with empty promises of a _really good treatment_.

I could almost chuckle but I kept just a nice smile "No thank you darling, I don't do that but I'm flattered you asked."

I wasn't really flattered; I knew they would propose that to almost every girl, waiting for the ones that actually would accept the offers. But I had to keep polite and to appear joyful at whatever they said; it was better for the business and it rewarded me with bigger tips so I just had to put up with.

I had been doing this for quite some time, so it was just easy to keep a mask with a forced but nice smile while being miles away in my head.

I was going to the my locker in the dressing room to put there all the cash I had made so far, when I heard someone giggling with excitement.

"Oh, he's here!" some other girl said to another.

"He's so handsome!"

"I know right? It's mouthwatering just to look at him, damn. But Angie had to see him first…"

They were laughing and whining at the same time, but it was usual of them to come back here to ogling clients and talk about them so I just shrugged and went my way. Sure, it could be here a handsome man but my mind was too distracted to notice it.

When I was walking in the V.I.P. lounge though my heart stopped, now I knew who they were talking about and they were right. _He's here_. Christian Grey is here siting in a corner with a rather flirtatious Angie serving him a drink and bashing her lashes in a provocative way.

When she leaned in to touch his arm I turn on my heels with my breath caught on my throat. Why was he here? And why on hell was he with Angie?

_Maybe he's mocking you Ana, coming to your workplace after dismissing you and flirting with another girl in front of your nose._ Oh god, I felt nauseated like I could almost throw up. It wasn't enough that he hurt my feelings earlier did he had to come in here to arrange himself another woman?

I made my way to the back quickly, dodging everyone that appeared on my front. Through the loud, blasting music I heard someone call my name but I needed to get some fresh air so I just kept walking until I was standing by the emergency exit door.

I open it quickly and step outside taking deep breaths of air into my lungs.

"Ana" I heard again, it was that deep, velvet voice that I'd recognize anywhere in the world but I didn't dare to turn around.

Instead he placed a hand on my shoulder and came to my front, looking me deeply in the eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked trying to sound indifferent, but I guess my jealously didn't let that come out the right way.

"I came to see you." He replied but I snorted at that answer.

"Oh, I believe in you by the way you were so _interested _in looking for me."

"I was, I was just asking that other…" He stops talking and eyes me closely, with a sudden smile creeping in his lips. "Are you jealous Ms. Steele?"

"What? No." I said, but I didn't think I was that much convincing since the smug smile continued in his lips. I decided to change the subject. "I thought you hated this place."

"I do."

"Then why did you come here?" I insisted.

"I told you, I wanted to see you. And I needed to see you're work conditions I can't be associated to some filthy place."

"Why would you even be associated to it?"

"Because… I bought it." He said in a nonchalant way but my mouth fell open.

"You…" I couldn't revolve my head around this. "What do you mean by that?"

"I became an associated to this club." He was still indifferent at all of this as if it was no big deal but I couldn't be more shocked. _Why on hell would he buy shares of this club?_

"Why would you even do that? I thought you wanted me to get out of here"

"I do, but I needed to find out your name."

"What? Are you fucking crazy?" I was so shocked I couldn't put in words; know I understood why he did it but that just made things worst. "That's insane Christian, that's stalking!"

He kept looking at me like he didn't quite understand the weirdness of this all, but this was purely insane. He bought part of the place I worked on because he wanted to find out my name? That almost scared me.

"It wasn't just because of that." He clearly saw I was upset and was trying to reason with me.

"What others reasons would you have?" I asked in disbelieve "Though that's not even the point Christian, that's invasion of privacy. You can't use your money like that to get personal information on other person, that's not right"

"I was angry at you when I bought it, I wanted to punish you."

"Punish me? How would you do that…?" All of a sudden an idea cross my mind, I froze but refused to believe that could be true.

"I was going to fire you." He said lowering his voice almost ashamed. _It was true._

I gasped unable to contain my emotions. "You're a dement person! You're going to fire me because you didn't like the way I talked to you?"

Christian didn't answer, I could see that somehow he was regretting his actions but I couldn't bare it at the moment. Everything seemed surreal, _how could he even think about that?_

"You're going to destroy all I knew because you wanted some revenge? How fucking childish it that! No, no! I can even understand childish but this, _this is_ purely sociopath behavior!"

I was struggling with my words; I couldn't put order in my thoughts. They were racing in a frenetic, rumbling way that I couldn't control. He was going to get me fired because he wanted to punish me, _fucking punish me!_

"Anastasia" He said when I walk away from him. "Please, let's talk this through."

"There's nothing to talk about!" I shout with tears forming in my eyes. I really didn't know what to think.

"Please Anastasia, wait." He said grabbing my arm and pressing me close to his body. "I'm sorry, I was just driven by anger I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry. Please don't leave"

I was just so upset, he thought about firing me! But then he was pleading me with the most devastating and painful eyes I've ever seen. Again I wonder what harms he had to endure in his life, he seemed so deeply marked. He appeared genuinely torn by all of this but I couldn't help to wonder if it was because I was reacting this way or because he was actually sorry.

I close my eyes for a moment and in a sudden movement Christian places his lips on mine, kissing with hunger and passion. It's almost violent as if he's putting all his pain and guilt in one kiss, begging me for forgiveness. I was about to part my lips for him, about to indulge myself in this needy action when my conscious took control and I manage to step back. I needed time to think things through.

"I have to work." I said in a sad but determined whisper, turning my back on him and walking back into the club.

Somehow I wanted him to come after me, to come and fight a little more. What he did was seriously wrong, he was ready to fire me over some stupid need for punishment but I had stupid and childish moments all on my own and I knew very well how anger and fury could cloud your judgment in a critically situation.

He was a damn stalker but the way I felt when his lips where on mine, I couldn't deny that feeling. I couldn't turn down that jolt of electricity that runs in my body every time he touches me, the butterflies I get in my stomach when I feel him close. I'd be ready to forgive him, only if he showed more commitment and fought a little harder.

The rest of the night passed as a blur; I don't even remember what I did in concrete, all I can remember are flashing moments but I don't care. I'm beaten and I'm extremely sad, this day went from amazing to dreadful in only hours.

One moment I'm thinking about having something more with Christian and the next we're fighting, again and again. And now he's walking away, he left me because I couldn't forgive him for what he did. It was truly troubled but maybe… _we could work things out?_

I didn't know, in any other day I'd be cursing and hating this man, I would even feel ashamed of my weak behavior at this moment, but right now all I wanted was to snuggle in bed with him and feel his strong arms holding me tight.

"Bye baby!" Jessica shout at me when I was about to walk out the door.

"Bye! See you Monday" I said unable to hide the tiredness of my voice.

I was never gladder that tomorrow was Sunday and we didn't work, I truly needed a day in bed without doing anything productive, a day where I could be sore and bitter all on my own and not having to worry about schedule or responsibilities.

When the cold air hit my face I shiver, it was cold and I regret not bringing a coat. I looked down at my baggy sweat pants and my old t-shirt and felt simply unattractive and depress. Maybe I was determined to have a sad life and maybe one day I'd right a book about it.

I was beginning to walk to my car when someone appear by my side, I turn around scared but determined to examine the person first before reacting. I really didn't want to punch someone I knew, like I did to Ethan.

When I turn around, it was Christian that was looking apprehensively at me. I could tell he was struggling inside as well, and I immediately felt our connection again. _He was struggling too, he was fighting a little harder._

"I don't want to fight Anastasia." He said with the saddest tone in his voice.

"Me neither." I admitted, even though my conscious was battling hard against my desires.

"I'm so sorry" He whispered leaning a bit closer.

"I know. I'm trying to find a way to forgive you."

"Would you come home with me tonight?" Hope was filing his eyes and I couldn't help but feel my heart clench. I wouldn't want anything more than that but I was still struggling.

Should I go? This man not only stalked me but was determined to apply some kind of revenge on me, possibly destroying everything I knew so far; he even wanted to control me and yet I felt this undeniable pull to him that I couldn't fight.

All cells in my brain were screaming for me to leave him here and walk away, my pride is yelling the same and for a second I was about to turn on my heels and don't look back.

I couldn't though, against all odds and warnings, I just followed my heart. I'm torn and yet all I want is to cuddle with this man regardless of how irrationally insane that is.

"I wouldn't want anything more." I say smiling and placing my hand on Christian's.

I don't care how many times we fight in a day, I want him. _I want Christian Grey._ And the perspective of falling asleep in his arms is heaven to me.

* * *

**I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews, guests and all!**

**I also want to apologize for all the mistakes I made and the ones I will, very much likely, make in the future. I will try to pay more attention to it but I write my chapters mainly at night – because it's when I have time for it – and my brain is not always thinking very brightly by then. Sometimes I don't have the opportunity to revise the all thing and look more closely for errors, so that's probably why so many escape my eyes.**

**Like I said I'll try to pay more attention to them but in the meantime, if you find any mistake that's too abhorrent please let me know, I'd appreaciat it!**

**Again, thank you for reading and reviewing, it means a lot :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Christian P.O.V.**

"Elliot." I greeted my older brother through gritted teeth.

It wasn't normal for him to show up at my house, and especially not so early in the day so I could only assume something serious was going on. I froze for a moment with that thought. I certainly didn't want to face other disasters at the moment.

I knew it was something important but I couldn't help to resent Elliot's intromission on one of the best experiences I ever had. I could still smell her scent lingering in my skin, her soft kiss trailing the outline of my lips, her little hands wandering down my arms and her smooth skin brushing teasingly against mine.

In reality I didn't know what I would have done if Taylor hadn't interrupted us. I was ready to tear her clothes apart with my teeth and explore savagely her body with my mouth. I was stunned at this revelation; I never wanted to have vanilla sex in my life. But then again, no one ever raised such feelings on me either. It couldn't be compared to all the others relations – even if just sexual – I had in my life.

This girl was turning my world upside down and I was letting her do it without a fight, but I couldn't stop it, _I couldn't stop her._ In fact I wanted, I wanted all of her to myself. I've always been a possessive person but the sentiment I was feeling towards Anastasia passed the reasons beyond logic, I would hit all Ethans of the world to keep them apart from her.

And that, _that was a first for me_. This roller-coaster of emotions that never seemed to stop around her caught me by surprise every time, even though by now I should expected it. Nothing that involved her could be normal, for she was exquisite herself.

"Ahem" A cough from Elliot pushed me away from my trance.

"Yes?" I asked him, arching a brow. I guess he was talking but my thoughts couldn't stop wandering towards that little creature waiting for me in my kitchen.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"No, sorry." I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, Elliot was carrying a pained look that was concerning me and I decided to give him my fully attention. "I have a lot on my mind."

"I know. And I'm sorry to bother you with this…" He's eyes were pleading and something felt very odd, Elliot was always the life of everything. "But I didn't know who else to tell."

I remain silent, simply reassuring him to continue with a nod of my head.

"I… I don't know what to do… I can't tell mom and dad, they're heartbroken with all that happen… I don't feel safe sharing this with anyone else. Christian, I…" He trailed off and buried his head in his hands in a desperate sign.

I instantly got up from my chair and join him in the couch that was placed against a wall in my office. I seated next to him and placed my hand in his shoulder, it actually pained me to see him is such a state.

_What's wrong with you Grey?_ You're opening yourself to your mother, almost having regular sex with someone you barely know and now nursing your own brother… Something is really off, I'm not acting like my normal self but I don't have time to think much about him since Ethan broke into little sobs that made me stiffen in my place very, _very uncomfortably._

"She… She's broke off." He manages to say between the efforts to suppress his sadness.

"Who?" I wasn't making the right association because I didn't comprehend his desperation. "Who are you talking about?"

"Julia…" He sobbed a little, again, and the realization sinks in, _oh._ "She… We talked yesterday after the events an… a-and she's says she is not ready or doesn't feel ready… she wants time, I don't know what to do."

It really hurt me to see my brother suffering like this; I'd never guessed what he was talking about if he hadn't explicitly said it. This was a shock to me too and I could understand his apprehension on telling our parents anything about it, especially now after all the shit I did.

Elliot and Julia always have been together, not always dating but together. They were one of those couples who were on and off all the time. Elliot's been with a lot of girls in the mean time, he was always a player and a flirtatious man but deep down he always loved her and always came back to her.

Our family loved her too; she was nice and sweet to everyone and appeared very fond of my brother so when they decided to settle down and set a wedding date, no one was very surprise. It was an expected thing. But this revelation, _this _was unexpected and clearly heart-breaking to my older brother.

"Why would she want to do such thing?"

"I-I don't know Christian…" He sighed deeply, finally lifting his head out of his hands. "I thought everything was fine, we were fine. I don't understand… She's says she doesn't feel ready to do such commitment, that she's been trying to fight the doubts she had but now she couldn't anymore"

I was lost for words, I wasn't any romantic counselor, or counselor of any sorts, so I was just out of my confront zone in this. What should I say in a time like this? If only I had a heart I could console him, but I truly don't know how. I froze thinking of something to say, but finding nothing I decided to play Doctor Flynn, and just interrogate him about his feelings instead of giving my opinion.

"And how do you feel?" I ask, clearing my throat.

"I don't know" Elliot met my eyes this time and I could see the confusion behind them. "I was ready to settle down, I wanted to have a family… To have something like mom and dad share, you know? I'm sick of all the seductions games, sure a good laid is fine but as the time passes I feel that maybe, I need something more, you know?"

_No, no I didn't know._ But still I nodded with my head, whatever it was that meant.

"I don't know what to do Christian, I'm lost." He looked at me almost pleading for the answer I didn't have. Still, I decided to play Flynn's card.

"But do you want that… you know, _something more_ with her?" He looked at me puzzled, so I tried to elaborate it better. "I mean, do you want that with Julia in specific or you just want that kind of relationship in general?"

It took him a minute to understand what I asked but soon as it sunk on him, Elliot drove himself into deep thought.

"I don't know too… I thought it was her but now I'm not sure."

"If you're not sure than it's because it wasn't her that made you want more, it was yourself." I was trying to make sense and be somewhat appropriate in this situation, since I knew nothing about advising someone in these matters. "Look Elliot, I'm not the most indicated person to lead you onto any path, but I think that _more _with someone is a big deal and I can understand that you want to have that but it can't be anyone just because."

"You have to want more with that person in particular, try more with her _because her,_ because it wouldn't make sense with anyone else. You can't just waste time and effort into that kind of relationship if you're not absolutely sure she's different and deservers that."

At this point I wasn't sure to whom I was talking anymore. Here I was, subconsciously, pouring my heart out to both me and my brother trying to convince us both that we could survive and manage this kind of _things._

"What I'm trying to say is that, you can't be with someone like that because you what to make true your idealization, you have to be with her because she's the only one that can make that idealization come true."

I sighed and waited for a response but all I got was a stunned, mouth-opened, blinking Elliot that kept rubbing his eyes unmercifully.

"Did I make any sense?" I asked a little bit frustrated at his reaction.

"Who knew my little brother was such a romantic specialist?" He was still perturbed deep inside him, but apparently I manage to make him chuckle. "I didn't know you had a Dr. Love hidden in you"

"That's not funny Elliot, I was trying to be helpful." I tried scowl him but failed, in part it was funny and I couldn't keep the amusement from my voice too.

"That was baby bro, it truly was." He said patting my shoulder. "At least you give me something to think about, I still don't know what to do but I guess I understand what you mean"

I smile, secretly proud of myself for being able to help him in such conditions. A few weeks earlier I would be at lost and the only thing I'd probably do would be setting and appointment with Flynn for him but apparently, everything changed in the course of this week. And I didn't dare to think of the reason behind it, since it scared the shit out of me.

"I don't really want to share this news with anyone else because they already have a lot on they're mind. Can I stay here a bit longer?"

I contemplate his request, in part I wanted to deny him that. I had the most wonderful vision waiting for me in my kitchen but I didn't want to refuse my brother either, especially at a time of crisis for him.

"Sure." I said trying to sound reassured. "We can stay here as long as you need."

_Though I hope you don't need it for long. _I felt a little bad for wishing this but I couldn't deny that I was anxious to meet her again, to even see her again. Part of me was actually afraid that I would left this office too late and found that she left again, and that I couldn't bare. Not after what we shared, so I was scared that I wouldn't find her in my house which was a sore thought because wherever she was, she was able to brighten the all room only with her presence.

Even though, I kept Anastasia always present in the back of my mind I shared quite a pleasant afternoon with my brother. I could tell he was heart-broken and very confused so I tried to divert him with other topics and we ended up discussing a variety of subjects I'd never thought we would discuss between us.

Though I'd never admitted it, it felt good to have a bonding moment with my brother. I never had one, at least not as intimate as this and I was enjoying it.

Being chatting with Elliot, brought up the yesterday's events and again I found the same pleading for me to apologize. I guess I would have to do it sooner or later but I decided on the sooner, the sooner being today with my dad.

I decided that because I could tell Elliot's news about his engagement was going to break Grace's heart all over again and if I could do something to keep our family to shred into pieces, I'd do it. I owed them that much. And also because Anastasia asked me too and I couldn't deny it, she was right. I didn't want to harm her anymore so I need it to ask for forgiveness for _us._

XXXX

I let the water warm my skin; the drops were running down my all body while I supported my weight against the shower wall. The all afternoon was weird for me, it went from amazing to unusual and then to infuriating.

When I didn't find Anastasia in the kitchen my heart stopped pounding in my chest, my every muscle hurt. I thought for a moment she had left me alone, abandoned me. I run through the entire house trying to find her and when I finally did, a warm and peaceful feeling rushed through my heart.

She clearly had been sleeping, her skin was flushed and her hair a perfect mess of a chestnut silk. She looked just as beautiful as if she had been produced by some expert's hand. She appeared concerned, probably because of my shouting and my scared looks.

She hadn't left. She was proving that she was going to be my side but now that I was going to do something that's out of my comfort zone, she wasn't going to be there. _She was going to work. _

Anastasia was going to strip down in front of desperate and gross men for dollars. Dollars they would put in her thong and bra with their own hands, brushing and grabbing her skin. I couldn't even begin to imagine that, the images that formed in my mind were so disgusting and nauseating, I almost felt myself faint.

The air left my lungs when I pictured her looking amazing and stunningly sensual, just like I saw her the first time. The idea that others would see her like that, _the way I see her,_ killed me. And she simply couldn't understand. I don't want her to strip, I want her to quit the damn job and here she is, pushing on the other direction.

I calmed down when she explain that somehow this was her way to deal with her past, I couldn't understand at all how that could be connected but I trying to respected, _for now._ I wasn't going to give up on this though, Monday morning I'm scheduling a meeting with Flynn for her so that we can deal with this and move on.

I was feeling bad for the way I treated her, sure she was infuriating and had an untamed mouth that drove me crazy but I couldn't help to abandon her when she asked what I expected from her.

"_I'm not even sure what do you expect of me, Christian." _Her words kept replying in my head, over and over again. I didn't know either, I wasn't sure of anything around her.

If I told her that I'd loose my power, I'd loose completely my control, the control to manage my own emotions and that I don't know how to do, at least not yet.

Did I want her to be my submissive? Sure I needed that part in my life, otherwise I couldn't deal with anything. But it's that all I want with her? No, most definitely not. Even if I want to deny it, this time I want more_, I need more._

But how can I tell the only person who make me want more that I'm a sadist man who would like to whip and spank her during sex? Probably she'll run and I can't have that, I need her too much to let that happen.

The doubts don't leave me alone and now I have to go to the Kavanaughs house and apologize to that little prick and I'll be doing that while Anastasia, _my Anastasia,_ is stripping down in front of hungry, uncontrolled creatures.

I sighed, I fucked up. I shouldn't have pushed her back before coming to shower. I should have talked to her but I panicked and lost my control. I step away in order to regain it but now she won't be there anymore when I walk out of this bathroom, I'll be alone in my empty and cold bedroom because I fucked up. _I'm fucked up._

XXXX

"Christian" Robert says, glaring at me.

The rage he feels it's almost palpable and I could tell it was shared by the rest of his family, not that I could blame them but still, it made everything much more uncomfortable.

"Robert, Ethan" I greeted them with a nod of my head, ignoring on propose Katherine who was fuming from her ears. "I hope we can talk as lucid, adult men this time."

"We weren't the ones inherited if I recall." Ethan replies sardonically.

"No, but I believe we all were a little exalted and with our blood boiling"

"Sure, let's get it done with. What do you have to tell in your defense Christian?" Robert speaks, interrupting his son before he could answer me.

"I was absolutely intoxicated, that obviously doesn't condone my behavior that I recognize as abhorrent, but it can explain why I acted the way I did." I paused for a moment, making sure everyone was hearing me, trying to make sense in my words. "Like I said, I thought I saw a different thing than what actually happened"

"That's bullshit" Katherine said with a snort.

"Shut up Kate" Robert shouts with a motion of his hand, I could tell she was turning red with rage but right now I couldn't be more appreciative of that gesture.

"I know that sounds bad, especially given your intimate relation with Ms. Steele" I continued, trying to keep the wryness from my voice. "But I didn't know that until after, and it wasn't my intention to act so… irrationally but I couldn't control my actions as much as it pains me to say."

"That was incredibly serious Christian…" Robert tries to say but I stop him with my hand, trying to get my point without interruptions.

"I fully understand that now Robert, like I said I was inebriated and unfortunately acting on impulses… false ones, but impulses nonetheless." This was more painful than I could imagine, but I need to do it. "And for that, I apologize… Ethan. I'm truly sorry to hit you, I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly" Ethan said bitterly.

"I don't think that's enough…" Robert says, folding his hands on top of his desk.

_I knew it_; of course these vultures would want more. A simple apologize and recognition of my error couldn't be enough to them, I guess they're not the nice people Anastasia believes them to be.

"We can work on something you need" I say clenching my teeth. My father must have noticed my anger growing because he placed a hand on my shoulder in supportive way.

"Now Robert, we all recognize and apologize for Christian mistake I think there's no need to continue this…" Carrick begins but gets not where; they were determined to collect some kind of revenge.

"Carrick, it was your son that pleaded us to resolve this as the adults we are, that's what we're doing. Now, I'm sure we can make some deal to work this out. Are you wiling to make business Christian?"

I clenched my teeth as well as my hands, this time but I swallowed hard. I said I was going to do this, then I will. _For Anastasia._

"Sure, Robert. We can negotiate something beneficial for both" Though that wasn't true, I really didn't want that.

"Great" A wide smile spread in Robert's face while he rubbed his hands, greedily.

"I hope you know that we're not going with this to public because of Anastasia" Ethan retorted.

"Oh, of course" I gave him a cold glare, how dare he say this?

"I mean it, and where is she?" He insisted.

"She's safe. Now let's do business please, I have other important things to attend."

"You better not do anything to hurt her, you prick" Katherine yells from the back of the room, with acid in her voice.

"Don't worry, you already did that for me" This time I couldn't help the wryness from my tone, she's was getting under my skin and annoying me terribly.

"How dare you…"

"That's enough" Robert said, tapping with force in his desk. "Get out of here Kate, clearly you're not able to control you temper."

With that, the door flung open letting out a raging Katherine that went cursing under her breath.

"Now, let's go to business Christian."

XXXX

"I wouldn't want anything more."

Anastasia smile and placed her hand on mine. I couldn't help but squeeze it a bit, making sure this was real and she truly was by my side.

Once again I fucked up; I came to the club because I wanted to make sure she was okay. Because even though I didn't admit I was dying to see her, dying of longing. I just wanted to keep her to myself, to stop others from see and touch her but even that I failed to accomplish.

Somehow we managed to end up fighting. At first I could tell she was jealous because I was with some girl when she saw me. It was obvious that woman was trying to flirt with me but I couldn't care, I didn't even notice if she was attractive or not, because all I could do was scanning the room searching for _my stripper_.

Apparently she didn't saw when I dismissed the girl that was flirting with me, because she decided to runaway before. Luckily I spot her and followed her to the back door.

I was secretly happy when she showed her jealousies because that meant she felt something for me as well. I wasn't the only one with this kind of emotions. That made me so please I couldn't even begin to put it in words.

That didn't last though, we manage to get into another fight right afterwards. I guess Anastasia wasn't supportive of my choice to buy a share of this club just to find out who she was… _and to fire her_. Now I can see I shouldn't have told her. I should have seen that she wasn't going to like that part but at the time I didn't even think.

I just wanted to say something that would cease our fight that would make everything alright. I thought that if I told the true and showed her that I didn't do what I intended to do, it would be enough for her to understand she was different.

I guess that wasn't the best way to say she was special, at least not according to her standards, so that only made everything worst.

I let her go and didn't bother her the rest of the night because I wanted to give her personal space, I wanted her to cool down and reconsider her feelings, to find a why to forgive me. I wanted to go home and don't upset her anymore but, once again, I couldn't.

I couldn't keep away from her, so here I was asking her to forgive me and to come home, _my home_.

I was so happy that she complied, the world seamed to have new colors. This was the way this woman made me feel and I couldn't do anything about it.

The ride home was incredibly fast, Anastasia leaned her head in my shoulder and I could tell she was tired. I wanted to make her feel good, feel safe and cared. The way these feelings are consuming me, is very scary but I came to terms with the fact that I can't fight them so I might as well accept it.

When we got home, I instantly took Anastasia to my room. This time she was going to sleep in my bed the whole night, but before that she was going to take a bath and change into something clean. I needed her to wash away all vestiges of her job from her entire body.

I fell in bed, leaving her to bathe by herself. I knew she was struggling with these revelations and needed a little time to reconcile with this all. It was my entire fault that she was suffering but it was all up to me to make it better too.

I drifted to sleep while she was cleaning herself. I woke up again when a weight fell down on the mattress. I open my eyes to see to shiniest sapphires absorbing my figure, taking me all in with such passion, I couldn't help to feel exposed. _Completely exposed,_ as if this woman could see all my darkness in this very moment.

I saw tiny drops of crystal water running down her cheeks and I couldn't help but clean them with my fingertips, her hair was dump and it fell in irregular and untamed waves down her back. She had a towel tightly wrapped around her body, showing more than what was supposed.

Her skin was of flawless ivory that blazed in the soft light of the room, she closed her eyes while I let my hands wander up and down the length of her bare arms, trapping her luscious lower lip between her teeth, turning every gesture into a carnal and sensual motion.

I've never felt this way before, looking at her wet body instigates a desire inside me that's so strong it's physically painful.

I tug her neck and gently pull her face close to mine, our lips are so close only a breeze can pass between them but I don't dare to take any further, not without permission, not when she's hurt and mad at me.

I look long and deep into her, channelizing not only my apology but my silent question as well. Anastasia seams to understand my doubt and without delay brushes her lips on mine. It a soft, innocent touch but that's all I need. She initiated, she want this just like me.

I nip her bottom lip and suck it mildly at first, during all this our eyes are open, none of us daring to close it with fear of losing the connection we're building. Those cerulean orbits just keep pulling closer and closer and I almost feel like I'm levitating with the intensity of this sentiment.

I can't take it anymore, _I need more_. I need her and without thinking or reflecting on the repercussions, I deepen our kiss. My lips move more vigorously on hers and I lick her teeth asking permission to enter her mouth. Our tongues meet each other and turning the kiss into a struggle between our needs and desires.

Everything we did felt instinctively, I let my arm snake around her thin waist pulling her close to me, while my other hand was lost at her untamed hair, clutching it tighter between my fingers.

Our kiss was just as strong and passionate as the one we shared in the kitchen and for brief moments I wonder if all the kisses with Anastasia would feel like this, because this felt like a gift, something precious and sacrilegious. Something only the two of us shared and nothing or no one could ever understand it.

While my hands kept pulling closer and closer to me, as if no proximity was ever good enough to satisfy my needs, Anastasia wrapped one arm around my neck tugging my hair in it and moving her fingers sensually through my scalp.

This woman was touching me in a way that was making me crazy, every time her fingertips moved teasingly on my skin I felt like fire had been spread on my body. My entire being combusts just by her touch and I can't take it much longer, it's an insatiable desire that's growing inside me.

I roll us on the bed putting me on top of her, I break apart our kiss for air but kept my lips on her skin, biting and licking her neckline and collarbones. I spread her legs apart with my knee and positioned myself between them, supporting the weight of my body on my elbows.

I took greedily the towel from her body exposing her completely and that was the most beautiful sight I ever had the pleasure to witness. She was magnificent and now mine, my own dainty.

She was just as eager for this as I was, so slowly and sensually she begin to let her hands travel south on my body, unbuckled my belt and pushing down my pants. I happily comply with her actions and in fact, I made it easier for her to take all my bottom clothes off leaving me just as exposed as she was.

I was almost naked, having only my t-shirt separating us from being completely uncovered but I wasn't ready to take it off. I was afraid she was going to touch my chest and I would loose all the control I had over this.

I begin to feel unease about this, feeling the absence of my natural element of dominance, but soon that went away. After freeing me from my pants and briefs, Anastasia made no move towards my shirt, instead just kept touching my naked legs and butt.

I smirked at this, apparently she was growing very fond of my bottom and I was enjoying it very much. She made everything easier and she appeared to understand me, even when I said nothing about it.

"Are you enjoying groping my bottom?" I whisper in her ear, with a hoarse voice.

I could feel her smiling on my neck. "Very much" She whisper too, given on last squeeze on my butt-cheek and making me chuckle.

She giggled and that sound filled my ears, that was the most angelically and beautiful sound I've ever heard and I'd do anything to make her produce it again.

I snap out of my trance when she bites my neck, making me groan in pleasure. I cup her breast in my hand and brush my thumbs over her harden nipples, making her whimper in pleasure. This woman makes the most erotic sounds I've ever heard and took all my self-control to not jump her right at that moment.

Instead I decided to continue on my mission; this time I drag my tongue through her chest until I reach that soft, full mound nipping it slightly. She moans again and my name escapes her lips effervescently. I keep biting and licking her nipple while my other hand runs down her body caressing her inner thighs.

She grabs my hair tighter and moans louder. I can't keep the smile from my face when my fingers brush through her folds and find them completely dripping of excitement.

I wanted to make this last longer, to make her come in every possible way, to have her in every position ever invented but at this moment I couldn't hold any longer. I just needed it to fill her, to place myself inside her warm body, to be closer to her.

I circle her clit with my thumb, while pushing one finger inside her. She keeps biting my neck, dragging her nails on my skin. I lift myself from her breasts and reach towards my nightstand. From the first drawer I take a foiled package, I know we need to use this even though all fibers in my being – and in particularly in my dick – are begging me not to.

I quickly unfolded it, needing to put it fast otherwise I'd just regret this action and go forward without it. I was about to unroll the condom down my throbbing member, when Anastasia's hands stop me from doing it. She grabbed the latex rubber and with her own hands, slides it down my penis.

I could almost come when her velvet hands stroke and squeeze my dick, but I closed my eyes tightly waiting for her to finish her task. It wasn't quick enough and it almost felt like she was teasing me.

When she finishes, I capture her hands, pinning them above her head and thrust vigorously into her, she's so tight I can't fucking believe. It took me a minute before being able to move inside her, afraid I was going to end this party earlier than expected.

Her back arched looking for closeness between our bodies and I gave in, I skunk in as deep as I could and I begin to thrust slowly inside her.

"Oh fuck Ana, you feel so good."

"Christian… oh… Please don't stop" I could feel her hands pressuring my butt for closeness and I begin to quick my pace.

I don't know how long I staid thrusting inside her; everything seemed to fell apart around me. There no one else, no past, no world outside. It was just us, as one being. I kept pushing my hips onto hers, meeting her every move.

I started to go harder and harder as her walls clenched around me, showing me she was close.

"Ana! Oh, come for me baby… come for me" As the words left my mouth a moan pierced the room and she came, gloriously shouting my name.

Hearing her call for me was all the incentive I needed to climax as well, I kept thrusting harder until I couldn't control anymore and came in my entire resplendency, feeling something I couldn't even dream that could be real.

I stiffen inside her before being able to move again. I roll onto her side, taking the condom out of my semi-hard penis and tossing it aside. I knew I should clean myself but all my forces seemed to have abandoned me.

Anastasia must have felt the same, because she was breathing healingly unable to move. I couldn't help but stare at her.

I pull her closer and she rested her head on my upper arm, cuddling against my limp body.

That felt right, the proximity. It was new but unexplainably good.

"You're so beautiful" I confessed, kissing her hair.

"That was… I'm lost at words Christian. It was amazing, I never felt like this"

I smile, for some reason any other words couldn't make me feel like this. "I know… It was a first time for me too. I didn't know anyone could enjoy my butt so much"

She giggled and that was all I wanted to hear, it instantly filled my chest. "It really is a nice piece of ass Mr. Grey"

"Well Ms. Steele, I guess next time we'll have to check out yours. Thoughtfully"

She laughed, making everything feel easy and nice. I hug her tightly; I can't seem to have enough of contact with her even when we're glued together.

"I'd like that" She whispers.

I close my eyes inhaling her scent. She's precious, and now she's mine. _She has to me mine, I need her. _

"Goodnight Anastasia"

I don't get any response; instead I only hear her soft, stable breathing. She's already asleep and we're all tangled up in each other, her legs are between mine, her head is resting on my arm, I'm holding her by her waist, she's holding me by the hips. _I smile, it truly is a first for me._

Tomorrow I'll show her my playroom, this was the most amazing and pleasurable experience I ever had but I'm afraid I won't be able to control my needs and so she has to know, I have to show her that part of me. I have to convince her to stay and to understand my necessities, I can't loose her. I just need to make her see and accept my dark side.

XXXX

I close my eyes impatiently, maybe this isn't the best option after all. I had the most amazing morning of my life; do I really want to jeopardize Anastasia by showing her this?

Maybe I can fight my needs, maybe I don't have to tell her. We had vanilla sex, twice now – counting the shower time – and I never thought I could like it so much but I did. I liked it more than I've ever liked sex before.

_Who are you kidding Grey? You know you need this, you can't control it. _Though I despise my subconscious, right now it's right. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up, I do have special necessities and Anastasia went to traumas on her own, if anyone can understand this, it was to be her.

I sighed again, opening my eyes and looking intently at her.

"Come on Christian, you can show me." She whispers, holding my hand.

For some reason that gives me strength and I open the door to my playroom.

"Please… I just…" I stumble with the words, they have no meaning right now, what can I say? "Please, let me explain before… you jump to conclusions"

Anastasia blinked and entered the room; I followed her steps, mentally crossing my fingers. _This is it, there's no turning around Grey._

I hear a gasp escape her lips and when I reach her all I can see is deep panic swirling in her eyes.

"I…" I can see the words got caught up in her throat while she struggles for air. "I-I… I can't… I do..."

Fuck, she's having a panic attack._ Shit, shit, shit, you fucked up everything Grey!_

"Ana" I say stretching my hand for her to take it but she refuses with a trembling hand, shivering in her all body. "Anastasia, please"

She begins to walk backwards towards the door, pain and fear buried in her gaze. She keeps mumbling something but I can't figure out what.

She's afraid of this, afraid of me. I must have triggered something inside of her._ Fuck, what do I do now?_


	17. Chapter 17

**I want to apologize for the hiatus (so, so sorry). I had lot of complications coming on the way and they kept me from the writing scene for a while. I'm here now, humbly hoping you can forgive me and still be willing to give this a shot. **

**Regardless, I'm really appreciative of the support I had so far! Hope I can make it up.**

* * *

**Anastasia P.O.V. **

I entered it.

After the jolt of energy from his touch left my body, I could feel his fear and nervousness pouring through his skin. That was making me a bit skittish too, but I didn't want to show him that._ I couldn't show him that._ I took slow but deep breaths and blinked my eyes, trying to adjust to the dim lighting of the room.

It was almost pitched black and I could barely see anything at all, I could hear though, and I heard very clearly the frenetic heartbeat consuming Christian's chest. I blinked again trying to reach deeper in my observation, when cautiously, some light turned itself on and I could see everything clear as water.

I froze.

I gasped unable to contain the panic from my body. What was this? I couldn't be there, I couldn't do any of that… I just couldn't form any coherent thoughts in my mind, and my brain was screaming for me to turn around the fastest I could manage and run away. Very, very far away.

He wanted to hit me? I couldn't be hit; I couldn't let him hurt me. _Not anymore, no one can hurt you now Ana, you have the power. Only you. _

"Ana," I heard him call while extending a hand, I couldn't... "Anastasia, please."

I couldn't keep my body from shaking uncontrollably, without realizing I was walking backwards towards the room. I needed air, I needed space. I needed to escape that place, I needed to leave the hell out of there if he wanted to hurt me.

"I… can't… I-I…" I struggled for air, my throat sore and harsh. "I can't let it happen… not anymore… I'm the one who decide, I have the power… I can't be hurt."

I kept repeating my mantra over and over again but it wasn't working at all. How could he, after the best night of my life? After finally finding a way to forgive him for stalking me… This is what he meant with punishment. I flinched at that word, not only did he try to fire me but he thought about _physical_ punishment…

I needed to breathe and get out of here. _Now_.

Without further dwells I turned on my heels and run. I run until I reached the threshold, tapping frenetically on the elevator button, luckily he was already on that level and instantly opened the metallic doors. I didn't even give a second thought. I jumped inside and nervously chewed my bottom lip. Christian's voice accompanied me throughout the all time, he kept calling my name but my brain kept refusing to assimilate any meaning to it.

I got a hold of his sight, his face torn, pain habiting on his beautiful silver irises, a thin line severely designed on his lips. This was not what he was expecting, but then again, it wasn't what I was expecting either, so I guess we're both in the same level.

I took small amounts of air into my lungs, trying to find some peace in between my journey to the parking lot. For a brief moment I panicked inside all over again thinking how in the hell was I going to get out of the place and that I'd have to go walking again through out the city and frankly I wasn't in the best state for it. But then I calmed a bit, remembering when Christian told, during breakfast, that Taylor had picked out my car from the club after we came home.

I smoothed the wrinkles of the t-shirt I was wearing, I hadn't even brought my clothes with me but I didn't care though, it didn't made that much difference. I just needed air, I needed desperately to breathe some fresh air.

My mind was racing a mile per hour, every possible thought gathered there, every awful memory on the surface of my skin. This was not a good sign, clearly our relationship could never work, it started off at the wrong foot; I should have known it would only bring me pain and anguish. I should have seen it coming, things don't usually go that well for me.

The doors opened again and it didn't seem fast enough, I placed my hands on both of them and forced their opening as if it would somehow help out, as if I would even have any strength to push them faster. As the moment came, I slipped through the breach and run to the parking lot.

Just as the other times, it was empty, dark, lonesome, decorated with still shadows of vehicles. I searched frantically for my little car, I needed to find it urgently. My eyes draw to slits and I began to scan the all area, I spotted my old and very useful friend and instantly began a run towards it.

Just on cue I heard the ping, announcing the elevator had yet come to this level from another one. Hastily glancing back I only saw a manly form coming my way so I entered my car as fast as I could.

_The keys!_ Damn, I searched everywhere for them and still couldn't find it. After a more throughout examination in the glove compartment I found them and I breathed heavily in relief, but just as I was about to start the car a loud tap on my window made me jump both in scare and nervousness. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, hoping somehow that when I reopened them, whoever it was, was gone. Far, far away gone.

I peeked through my semi-closed eyelids, and there it stood a man standing confidently by the side of my car. Only it wasn't who I was expecting to see.

"Ma'am," Taylor said. Now we were back at formalities, great. "Would you please step out of the car?"

I quirked my brow. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. I shook my head and started to ignite the motor once again, just to make sure my point was cross.

"Please," He extended his arms, probably to give some peace of mind about his intentions. "I'll drive you home if you want but you're in no state of driving for yourself."

I glared at him but I guess he made a point, I didn't want to back down though, so I kept shaking my head, denying that satisfaction to him.

"Miss Steele," He began, rubbing his forehead. We were both getting desperate in there. "Anastasia," He tried again more calmly. "Please, you're in no proper state, it's not safe. I'll take you home at once, we'll even take your car, just… don't drive it yourself"

I glanced around, my hands were shaking frenetically and my vision wasn't in its best state so I could understand and even concede him that much. After too much silence, and after what felt like hours had gone by, I nodded. He could drive me home, I guess that was okay.

Taylor forced a small, thin smile just to reassure me that everything would eventually be fine and that my choice had been the best. I cringed inside, was it really the best? The security man fletched inside his pocket for something, his brows knitted together now. A cellphone appeared in his left hand and with a shift movement, keys were pressed and the advice was tightly glued to his ear.

"Sir?" He nodded and mumbled other words but I couldn't understand all, as I was still inside the car. "Yes, she's here. Okay, will do. Yes, I'll take her now."

The conversation was business-like and short-cut but it made my blood boil. Obviously this was Christian's orders, I felt angry at myself for not see that coming, why else would his personal bodyguard be just outside my car supposedly concerned with my well-being?

I shrugged out of annoyance_. How dare he?_ I hissed inside myself, he had been the one that brought up all this mess. He was the one who got all worked-up with my job, who even got the nerves to demand my quitting; not only had he made judgmental values of me without knowing anything about my character, he also had he courage to get outraged at my profession. I led one hand to my mouth, just to prevent a scream that so desperately wanted to leave my throat.

He tried to pressure me to change while during the all time, those torturous, awful objects were just hidden in that damned bedroom. A tug in my heart showed me clearly just how I felt, and it was betrayed. Probably I had no right to feel so, but I did. I had given away my time, trashed on my rules, go overboard with his crazy life and fought with the only family I had left.

Tears were just making their way to my eyes, I tried to keep them opened wide to prevent the flowing sea of sadness from evading them. I wouldn't break down on sobs right there, on his damn parking lot, with his damn man looking out at me.

And then suddenly wrath rippled through my body, he created this all mess and now he wanted to take care of me? He wanted to control me just the way he had done so far? Well, I had news for Mr. High and Mighty. I wasn't keeping up with that.

I resumed by action of igniting the car myself and as I did so I saw the cellphone on Taylor's hand fall flatty on the floor. I even smiled it was nice for his boss ego, _take that you conceived son-of-bitch!,_ thought I was going to allow your control needs but that was about to be over.

"Ma'am" He shouted trying to tap on my window shield. I didn't gave him the chance, though, as I pressed urgently on the accelerator and gave my car the impulse to start his journey.

I speed away the fasted I could manage, maneuvering the curves of the parking lot. I had never driven there myself but I had been in the building times enough to see where the cars went and go. I didn't dare to look back but I felt good as I did what I was doing. Somehow, it felt freeing.

My drive home was a blur, I couldn't know how I even got there but once my car was parked and I was stepping inside my threshold I cursed Taylor. He was damn right, I was in no fit state to drive and I had put not only myself but my fellow citizens on danger.

I should have walked, I muttered to myself but now that I was home and the shaking didn't seem to go away I decided it was time for a bath. A real nice, real long bath.

During the all time since the incident both mind and body were in shock, but now that I was peacefully immersed on warm, trepid water, the fear stroked me at my core and through wild snobs I let it all out. A sinking feeling was in my stomach and I felt like not enough air came into my lungs to keep my body correctly functioning. I felt like scratching my skin and rip away my hair, though I did none of that.

Not only had that room brought old, disturbing and unwelcomed memories I thought as forever buried but my heart was still pained at the sight of his betrayal. Somehow, and though we had nothing officially together, I felt like Christian had stabbed my back, twisting the knife around the wound just in good measure.

My sobs were very violent, so damn violent I was almost convulsing so when a loud, creak noise echoed through the entire house, I made nothing of it. I was in no state to even notice it. I was still too deep inside my head, my fears, my panic. Shadows entered the room abruptly and I took in their form warily. I couldn't perceive anything clearly at first but it was obvious there were at least two and they were big.

"Get out!" A daintily familiar voice called in an urgent yet authoritarian voice.

A strong set of hands grabbed my arms, I tried to fight it the best way I could. I believe I even screamed, yet nothing seemed to loosen his grip, it was strong as steel but gentle as velvet. "Calm down, Ana" I heard the same familiar voice whisper – or so it seemed – to me. "Its fine, you're safe."

I forced my eyes to focus on my companion, whoever it was, moved his hands to my ribs and, as gently as a summer breeze, lifted my frail body. Before I could do anything, soft, fluffy towels were being securely wrapped around me and slowly I felt the shaking subside and noticed that the crying had stopped too, though I still could feel my cheeks tainted with dry sadness. My vision was still blurred from everything, so I just closed my eyes. My caring intruder gave my skin a throughout cleaning and I was dry as I could ever be, when he began brushing my hair. His fingers began rooming through my locks, untangle them slowly and only passing a brush afterwards; a pattern was developed and it didn't took long before I gave in to the sweet caress, my eyes kept shut and my mind became a blank spot.

I wasn't able to consciously notice when my companion picked me up and drag me all along to my bedroom, all I knew was that when I gain some conscious, I was laid in bed with a soft nightgown adorning my exhausted body. I shivered though I wasn't cold. Actually I was very warm and that was quickly explained by a strong, defined arm around my waist that was tightly holding me to a hard chest.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. It was strong, fresh, manly and simply _him_. I didn't need to turn around to be sure of who it was. A tear escaped my eyes but I suppress all others.

"Christian," I whispered weakly. My voice unnatural to my ears.

He held in silence for a while. Minutes went by. I knew he wasn't sleeping but I wouldn't dare to say something else either. "Anastasia," He finally replied.

I sucked in a breath, a sinking feeling in a pit of my stomach. I wanted nothing more than to turn around my burry my face on his chest. I wanted to be held, to be held by him. Yet I couldn't, not at the moment.

"Leave."

"Ana…"

"Please."

We stood still for a few more minutes, his grip tighten on my waist, Christian's inhaled my scent deeply as if it was both the first and the last time he'd be able to do so, and who knew it he wasn't just right. I held his arm meekly for a moment too, feeling his smooth skin against my fingertips.

I let go after a while and reluctantly so did he. Without another word his weigh lifted from my bed, making the mattress almost jump. I bitted my lip just to stop the tears from coming back. I heard his footsteps moving to the door but I didn't dare to turn away and face him. I might change my mind if I did so. I couldn't.

The door opened, slowly. I could tell he was looking at me, expecting some reaction. He got none, so shyly he mumbled, "I'm sorry" and just as quickly as his words made their why through the empty space, he left the room.

After a while I heard the front door being shut down, it wasn't with force but it was with enough determination to be heard. I appreciated the consideration, after all. I closed my eyes, I wanted to rest for a while but I ended up passing out completely.

XXXX

A loud annoying noise made me jump in bed, I wake up startled and I hated that. My phone was ringing in a madly way but when my eyes, reluctantly, opened themselves and my hand fletched to grab the infuriating object, it stopped.

Damn my luck, I thought, though I might even have said it out loud. My mind was still too groggy from everything. I wanted to burry my head in the sheets and never get up again but I've decided I couldn't run away forever. Slowly, visions of previous events came flashing back to my head and the same sinking feeling creped back to my stomach. Again I wasn't able to suppress a loud groan. Glad nobody was there to hear me out.

I checked my phone for the first time since I remembered. I had three lost calls and a couple of messages from that day. I cringed when I saw the names of the senders, my supposed friends, my _family_. I closed it tightly, I wasn't ready to deal with them just yet. I had had too many disappointments in the last few days.

Glancing at my clock my eyes widen, it was nearly noon. I was sleeping since the previous morning events, damn. That meant my panic attack really took its tool on me. It also meant that it was Monday and it was a work day.

I considered going to the gym but I was still to shaken to make the effort. Slowly I got up from my bed, I decided to eat breakfast first before giving in to my pressing thoughts. A bowl of cereals and a nice apple made my stomach ache quieter and I sighed content, about it. It was one last thing to worry about.

Once I glanced down on my body, I saw I was wearing a nice, silky nightgown I didn't even remember possessing. It was soft and welcoming warm. I grazed my fingers through the fabric and contemplate its simple beauty; my heart twisted on my chest looking at it as I thought of whom had put it on me.

I wanted to take a shower but I was too scared to enter the bathroom, I had had a breakdown there and the only person who came in to help me out was the same one that put me in that delicate position. I sighed again, this time out of sadness and frustration. Perhaps if I didn't have such a huge baggage myself I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. Perhaps I would have staid there as it was asked of me and listen to his explanation. Perhaps we might have a shot.

I shook my head, no point in dragging my misery further. Clearly we weren't destined for each other, if that ever existed for anyone. I just had to accept we weren't meant to be and it shouldn't be too hard. Yet something inside me cringed at my mind, something bugged me in deeper layers of my soul when I thought of such things.

I went back and forward in my bedroom, pacing around, thinking. Examining everything, every possibility, every outcome; wishing I had a different story to tell, wishing we'd met under different circumstances, wishing we were new people.

But we weren't different and I couldn't change that, regardless of the force I put behind each wish. I could only accept, try to work around it, see where it leads. But could I do so?

I could feel my anxiety rising again, but this time I had no one to help me out. I hold my breath, counted to ten silently over and over again, and then I knew what I had to do. I needed to see _a particular person_, to talk to _him_.

I picked up my phone quickly and searched in my small agenda for his number, it had been years since the last time I had saw him. But I needed this. I let it ring a couple of times before starting to get exasperated, this was wracking my nerves but I didn't give up. On my last ring, an overly-sweet, all the way southern voice answered.

"Good afternoon, I'm Kaleen, you're talking…" I didn't let her finish, I didn't have the time.

"Hi Kaleen, look this is an urgency, is Thomas there?"

"Uhm… and who's speaking?" I could feel the hesitation on her voice.

"Anastasia Steele." I comply at once, impatience in my tone.

"I'll see if he's available, just hold on."

I said nothing more and did as I was told. No more than two minutes had gone by when I heard his deep, calming voice greeting me. A wave of peace travelled through me just from hearing him. This was indeed a good decision.

"Ana," He spoke his accent still a mystery to me. "How are you?"

"Not good." I confessed, though I suspected he already knew that much.

"You only call me in these circumstances, I'm hurt by it." I tried to smile at his teasing but it didn't come through. Instead I sighed.

"Can I go there?"

"Sure."

"I'll be there in an hour."

I hang up feeling somewhat lighter, this would do me good, I repeated to myself.

XXXX

When I got to his place, I began to feel uneasy all over again. Though I knew this was what I needed, I hadn't gone there in years. It made me feel good knowing that I was copping with all just fine and alone, without his help, so now, by going there again it felt like giving a step back, like showing weakness. I knew that was completely stupid and obviously not true yet I couldn't stop myself from feeling my damn feelings.

I pressed hard on the doorbell; I didn't have to wait long till a tiny, redheaded woman came to answer the door. She had a sweet smile displayed on her lips, though, she looked hesitantly at me. Her face was rounded and she had the biggest, warmest brown eyes I had ever seen.

"Are you Anastasia Steele?" She asked with not a hint of accusation on her voice.

"Yes."

"Follow me, then."

And I did as told.

I was guided to a small, yet cozy, antechamber that preceded his office. I set there, quietly observing the paintings that stood proudly on the walls. Kaleen disappeared behind Thomas's office door, she shut it firmly but again, it didn't take long before she entered the waiting-room to fletch for me.

"Please," She said waving with her hand and giving me a more reassured smile. "You can go in."

I did as told, once again. Stepping inside his office throw me off balance for a minute. I felt every memory come rushing back in and I was about to panic if not for his calmly voice to greet me, once again.

"Ana." He said standing up from behind his heavy darken-wood desk. "Please," He motioned me to step forward and I did so.

"Do you need anything?" Kaleen asked still on the threshold. "Perhaps some coffee?" Her eyes fell on me but I politely declined any drink. "Then, I'll leave you to it." And she, indeed, left us.

I sited myself on his grey couch, close to the left side of his desk, next to the grand window he had. You could see the large garden that stood behind his house and I stayed there quietly observing the landscaping.

"How have you been?" He interrupted my musings, after a while.

"I've been good." I answered, and that was true. Until a couple of week ago everything was just fine with me.

"And how are you now?"

I wrinkled my nose just to prove the point. Thomas chuckled and managed to make me smile. He was still a young man, probably in his mid-thirties; he had sharp, graceful features and a long, silky black hair that was skillfully wrapped in a low ponytail.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, it was childish but I couldn't help myself.

Again he laughed, but it didn't last long. "You know that was a rhetorical question. Now, do you want to talk to me as your friend or your psychiatrist?"

I stared at Thomas for a while, he stared back at me.

"Both," I whispered after a moment.

"Well then." He grabbed a chair and dragged it to my front. He sited quietly. If I had wanted the shrink he would have sited clinically behind his big desk and would stand there formally awaiting my response. I knew his procedures too well by then. "What's going on?"

"I fought with the Kavanaughs." I blurted out, without even thinking.

"Oh?" His eyebrow raised quiet immensely but I added nothing more until he spoke again. "Why?"

A sigh escaped my mouth, I averted my gaze towards the trees in the garden again. "I met someone."

He made an encouraging sound, hinting me to continue on with my story.

"It's complicated though."

"It always is," He conceded.

"I guess…" I tried to formulate my thoughts, where to begin with? "He infuriated me at first. He made judgments of my person based on my job and tried to undermine by position because of it."

"Well, though we are very advanced in many areas, some stigmas still exist on our society. The women role on it it's still a delicate topic, so concluding that a stripper may have less moral values than another more professional conservative woman is wrong, yes, but still very frequent. You know that Ana and some prejudices still held great deal in our lives, regardless of living in the twenty-first century and the sociological revolutions that were made during History."

I nodded, I knew that. It hurt like hell, but I knew it regardless.

"He's a control freak."

"Oh…" This time, Thomas was not only waiting me to proceed, he was truly at lost of words.

"He has an extreme need for command, at all time, in all situations." I suck a breath of air before allowing myself to speak again. "He infuriated me, like I said, so we kind of had a few arguments during the beginning of our… involvement. I was rude and mean, I agreed on that, but my walls were perfectly secured so far and I couldn't go around and break them all of a sudden."

"One step at a time," Thomas agreed.

"Yes, well I was wary of that man because I had an attraction towards him and I had never felt something like that before, plus he was a club's client and I have very strict rules about that, you know, so he should had never been on my mind, yet he was all I could think off,"

"He was there when I had a nightmare. A really bad one, I tried to stab him too." I continued staring at the window, looking thoughtfully at the clouds on the sky. On with my own problems.

"Really?" Thomas asked, absorb in his own thoughts. This was, too, a rhetorical question. "And what did he do?"

"He calmed me down and took care of me." I hated saying so, but it was indeed, Christian's actions.

"He didn't panic himself?"

"No, he has nightmares as well."

"Well, that explains." He mused and said nothing more.

"We kind of established a connection but then something got on the way, I made the wrong assumptions and didn't bother to stick around to find out if any of them was true." No need to specify every detail. I guessed the resume of all, served just find.

"So you run away?" Thomas was not judging in any form, yet I felt hurt by his question. It was exactly what had happened and he concluded so after what I told because it was my pattern. I run away when I'm scared, when the troubles begin to be too much.

"Yes," I whispered weakly.

"And he let you run away?"

"He came after me when he found out, I guess he wanted to understand what was going on but I slapped him and went on my way."

"I see... How did he react?" He was being too much of a shrink with all the questions, but I let it slid, it had been I who had come looking for his advices.

"He did nothing and let me go, but I deduced he got angry, I'd be so too. Between that time and the next one we saw each other, he figured out my presumptions."

"Was he still angry with you?"

"No…"

"So, what did he do?"

"He tried to explain the misunderstanding."

"Did you let him?" He already knew the answer yet he wanted to hear it from me, just so that I could listen to my stubbornness.

"No. I thought he was lying… I was sure I was right but an unexpected event changed things and he needed my help, I kind of recognize my own obstinate behavior so I defended him and that's when Katherine, and Ethan for that matter, betrayed my confidence."

His brow quirked slightly. I continued. "They shared things no one else was supposed to know just to hurt Christian." I said his name unconsciously without even noticing.

"Were those things personal?" I nodded quietly, fighting the tears from my eyes. "They didn't have your feelings in consideration?"

"No and it was personal stuff, really personal, and they just blurted out as if I was no matter, their eyes only set on their own goal."

"I see. And what was Christian's position in all of this?" Thomas used his name and I flinched at the unexpected occurrence, I remembered saying it before but my heart was still too sore to hear it.

"He stood by my side, and went home with me. Well, I kind of went home with him but it was under my own orders."

"And he had no problem in obeying them?"

"No, he did as I suggested and I took care of him afterwards, he was in bad shape." I lowered my gaze remembering our moments. "We had a wonderful morning then but we fought when I needed to get to work."

"He's still not accepting it?"

I almost laughed, obviously he wasn't but the pain in my chest suppressed the primary urge to chuckle. "No at all," I confessed. "He wanted me to quite, when he understood I wouldn't do it, he left me alone."

"But were you engaged in a relationship, by then?" I shook by head, so he tried again. "Did you guys work things through?"

"He went after me, he picked me up at the club. We argued again because he was being extremely controlling but we kind of figured it out."

"You went home together?"

"Yes."

"You had sex?"

If it was anybody else I would have been offended by the bluntness of the question, but both Thomas and I knew the relevance of this question and how much it meant if I said yes.

"We did."

"Why?" Again I knew he wasn't being reproachful he was just trying to understand how deep my connection to Christian was, and truly I was glad to help him figure out, because I wanted to know that desperately too.

"I felt secure with him, he saw the scars and didn't even flinch, I felt adored… all of me, even my wounds. I made lo… sex with him not to feel connected or appreciated in any way," I closed my eyes, I had done that in the past with a despairing need to feel loved. "Because with him, I felt that before we even did it."

"That's very good Ana, then… why did things went downhill?"

I tried to keep my eyes closed, I didn't want to face the world but if I kept like that, flashbacks of all that happen would come rushing in and I couldn't afford that. Reluctantly I opened them, "yesterday's morning he wanted to show me something… a room that he had on his house."

"It… it had things… awful, hurtful things that he… he wished to do with me…" I was on the verge of tears but I held them on.

"So your partner is on to sadomasochism?" Thomas was bluntly in his speech, not trying to sugar coat anything that for sure.

I flinched at the mention of such concept, but I nodded anyways.

"But when you had sex, was it in a common way?"

I nodded weakly again.

"Did he say he wanted to do those things to you?"

"No, but he showed me… obviously…" Thomas brow quirked again and I shook my head. I knew what he was thinking. "I didn't run away because I didn't want to face the problems, I run away but I panicked."

"You did?" His dark eyes widen immensely. "You haven't had a panic attack in so long… was the room what trigger that? What did you feel?"

"Helpless" I cringed at the idea of reliving all, but it was necessary. "I was scared, I felt like a little girl trapped, all memories came flushing in, I couldn't shut them down, I couldn't be in control of my body. I was overwhelmed and I felt like I wasn't breathing. I got angry afterwards, I felt like he shouldn't have ever showed me that. I feel betrayed."

"Uhm-uhm" Thomas nodded and mentally took note of every word I said. "What happened next?"

"I went home, I drove when I shouldn't but I was too stubborn to take help, Christian followed me and broke into my house. I was crying in the tube when he found me, he cleaned me and laid me on bed."

"Did he leave you after that?"

"He laid down with me too, but when I regained conscience I asked him to leave."

"And did he?"

"Yes."

None of us spoke a word for a very long time after that, we sited quietly; I eyeing curiously the gardens, Thomas thinking about all the news I had given him. I enjoyed the silence for a while but after that it became too much. I had come there to get help, advices, to prevent my life from going downhill, yet he wasn't providing me with any answers.

"Do you have nothing to say?" I asked rather uncomfortable.

"Ana, let me ask you again, do you want me as your shrink or your friend?"

He was dead serious and I could tell it by the sternness in his deep, dark eyes. I gulped, what did I want _really_? I wanted both but maybe that wasn't possible given the situation, and given the situation as well, probably I needed one more than the other.

"The shrink." I blurted out, probably for the best.

"Okay," He spoke cautiously, I was expecting him to get up and around to his desk but he didn't move a muscle from his seat. "That room was a trigger to you, you should be able to control your panics better but it was understandable the way you reacted. You weren't expecting it, you trusted someone, someone new who came abruptly into your life, someone who unstable your routine and by putting yourself on that vulnerable position and having that unwanted surprise, you felt betrayed."

I nodded, yes, that was about it. Only it did sound better when Thomas explained things to me. He continued.

"You were in a new place and that made you feel even more out of the element, more scared, more wary. It is agreed that you did not leave because you wanted, it were your instincts that led you to that decision. For what you tell me Christian understood that too, he saw something was wrong and he went after you under that premise. He was right and, luckily for you, he was able to help you out. You're not panicking now though, are you still angry with him?"

I blinked, what kind of question was that, "Yes, you know I am!"

"Why?"

_Really?_ "I feel betrayed and you said so yourself, it is understandable to feel that way, I trusted him and he deceived me."

"You told me he is a control freak and that he disrespected you in the beginning, yet you managed to overcome that, in fact you had consensual intercourses with him despite all. So you accepted the facts and try to work things through. When you tell me you feel deceived, is it only due to the room his showed you?"

I wasn't totally following through but I complied, "Yes."

"And you feel betrayed because he has that room in his house and apparently enjoys those practices?"

I was getting exasperated with the twenty-one-questions game, I knew by then he had some conclusion but clearly he wanted me to get there by myself. I wasn't keen on that; I was too tired to exercise my intelligence.

"What's your point Thomas?" I sighed annoyed.

He smirked at my impatience but went on with his speech. "My point is that you're not thinking clearly, you're not evaluating all angles. You're not in a relationship alone Ana, Christian has a part in there as well and you're completely ignoring his side."

I raising my eyebrows inquiry but said nothing more. I wanted to hear his position.

"I understand you didn't wish to see or to be involved in those activities, but from what I can tell, he never actually asked you to do so. He showed you his room and I assume he wanted to give you some explanation, though due to the circumstances he wasn't able."

"So what do you mean?"

"I mean that he was sharing something with you, something private. You said he has nightmares as well and a need for control, do you know in want are based sadomasochism relationships? A Dom/sub relation is all about gaining and ceding control, though against common creeds is not the Dom who held the main power but instead the sub. Yet, and if he craves authority, that kind of relationship can be a way of dealing with his necessities."

I gulped, okay; perhaps I wasn't ready to hear all this.

"You didn't hear his explanation Ana, so you don't know his reason for showing you that or even to have such place. You shouldn't made up your mind before hearing all parts, that what makes you assume wrong things and take rushed conclusions. You know that not's rational and that's not good even for yourself."

"Are you saying I should hear him out?"

"Yes, I am saying that. You should take calculated risks Ana, I told that before, but you're not calculating anything this time. You're just assuming something is wrong for you because it made you feel uncomfortable at first."

"I can't do those things Thomas…" I whispered, remembering the room again.

"And I'm not saying for you to do, I'm sure Christian wouldn't say so either if you explain your fears. You have to allow him to enter your life, fully, if you want to establish something real. You can't expect to be able to trust people if you don't give something back too. You have to share as well if you want to understand and be understood."

"Are you telling me I should let him know about me? About what happened?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. The man has flaws, as we all, yet he didn't give up on you. Perhaps this… involvement, can have a shot. But you do have to permit it." Thomas sifted in his chair, his eyes held kindness in them and I knew without a doubt my therapy session was over, he was my friend now. And as so, he reached for my hand, squeezing it lightly. "Telling your story doesn't make you weak nor does it make you repulsive, it makes you a survivor and if you're trying to get in terms with it, perhaps you shouldn't try to burry it so deep inside you."

I eyed him suspiciously but mulled his words over and over in my head. I never put things in perspective when it comes to stuff like this, and I knew I should do so. I sighed desperate, could he be right?

XXXX

I washed all traces of make-up from my face, I let the dirty, work clothes fall from my tired body and I sucked a big amount of air into my lungs. I could feel my hands shake in nervousness, but I tried hard to ignore it, it was late. Or early. It depended on the perspective. I had just gotten out of work, it was one of those days where I would have given everything to be able to call in sick, but I couldn't, and it would be worst if I didn't distracted myself from my own thoughts. They were consuming my mind and I was exhausted, both physically and psychologically.

Regardless I knew what I had to do and so I dressed some sweat-pants and an old t-shirt I had nearby. It wasn't common hours to go on and knock on people's doors but then again, none of this was normal so he would just need to suck it up.

I exited my house, quietly as if I was escaping a crime scene. In fact my entire journey was that way and in reality I couldn't know why. No matter, there were things I needed to do and even though they appeared dreadful to me, it would bring me peace and perhaps some happiness in the near future, or who knows…

I wanted to close my eyes, but I was driving so that wasn't the best option. Everything until I got to his building façade was a blur to me; I couldn't see nor hear nor even think straight. My mind was a mess of tangled thoughts. Yet I was sure, this was what I had to do. And so, I breathed deeply and press the keys to his penthouse, hoping someone would still be awake.

A nervous shiver ran down my spine. For a long time no-one answered the doorbell, I was about to resign myself to my destiny. It was five-thirty in the morning after all, I couldn't expect much. I was about to turn around when I hear a familiar, strong voice.

"Who is this?" I knew he already knew who it was, he had security cameras in his office and he wouldn't be doing his own job right, if he didn't already.

"It's Anastasia," I sucked all air and trying not to sound too nervous. "Is Christian there?"

"Mr. Grey is here, yes." Taylor answered swiftly.

"May I go up?" My voice was trembling, I was afraid to hear the answer. Could this be too late for me, for us?

It appeared that it wasn't, because just on cue, Christian's voice resounded through the answering device.

"Get on the elevator."

I did as told, I was shaking as a leaf in on windy Autumn's day, but I shrugged my negativity and straighten my spine as I awaited for the mechanic, grey doors to opened in front of me.

* * *

**Please don't kill me for ending things here! The chapter was already too long and it needed a break, I wanted to be Christian's POV when Ana tells him her story. Again, I'm sorry to make you wait so long. I just have to clean some rough edges in the next chapter and I'll post as soon as possible! **

**Also, I'll review all my chapters so far; I won't change major things but I'll – hopefully – correct most of the mistakes I've made. **

**Again, thank you guys! **


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